# 108, Long Live the Queen

Reviewer’s Note: There are two scripts available for this review. One is marked “Final Draft” and dated May 8, 1967. The second is marked “1st Revision,” and dated July 18, 1967. Except for very minor wording changes, these scripts are identical with the exception of one scene which was in the original, but deleted from the revised version and the episode. This scene will be noted at its proper place in the text. This episode is also another example of the script trailer not being used at all, in fact, there is actually no trailer to the episode.

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: The scene begins with Darrin having breakfast. He turns on the radio and prepares to pay close attention to the announcer. As the characters speak their lines, the announcer may be heard in the background.
• Episode: The scene opens in the living room with Darrin having coffee and listening to the radio. In the ensuing action the announcer’s voice is barely audible except to announce that Endora is coming to visit Darrin.
  
  
• Script: Ticheba appears in the kitchen in a blast of wind, a flash of lightning, a blast of thunder, and a cloud of smoke.
• Episode: Ticheba appears in the living room.

ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Ticheba sweeps into the living room, preceded by Endora, and followed by Samantha who keeps an eye on Darrin.
• Episode: The episode starts in the living room. There is no entry of Ticheba into the living room from the kitchen.
  
  
• Original Script:
  TICHEBA: [to Samantha] Come here, my dear [as she approaches] You’ll be happy to know that very soon you will be able to revoke that curse.
  SAMANTHA: What curse?
  TICHEBA: The one that caused you to marry him.
  SAMANTHA: Your, Majesty, it wasn’t a curse.
  TICHEBA: Then it was a hex or spell. But whatever it was, by the special powers you will now have, you will be able to neutralize it.
  SAMANTHA: But I don’t want - -What special powers?
• Revised Script: The above is cut.
• Episode: The episode follows the revised script.
  
  
• Script:
  TICHEBA: That’s hardly a problem. I’ll turn him into something suitable, like a doormat.
  SAMANTHA: No!
  TICHEBA: All right than, I’ll turn him into whatever you like.
  ENDARA: How about an artichoke?
  SAMANTHA: Mother!
• Episode: After Ticheba’s first line, the rest is cut.

Endora has the line [to Ticheba], “We try. But sometimes we fail”. Endora uses this same line to Hepzibah in # 201.

Stephens’ Living Room – Later:

• Script: [Samantha is trying to explain to Darrin how she can be both Queen and housewife, and not cause him any problems.]
  SAMANTHA: I’ve got it all worked out. [a] In the first place, being Queen of the Witches is more of an honorary job than anything else. [b] And whatever business does come up, I’m going to take care of it after midnight. [c] So it won’t affect you or the baby. [Darrin shakes his head, trying to comprehend the matter]
  DARRIN: I just don’t understand. [d] You’re the least likely Queen of the Witches I could imagine. You’re married to a mortal – you’ve got a family - -[e] why you?
  SAMANTHA: Yeah. Why me? Well it’s sort of hard to explain.
  DARRIN: Try.
  SAMANTHA: [trying] You see, certain witches are chosen at birth [selling] [f] It’s quite an honor. Well, I was one. You have no way of knowing - -and finally my number came up.
  DARRIN: What do you mean, your number came up? You make it sound as if they’ve got a big wheel of fortune in the sky and it stopped on you.
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, how did you know? [g]
  DARRIN: Sam, I’ve got just one thing to say. Forget it. [h]
  SAMANTHA: I guess I didn’t make myself clear. When I said I can’t refuse it, that’s just what I meant. [i] When you’ve been selected, you must serve! You have no choice.
  DARRIN: Then . . .it doesn’t really matter what I think? [j]
  SAMANTHA: It does to me. But not to them.
  DARRIN: And it doesn’t matter what you think.
• Episode: Lines [a] up to [b], [c], [d] up to [e], [f] up to [g], and [h] up to [i] are cut. Lines [i] up to [j] are left in. The last lines are cut.

Witches’ Glen:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: I wish they’d start.
  ENDORA: We will as soon as Ticheba chooses to make her appearance.
  SAMANTHA: But I promised Darrin I wouldn’t be gone long. I still don’t see why he couldn’t have come.
  ENDORA: A mortal at a witches’ coronation! Are you mad!
  SAMANTHA: Oh, Mother. You’re such a snob. [Another CAMERA angle] A mother and daughter are observing. They are both quite hefty]
  DAUGHTER: She is lovely, isn’t she, Mother?
  MOTHER: Little on the skinny side, if you ask me. [A crash of thunder, a flash of lightning, and a blast of wind sends leaves flying]
  ENDORA: [looking up] What a ham. [Ticheba floats down, landing next to an elderly warlock, who kneels. The crowd noise continues, and irks Ticheba. She plucks a hammer out of the air and strikes a non-existent gong between she and the warlock.]
  TICHEBA: Ticheba, your queen has come! Silence all and cease this hum.
• Episode: All of the above lines are cut. The action is changed somewhat. When Ticheba floats down, the warlock does not kneel. He holds the gong that Ticheba strikes.
  
  
• Script: Samantha approaches the rock. She is preceded by two young witches carrying a large book on a pillow. Two more follow, carrying her train. Endora follows and takes her place behind Samantha.
• Episode: The witches carrying the book are eliminated. Endora stands beside and below Samantha.
  
  
• Script: TICHEBA: . . .And whilst I read, let all give ear. [The BookBearers step forward and hold the book before Ticheba. She peers down at the open page] [reading] [a] Do you, Samantha, take this warlock - - -[She stops and glares at the Book Bearers in disgust. They hurriedly find the right page]
• Episode: [Line [a] is cut. The BookBearers appear from the opposite side that Samantha arrived from. They hand the book to the old warlock who holds it open for Ticheba. There is no mix-up in the proper page.]

ACT II

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: Samantha’s bed is empty.
• Episode: Samantha is not in her half of the double bed.

Stephens’ Entry Hall:

• Script: [Several witches and warlocks are standing about. One of them holds a small white elephant on a leash. Darrin comes down the stairs and stares at the elephant.]
  WARLOCK: [to Darrin] A present for her majesty.
  DARRIN: Swell.
• Episode: [There is no elephant present. Darrin comes down the stairs and goes to Samantha.] The lines are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  BIRD: . . . .One wrong word and bingo! – you were transformed.
  SAMANTHA: I don’t think you’re being fair to Ticheba. You people must have been guilty of something.
  BIRD: Minor infractions, believe me. Would you turn somebody into a bird because he was two days late for an appointment?
  SAMANTHA: Certainly not!
  BIRD: Well, that’ll give you some idea. And I’m lucky. At least I can get around. But how far can you get if you’re a lamp or a doormat?
  SAMANTHA: How awful!
• Episode: After the Bird’s first line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: . . .It better taper. And soon. [a] Incidentally are you allowed to turn down gifts?
  SAMANTHA: Of course.
  DARRIN: Good, because I think we’ve got all of the white elephants we need. I’m going to get myself a glass of milk.
• Episode: Starting with [a], the remainder is cut.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Darrin opens the refrigerator. A tiny figure in a Beefeaters costume is perched on the butter dish]
  FIGURE: Is she going to pardon us? Is she?
  DARRIN: Welcome to Disneyland.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room Intercut With Darrin’s Office:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: [on phone] Oh, hello, Darrin. How did the meeting go?
  DARRIN: [into phone] Sam, it was a piece of cake!
  SAMANTHA: You got the account?
  DARRIN: Not yet. Roebling is one of these paternalistic types. He says he wants to be sure I fit into the Roebling family. So, this afternoon he and I are playing a round of golf. And then I have a hunch he’s going to expect me to ask him over for a drink – so he can meet you.
  SAMANTHA: Oh, dear. Should I prepare some hors d’oeuvres?
  DARRIN: No, no. I don’t want him to think you had any warning. You can always throw a little something together, can’t you?
  SAMANTHA: You mean, by . . .?
  DARRIN: No, I mean the regular way. Some caviar and some pate de foie gras will do it.
  SAMANTHA: If that’s what you want me to throw together, I’d better call the delicatessen and have them throw it together first.
• Episode: The above scene is entirely cut. NOTE: The script uses “Roebling” as the client’s name. In the episode the name is changed to “Roarbach”.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Samantha has told the bird she meant after midnight]
  DARRIN: [to bird] You - - -out!
  BIRD: [to Samantha] Couldn’t you just come out and say a word to them?
  DARRIN: Did you hear me?
  SAMANTHA: [a] [to bird] I think you’d better leave. . . [eyeing Darrin] . .Before you end up in a fricassee.
  DARRIN: [to bird] Right! And get those other characters off my front. . . .[ the chair enters]
  CHAIR: [b] What’s going on?
  BIRD: [c] I told you to wait outside, didn’t I?
  DARRIN: Sam, for Pete’s sake, do something! What kind of a queen are you? Get rid of them!
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, these poor unfortunates are depending on me. They need my help. I’m their queen.
  DARRIN: I’m depending on you. I need your help. I’m your husband. [d] You should have seen the look on Roebling’s face when the bird flew in - - - -
• Episode: All but lines [a], [b], [c] and [d] are cut.

Stephens’ Entry:

• Script: [Roebling rushes to the door]
  DARRIN: Wait Mr. Roebling! I think you should give me a chance to explain something that . . .that I don’t know how to explain!
• Episode: The above is cut.

Joe’s Bar:

• Script: [Darrin and the stranger are still crying in their beer, paying no attention to each other’s complaints.]
  DARRIN: You wouldn’t believe what’s been going on in my home. Last night I found a guy sitting in my refrigerator.
  STRANGER: My mother-in-law gave us our refrigerator for a wedding present. Twelve years ago. And she’s been with us ever since.
  DARRIN: Talk about presents, last night somebody showed up with a white elephant!
  STRANGER: Everything my mother-in-law buys is a white elephant. Ever see a fur telephone cover?
• Episode: The above lines are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Samantha has accidentally changed Darrin into a goose. She chases him around the room. ACT II ends here.
• Episode: Samantha chases Darrin around the room with a line added about him standing still so she can change him back. The Episode ends with this scene.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Notice something, dear?
  DARRIN: What’s that?
  SAMANTHA: It’s after midnight and we haven’t had any visitors.
  DARRIN: Oh, yeah . . .
  SAMANTHA: And we haven’t had any for over a week. So you see, it’s really not going to be a problem.
  DARRIN: Let’s keep our fingers crossed
  SAMANTHA: Me, to. [rising] You go on up and I’ll finish in here.
  DARRIN: Okay. [He exits. There is a tapping at the door. Samantha opens it to reveal the warlock –bird.]
  WARLOCK-BIRD: Good evening, Your Majesty. [over his shoulder] It’s okay, come in. [He enters followed by an assortment of creatures and objects]
  SAMANTHA: Oh, no!
  WARLOCK-BIRD: What’s the matter? It’s after midnight, isn’t it?
  SAMANTHA: Yes, but . . .[indicating group] Where did they come from?
  WARLOCK-BIRD: They were at a monastery in Tibet. So naturally the news got to them a little late. But . . .
  DARRIN’S VOICE: Sam?
  SAMANTHA: [calling] Be right there, Darrin! [to the others] I’m afraid I’m going to have to exercise my royal perogative [script spelling] and ask you all to come back tomorrow night. I’m sorry but I’m afraid I couldn’t fit you into the schedule for tonight. [Samantha makes a gesture and they all disappear]
  DARRIN’S VOICE: Sam! . . . [She smiles, twitches the kitchen clean, and heads upstairs.
• Episode: The entire script TRAILER is deleted.

# 110, Business, Italian Style

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Samantha stands before the sink of dirty dishes when they are suddenly washed and put away].
  SAMANTHA: Mother, I’d rather do it myself. [Endora POPS in holding a large dress box. Samantha starts preparing Darrin’s breakfast, and suggests to Endora that she leave until Darrin has gone to the office. Endora ignores her, calling attention to the dress box, and asking Samantha to guess what is in the box. Samantha replies that it is a dress from Paris. Endora is elated that Samantha has not forgotten how to read her mind. Samantha replies that she can still read labels. Samantha is dubious, but agrees when Endora wants her to try it on. As Samantha starts to untie the ribbon, Endora zaps the dress onto her. Samantha giggles as she admires herself in the sequined mini dress. They hear Darrin calling. Flustered, Samantha waves her hands and the dress is back in the box, but she is wearing the box].
  ENDORA: See what happens when you get out of training. [As Darrin enters, Endora zaps the box off and Samantha is again in her housedress. Darrin complains that the presence of Endora has ruined his appetite and leaves for the office. Endora then zaps the dress onto herself, and says she will wear it].
• Episode: The entire script teaser is cut. The episode teaser is the first part of the script Act I.
  REVIEWER’S NOTE: This script teaser is not wasted. With some variations and expansion of the scene it was used as the Teaser for # 141 – Samantha’s Wedding Present.

ACT I

Larry Tate’s Office:

• Script: A meeting between Larry, Darrin, and Mr. Arcarius {who represents Chef Romani Italian foods} is concluding. Mr. Arcarius explains that Mr. Romani will make the final decision about who gets the advertising job. He adds that it would not hurt if Larry or Darrin spoke some Italian. Larry assures Mr. Arcarius that Darrin is fluent in Italian. After Mr. Arcarius leaves, Darrin objects to Larry’s claim that he speaks Italian. Larry tells him to learn Italian or be fired.
• Episode: This scene is used as the Teaser for the episode. About one third of the lines in the script are cut, but nothing that alters the basis for the scene is deleted.

Stephens’ Den:

• Script: Calls for Darrin to be seated on the couch with a pile of records beside him. Samantha sits across from him.
• Episode: Both stand by the desk where the records are piled next to a record player.
  
  
• Script: Darrin starts the first record. He is asked to say his name, and then say it in Italian. Then he is asked to say “Good Morning” [repeated three times], and “What a glorious day it is”. He is then taught how to say, ”You have a body made for love”, followed by, "Are you married?”, “Happily married?”, and, "Is your husband in the city with you?”
• Episode: The lines, “Good morning”, “What a glorious day it is”, “Are you married”, “Happily married”, and “Is your husband - - -“ are cut.

Stephens’ Den [later]:

• Script: Calls for Darrin to be lying on the bed with his eyes closed when Endora POPS in, in miniature form and sits on the record.
• Episode: Darrin sits back in a chair; Endora POPS in, full size, and sits in the air above and behind him.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: There is a note in the script as follows: NOTE: TO THE BRILLIANT MR. DICK YORK. The Doctor Jekyll – Mr. Hyde syndrome is going to take possession of you so that very subtly your English is going to become heavily accented.
  DARRIN: Aska me somethin’ else. How I feel or somethin’ like that!
  SAMANTHA: How do you feel?
  DARRIN: Io sto bene – mai sono stato tanto bene – Good?
• Episode: The last two lines are cut.

ACT II

Stephens’ Entry:

• Script: Larry has arrived looking for Darrin.
  SAMANTHA: Oh, he can fake that all right.
  LARRY: Well, I won’t keep him long. [He starts for the stairs. Samantha steps in front of him].
  SAMANTHA: Larry, I wish you wouldn’t.
  LARRY: Sam, Mr. Romani is coming to the office at three this afternoon and I’ve got to discuss business.
• Episode: Larry’s last line is cut.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Darrin listening at the door]
  LARRY’S VOICE: Now why won’t you let me see him?
  SAMANTHA’S VOICE: Well, it may be contagious.
  LARRY’S VOICE: A headache – contagious? [Darrin turns away from the door in frustration and trips on a stool. He goes sprawling.]
  DARRIN: Mannaccia!
• Episode: This scene is cut. Samantha and Larry, in the entry, hear Darrin trip and fall.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha demands that Endora appear or else she will be banned from the house. Endora appears in her bathtub.
• Episode: The scene takes place in the living room with Samantha starting out on the stair landing.
  
  
• Script: [Endora admits to giving Darrin a little private tutoring].
  ENDORA: At least he won’t embarrass us with the Countess De Grazzi.
  SAMANTHA: Why didn’t you come when I called yesterday?
  ENDORA: Because I was in Italy villa hunting for you. And I found a perfectly darling place - - -
  SAMANTHA: Mother, you made a dreadful mistake.
  ENDORA: I understand. You’re upset because I gave him a Sicilian accent.
  SAMANTHA: Mother! [then spelling it out] Mother, Darrin doesn’t speak English anymore.
  ENDORA: Anymore? He never did. I can’t bear a man that splits infinitives.
  SAMANTHA: I mean he can’t even split an infinitive. Mother, you’ve deprived Darrin of the use of the English language!
  ENDORA: I have? [then shrugs] So I made a boo boo.
  SAMANTHA: Your “boo boo” can cost him his job.
  ENDORA: If you’re going to shout, I will ask you to leave my bathroom.
  SAMANTHA: And I will ask you to leave this house forever unless you unspell Darrin.
  ENDORA: Nag, nag, nag.
• Episode: Most of the above lines are cut. Endora’s, “So I made a boo boo” is changed to, “So I over-did it”.

Larry Tate’s Office:

• Script:
  ENDORA: [imitating Darrin] I’m a do the best I can. It has to take time. [Endora makes a gesture. They unfreeze].
  ROMANI: You a lie, Mr. Stephens, or whatever is you real name. No Americano spikka with accent like a that. No! You Italiano! Italiano! Why you ashamed? Columbus not ashamed! Da Vinci no ashamed! Joe di Maggio not ashamed! Why you ashamed?
• Episode: Samantha does the unfreezing. Romani’s lines are cut.

TRAILER:

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script: After Samantha tells Romani how much Romani products Endora brought back, she has the lines, “I’ve become addicted! I simply couldn’t exist without your marvelous pasta. It has the touch of the Italian sunshine in every bite."
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: Romani has a line, “Hisa campaign maka Chef Romani as American as ham and eggs."
• Episode: “Ham and eggs” is changed to “Apple pie”.
  

# 111, Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

NOTE: The title page of the script uses "Double Trouble" as the episode name. "Double, Double..." is not used until the heading on page four of the script. The full title is never used in the script.

TEASER

Stephens' Bedroom:

• Script:  Calls for close-up of the clock on the bed to read 3:00 AM. Camera pulls back to show Darrin sleeping, and back further to show Samantha's empty bed. We hear a guitar. Darrin wakes up, looks at the clock, gets out of bed, grabs his robe and goes to the door
• Episode: Begins with Darrin waking to guitar music. He gets up, puts on his robe and goes to the door. There is only one bed.

Upstairs Hallway:

• Script: Minstrel [Ferdy] sings: "Off we go, into the wild black yonder, Witches all, all in a row. Up in the sky, midst lightning and thunder, with nary a care, our spells we sow."
• Episode: Song ends at: "Up in the sky."

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: After Endora tells Darrin that Ferdy is a seventeenth century minstrel, she adds that he served Queen Elizabeth the First.
• Episode: The reference to Queen Elizabeth is dropped.
  
  
• Script: As Darrin and Samantha cross to the entry hall, Ferdy is seen coming down the steps.
• Episode: Ferdy is not shown coming down the steps, but is shown standing next to the throne.

Entry Hall:

• Script: Between Samantha's: "Darrin, that's not fair", and Darrin's "Now are you going to tell them...", several lines of conversation/argument take place.
• Episode: These lines of conversation/argument are cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: After Samantha dissolves the court, there are several lines of complaint from the Witches/Warlocks about "High handed", "I've waited..., etc." Endora has lines about not being able to discourage Darrin, that she suddenly has a brilliant evil idea, and that Samantha will be out of the house all day tomorrow.
• Episode: Everything is cut except the lines about the evil idea.

END TEASER

ACT I

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Endora goes into the broom closet and calls Serena. Serena steps out of the shadows.
• Episode: Serena pops in.
  
  
• Script: Endora has the line: "Uh... just one little detail, do you mind?" Endora then makes Serena a blond. With a second wave she changes Serena's dress to be like the one Samantha is wearing.
• Episode: The line is changed to: "Just a few small details". The hair and dress change are both done at the same time.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Serena enters the living room as Darrin comes in from the patio. After Serena's line about going back tomorrow, the scene shifts to the Kravitz living room.
• Episode: The scene in the Kravitz living room is moved ahead of Serena and Darrin's scene.

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Serena enters and asks Endora where Samantha keeps the sugar. Endora zaps the cup full.
• Episode: This bit is cut. Serena is shown with a full cup.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: After Gladys leaves, Darrin has lines beginning with: "Sam, what is it?...". He continues with: "Why am I asking, when I know the answer? It's that stupid crown! Give an inch and take a mile!" After Serena's line: "I'm tired of jumping every time you bark", Darrin has the line: "I bark?". This is followed by Serena saying: "Yes! And what have I gotten in return for everything I've given up? A job! A plain, stupid old mortal housewife job that never ends!"
• Episode: The above lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: As Serena continues her tirade, after the line: "And furthermore - -", the script calls for Endora to pop in and freeze Darrin.
• Episode: After the line, Serena realizes that Darrin is frozen. Then Endora pops in.

Stephens' Den:

• Script: Darrin ushers Larry into the den. Following Larry's line: "Having a little problem with Samantha?", the script continues as follows:
  DARRIN: How did you know?
  LARRY: Intuition. What's wrong?
  DARRIN: She's been acting very strangely.
  LARRY: In what way?
  DARRIN: Well, she... she [a beat], I really can't talk about it.
  LARRY: You called me over here to tell me something you can't talk about?
  DARRIN: Well, for one thing, she's not as affectionate as usual.
  LARRY: Oh, well, that's no problem. You probably forgot some occasion, like her birthday?
  DARRIN: No.
  LARRY: Anniversary?
  DARRIN: No.
  LARRY: Christmas?
  DARRIN: Larry, it's the middle of summer.
  LARRY: Okay, lets move on to some basic matters. How long've you been married?
• Episode: Most of these lines are cut.

Stephens' Entry:

• Script: At Larry's line: "Well not too much. I mean we talked a little", the scene ends.
• Episode: The following lines are added:
  DARRIN: Did you get anything out of her?
  LARRY: Yes, but she didn't tell me anything.
  DARRIN: What did she say?
  LARRY: Darrin, I think you've got a little problem on your hands.

ACT II

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Calls for a troop of Witches and Warlocks to come through the wall and approach Serena and Darrin. Serena then pops into her royal robes.
• Episode: Serena changes to the royal costume before the Witches and Warlocks enter.
  REVIEWER'S NOTE: At this point, on page 26 of the script, three pages of confusion begin. One third of Page 26 is blank at the bottom, and the script covers the lines from Serena's: "What does it look like?", through Darrin's line: "Well, it's been nice knowing you, too!". These lines agree with the episode. The next page, unnumbered, begins with the same line as page 26 does. However, after Darrin's "It's been nice knowing you" line, it continues with directions that Darrin storms out, the group forms a ring around Serena and sings: "He's gone, he's gone, let's hope he's gone for good! Hurrah, hurrah, we did the best we could...". Endora pops in in a puff of smoke with the lines about: "We still have work to do". The third page, also unnumbered, begins where Darrin storms out. It follows, with two exceptions, the episode through Endora's line about having work to do. The exceptions are: Ferdy's song is cut short in the episode and Endora appears slowly from the ceiling, rather than popping in in a puff of smoke. The script then continues with page 27. The first unnumbered page duplicates page 26 and the second unnumbered page, but with a different slant to the scene.

Church Basement:

• Script: Samantha is on the phone asking Louise Tate to come down to the church to help. Louise has the excuse that she had agreed to take the baby over to her mother's. Larry enters. Louise thinks that maybe Larry can take the baby. Larry wants to know if they are talking about the problem Samantha and Darrin are having. Louise is surprised at hearing that there is a problem between Samantha and Darrin. Larry assures her that there is trouble, and maybe Samantha will come to their house and talk about it. Louise invites Samantha over. Samantha is confused, since she asked Louise to come to the church to work, but Louise wants her to come to her house and talk.
• Episode: This scene is cut entirely.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Samantha to look puzzled, start to leave the basement, then go back to the phone booth and begin dialing.
• Episode: This bit is cut.

Tate's Living Room:

• Script: Calls for a short conversation between Larry and Louise about Samantha and Darrin's problem.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: The phone rings. Serena starts to answer it, but Endora grabs it away from her. It is Samantha calling. Samantha asks how everything is going, and what is Endora doing there? Endora says she just came to see Tabitha. Samantha wants to know if Darrin is there. Endora says he went for a walk, and that everything is perfect at home.
• Episode: This scene is cut entirely.

Outside the Stephens' House:

• Script: After the conversation between Darrin and Abner ends the scene shifts to the Stephens' Kitchen where Serena and Endora congratulate each other, and then we hear Darrin calling for Samantha.
• Episode: ACT 2 ends after the conversation between Darrin and Abner. The episode TRAILER begins with the kitchen scene.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Calls for the pie to be cherry whipped cream.
• Episode: The pie is lemon meringue.
  
  
• Script: Endora pops in to get the pie in the face.
• Episode: Endora comes through the kitchen door and gets the pie.
  
  
• Script: Samantha says: "Now - -just get some forks".
• Episode: Samantha says: "Now - -just get some spoons". The following lines are added:
  SAMANTHA: How do you like that, Serena?
  SERENA: Not bad. [Darrin licks some off Samantha's nose].
  DARRIN: She's right. It is tasty.

END of EPISODE

SCRIPT TRAILER

The script reads as follows:

Interior Stephens' Garage:

[Darrin is working on the car as Larry hovers nearby waving a card at Darrin]
Larry: But this marriage counselor is terrific. He saved my marriage from going on the rocks.
DARRIN: I've been trying to tell you, Larry. I don't need a marriage counselor.
LARRY: Darrin, it won't help to pretend the problem isn't there.
DARRIN: Look, the whole thing has cleared up. Everything's fine between us.
LARRY: Oh. [giving him the card] Well, keep this for future reference. [Darrin takes the card] Did you ever find out what was bugging Samantha?
DARRIN: [at a loss] Why... uh... it seems she took the wrong pills by mistake and it... sort of affected her metabolism.
LARRY: And that was why she was behaving the way she did?
DARRIN: Apparently.
LARRY: You... you don't happen to know what kind of pills they were?
DARRIN: No.
[Samantha comes into the garage]
SAMANTHA: Hi, Larry. Will you have some breakfast?
LARRY: No, thanks, I've got to run. [He starts off, then stops] Bless you both. [He exits]
SAMANTHA: Did he buy it?
DARRIN: [with a grin] I think he's going to try to. Now about your mother...
SAMANTHA: Dear, she went on trial last night, just as I promised, and she's already serving out her punishment.
DARRIN: What is it? [Samantha points to the sky where some skywriting is beginning to form that reads: "I promise never to..."]
SAMANTHA: She has to write it a hundred times.
DARRIN: Good! [They look back up.] The phrase is now complete: "...bother What's-his-name-again".
SAMANTHA: Leave it to Mother. She's got to have the last word.

END of SCRIPT TEASER

# 112, Cheap, Cheap

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: SAMANTHA: I’ll get it! [She waits for Darrin to go back to the kitchen, but he doesn’t move] Dear, Why don’t you go back and finish your breakfast? [The doorbell rings again]
• Episode: Samantha has the line added: “I said I’d get it”, a couple of beats after her first, “I’ll get it”, and before the, “Dear, why don’t…” line. [The doorbell does not ring again].
  
  
• Script: Samantha says the coat was marked down to $150.00
• Episode: The $150.00 is replaced with $160.00.
  
  
• Script: After Darrin says finding the bargain was gratifying:
  SAMANTHA: Thank you, dear. [taking coat] You’re always saying it’s important to economize. And I saved over a hundred dollars on this!
  DARRIN: Sam, that’s not what I meant by economizing.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: That’s right. He’s a careful cheapskate.
  SAMANTHA: He has to think of the future, too.
  ENDORA: Oh, really? I didn’t know he had one. [As Sam bristles] Samantha, don’t fall into that mortal trap. What’s the future but the past brought up to date?
  SAMANTHA: That’s very good. Didn’t Plato say that?
  ENDORA: Only after I mentioned it to him.
  SAMANTHA: Well, Mother, I really have a lot of work to do. And I don’t think you’ll ever understand mortals.
  ENDORA: Oh, don’t I. I know that they’re experts at hiding behind words. To avoid telling the truth, they invent tact. To conceal their fear of each other, they invent courtesy. And thrift is what they call their innate cheapness.
• Episode: After the first line, the rest is cut.

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: A sonic boom is heard and Endora POPS in, perched on a swaying chandelier [or whatever].
• Episode: There is no sonic boom. Endora is perched in mid-air.

Outer Office:

• Script: Darrin enters and hands a letter to Miss Schaeffer, his secretary. [The script always uses “Miss Schaeffer”.]
• Episode: The secretary is referred to as Betty, the name usually used for Darrin’s secretary, throughout the episode. {The episode always uses “Betty”].
  
  
• Script: [Darrin stoops and pulls a pencil stub out of the wastebasket].
  DARRIN: Why did you throw this away?
  MISS SCHAEFFER: Well, sir, it’s so small and . . .
  DARRIN: Yes, but there’s a lot of life left in it.
  MISS SCHAEFFER: [stoutly] Mr. Stephens, I can’t take 75 words a minute with a pencil that size.
  DARRIN: Well, no one expects you to! Take 65 if you have to. Take 55. The important thing is to save, save, save, no matter what it costs!
  MISS SCHAEFFER: Pardon?
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Larry’s Office:

• Script: Larry, Darrin and Mr. Bigelow discuss the cheap cigars Mr. Bigelow smokes. Darrin wants to buy some since they are so cheap.
• Episode: About half of the lines in this scene are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: As soon as Darrin turns off the first lamp, he sits on the sofa.
• Episode: He does not take a seat until he is ready to examine the lamp by the sofa.
  
  
• Script: DARRIN: I hit it off with the client right away. We just seemed to have a lot in common. As a matter of fact, I was thinking I’d like to have Mr. Bigelow and his wife to dinner, soon.
• Episode: Between the second and third sentences in the above, Samantha has the line added, “Well, sweetheart, I just can’t tell you how thrilled I am”.
  
  
• Script: After Darrin asks what’s for dinner:
  SAMANTHA: [rising] Steak. And I’d better take a look at it.
• Episode: Samantha’s line is changed to, “Steak and asparagus with Hollandaise sauce. And I’d better take a look at the sauce.”

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Darrin looks down at the steak on the broiler rack.
  DARRIN: It’s burned.
  SAMANTHA: That makes two of us. [She picks up the steak with a fork and looks at it with a disgusted air.] I’ll have to throw it away.
  DARRIN: You kidding? Charcoal’s very good for the system.
• Episode: Darrin looks at the saucepan:
  DARRIN: It’s curdled
  SAMANTHA: That makes two of us. [She picks up the saucepan and regards it with a disgusted air]. I’ll have to throw it away.
  DARRIN: You kidding? I love curdles.
  
  
• Script: After Samantha tells Darrin that Endora has turned him into a cheapskate:
  DARRIN: [grossly offended] I beg your pardon? In what way have I been cheap?
  SAMANTHA: If you’ll run out and get some Chinese food, I’ll have a list for you when you get back,
  DARRIN: Don’t be silly, we’ll be hungry an hour later and I’ll have to pay for two meals. Listen, do you think tomorrow night is too soon to ask Mr. Bigelow and his wife for dinner?
• Episode: All but Darrin’s last line about asking Bigelow to dinner are cut.

ACT II

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: Darrin has just completed inviting Bigelow to dinner when Larry enters:
  DARRIN Oh, Larry, I just spoke to Bigelow and he accepted, so will you tell Louise?
  LARRY: Okay, Darrin. What did you say to Miss Schaeffer yesterday? She didn’t sleep a wink and she came to see me the first thing this morning and the poor girl was in tears.
  DARRIN: Nothing. I just pointed out a few ways she could save the firm some money.
  LARRY: By using the backs of calendar pads and the stumps of pencils?
  DARRIN: Every little bit helps. Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know.
  LARRY: And neither do good secretaries. She just quit!
  DARRIN: [triumphantly] Good! There’s another saving for the company.
  [Larry glares at him and Darrin reacts guiltily]. The “she quit” line is crossed out, and “she threatened to quit” is penciled in.
• Episode: The entire scene is deleted

Stephens’ Living Room and Entry:

• Script: Samantha casts a spell to try to get Darrin out of being a cheapskate:

“This has never worked, I know,
Just the same, this spell I’ll throw,
Spell out, spell in,
When I wave, let the spell begin!”

The script suggests a white ball be used to trace the route of the spell as it ricochets off Darrin and hits Bigelow.

• Episode: The spell is changed to:

“Creepy cheapie,
Take a chance,
On a triple dose
Of extravagance.”

A ball is not used. Only the recoil reactions of Darrin and Bigelow show where the spell has hit.

• Script: As Samantha winces over the “accident”:
  DARRIN: Oh, … [She enters toward the group]
• Episode: Added are the following lines:
  MRS. BIGELOW: We should move to the country, dear.
  BIGELOW: The commuting gets pretty expensive, doesn’t it, Stephens?
  DARRIN: I’ve been thinking of starting a car pool.
  BIGELOW: Good idea.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: It is after dinner. Bigelow has decided he wants to sponsor the “Andy Douglas” show, no matter what the cost. Darrin pushes for the much cheaper “ Name the Place” game show.
  BIGELOW: You’ve got to spend money to make money.
  DARRIN: But a penny saved is a penny earned! And time is money! And you’ve got to put something away for a rainy day!
  BIGELOW: For your information, young man, the Bigelow tire company has never had a rainy day in thirty years!
• Episode: The above lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: Endora POPS in accompanied by a shriek of wind and freezes everybody.
  SAMANTHA: At last!
  ENDORA: [looking around] I guess things got a little out of hand, didn’t they?
  SAMANTHA: Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling for the past twenty-four hours!
  ENDORA: Sorry, Samantha. I was at the camel races at Aboujinad and I couldn’t answer.
  SAMANTHA: Why not?
  ENDORA: I was riding the favorite. And my dear, I won!
• Episode: After Endora’s “things got out of hand” line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script: Endora uses the following spell to free Darrin:

“Weebus wallabus
Teetle film,
The time has come to alter him.
Rumbus rebus,
Apple pan soak,
The spell I wove I now revoke.”

Endora waves and unfreezes the group.

• Episode: The Spell is:

“Weebus wallabus,
Teetle bell,
The time has come to alter the spell.
Rumbus rebus,
Apple pan soak,
The spell I wove I now revoke."

Samantha returns to her seat and Endora unfreezes the group.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha and Darrin are doing the dishes.
• Episode: Samantha is making coffee.
  
  
• Script: Darrin opens the cupboard door to put away a dish he has dried.
• Episode: Samantha asks Darrin to get cups from the cupboard.
  
  
• Script: A miniature Endora sits in a cup on the shelf.
  ENDORA: You’ll what?
  SAMANTHA: Mother, what are you doing in there?
  ENDORA: Resting. Camel racing really takes it out of you.
• Episode: The above lines are replaced with:
  ENDORA: You’ll what?
  DARRIN If you are trying to show me how small you feel because of what you did to me . . .
  SAMANTHA: Mother. What are you doing in there?
  ENDORA: Resting!
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, don’t let her size fool you. There’s nothing small about her powers.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Darrin to exit and return with a box. He sits down and opens it. She takes a coat out of the box. It is identical to the coat she returned.
• Episode: Darrin exits and returns with the coat, unwrapped.
  
  
• Script: SAMANTHA: Are you ready to say “uncle” Mother?
• Episode: Added is Samantha closing the door on Endora and giving Darrin a kiss.

# 113, No Zip in My Zap

TEASER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: Calls for Darrin to wake Samantha with breakfast at 5:30 am.
• Episode: The time is 6:30 am.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: What are you doing up so early? And come to think of it, why did you get home so late? I tried to wait up - - -
  DARRIN: I saw the pot of coffee.
  SAMANTHA: That was my second pot. And that doesn’t answer my question.
• Episode: After, “What are you doing up so early?”, the rest of the lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin exits, a pause and Tabatha enters.]
  TABATHA: Daddy?
  SAMANTHA: He just left for work, sweetheart.
• Episode: [Darrin exits, a pause and Tabatha enters].
  TABATHA: Morning, Mommy.
  SAMANTHA: Morning sweetheart.
  TABATHA: Daddy go?
  SAMANTHA: He just left for work, sweetheart.
  
  
• Script: Samantha sees Darrin’s briefcase. She lifts the tray out of her way on the bed and gets up calling down the stairs as she does. Seeing she has missed him, she goes to the window. She turns to see Tabatha pulling on the tray. She TWITCHES at the tray and Tabatha and reacts as the tray goes off the bed with a loud crash. She TWITCHES at the mess on the floor and nothing happens. She then tries the spell:

Crickery crockery heed my wishes
Reassemble into dishes!

• Episode: Samantha takes the tray from the bed and puts it on the dresser before she calls down the stairs and goes to the window. She sees Tabatha pull on the tray, but she does not TWITCH. She looks at the mess on the floor and TWITCHES. Nothing happens. She reacts, and TWITCHES again. Still nothing. She tries the spell given in the script, and still nothing happens.

ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Endora has appeared]
  SAMANTHA: Mother, I’ve lost my powers.
  ENDORA: What’s Durwood done to you?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin had nothing to do with it.
  ENDORA: Don’t be naïve - - They’re always saying, “I’m only human” - -“a mere mortal”. It’s probably contagious!
  SAMANTHA: Mother, this is serious. Watch!
• Episode: All except the first and last lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Dr. Bombay has appeared in a Roman toga. He had been at a concert.]
  ENDORA: In that get-up?
  DR. BOMBAY: Quite appropriate I assure you. Nero was fiddling and - -[He gestures and a fire extinguisher appears in his hand]. Rome was burning. It was a smasheroo, a re-enactment, of course.
  ENDORA: Of course and, I’m sorry but this is an emergency. You know my daughter Samantha . . .[Dr. Bombay nods politely]
• Episode: Rather than a fire extinguisher, a red bucket labeled “FIRE” appears. The line where Endora introduces Samantha to Dr. Bombay is deleted.
  
  
• Script: SAMANTHA: Rome didn’t have to take care of her child - -and clean her house. [Endora waves airily and exits, leaving Samantha to fold her arms in midair].
• Episode: Before Endora exits, she has the line added, “Grand ma ma will take care of little Tabatha. As for the house, you can take care of it yourself - - when you feel better.

Stephens’ Living Room – later:

• Script: [Endora and Tabatha are on the floor playing with Tabatha’s dollhouse. Camera pans up to include Samantha stretched out in mid air nearby]
  SAMANTHA: Please put me down, Mother. I’ve got so much to do. [Tabatha points to the levitated Samantha and laughs]
  TABATHA: Funny Mommy.
  ENDORA: See what happens, sweetheart, when you don’t practice your Witchcraft...
  SAMANTHA: Mother!!
  ENDORA: I’m only trying to do what’s best for my grandchild. You don’t seem to realize how serious being earthbound is. A witch never loses her power - -but when it gets dammed up the way yours is, it can cause a lot of trouble.
  SAMANTHA: Oh, that’s just an old witch’s tale.
  ENDORA: I remember your grandmother telling me about an aunt of hers - - -they figured she hadn’t practiced witchcraft in about three years when it happened.
  SAMANTHA: What happened?
  ENDORA: Well, it appeared as if she had lost her powers, but they were just dammed up. One day she thought that it might be nice if she were to dig herself a pretty little rose garden - - -just thought, mind you, and suddenly . . .
  SAMANTHA: Yes?
  ENDORA: Grand Canyon.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Hotel Corridor:

• Script: DARRIN: [to Larry] You don’t know Mary Jane - -she put in the yearbook she’d pay me back - - under her ambition.
• Episode: The script lines are replaced with, “So long Larry. You don’t know Mary Jane. You should see what she put in the yearbook: Roses are red, violets are blue, it may take a while, but I’ll get you”.
  
  
• Script: Larry refers to a college prom.
• Episode: ”College” is changed to “high school”.

ACT II

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: SAMANTHA: Mother, you work at trying not to understand. It would be a shame if Darrin’s deal fell through. I’ve never seen so excited before. This morning he was all lit up like a Christmas tree.
  ENDORA: The way he comes to a point at the top, it must be a charming effect.
• Episode: The last half of Samantha’s lines are cut. Endora’s lines are cut.

Hotel Suite:

• Script:
  DARRIN: Before you sign Miss Nilesmunster, there’s something I think you should know . . .
  LARRY: [quickly] Darrin, Miss Nilesmunster is a busy woman. Let’s not delay her any longer than we have to. [during Larry’s line M. J. starts to sign the contract and suddenly Darrin bursts into song.
  DARRIN: [sings] Down the field for Morris High, boys . . Onward to the goal . . .Wave your banners high, boys. [slowly, Mary Jane looks up at Darrin as if he is out of his mind. Larry’s expression is one of utter shock. Feeling the impact of Larry and Mary Jane’s gaze, Darrin slowly dries up. Then he launches one more attempt] Do or die - - -for Morris High - - -The old school song . . . remember . . .[He dwindles down again under the stares of M. J. and Larry. M. J. smiles and then quickly affixes her signature to the contract, hands the paper back to Darrin. She rises]
  M. J.: Thank you very much, gentlemen. [she exits]
• Episode: To Darrin’s first line is added, “You’re being dealt with unfairly”. Darrin does not sing anything, or refer to Morris High. The bit where M. J. and Larry both stare at Darrin is cut.

Elevator:

• Script:
  LARRY: Even Cary Grant has changed a little.
  DARRIN: Well, I’m not Cary Grant.
  WISE GUY: No kiddin’?? - -you coulda’ fooled me.
• Episode: The elevator scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: I’ve lost my powers, they’re all dammed up and if I don’t take care of myself, the dam bursts . . .I won’t be able to control myself - -it’s sort of like getting the hiccoughs when they won’t go away . . .
  DARRIN: [sits thoughtfully] She didn’t recognize me.
  SAMANTHA: [sits next to him] I don’t know what you’re talking about. But I had nothing to do with it.
  DARRIN: [gets up thoughtfully] Then how could she not have - -
• Episode: The last part of Samantha’s first lines are cut. The rest of the scene is cut.

Hotel Suite – Living Room:

• Script: [Darrin has awakened M. J. The effects of his drinking have worn off.]
  DARRIN: So I’m sorry that I woke you up, but I had to clear the air. For reasons that I can’t explain you didn’t recognize me this afternoon - -but I thought by now it . . .whatever it was . . .might have worn off. Darrin Stephens - -Morris High School, Missouri - -
• Episode: The above lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: M. J.: The last time I saw you I was very upset . . .I’d rather not remember that hysterical, vengeful girl.
  DARRIN: Oh, brother!
  M. J.: I was hoping you’d get the message, but when you started singing the old school song, I decided the quicker I got out of there the better.
• Episode: Darrin’s line and M. J.’s last lines are cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: Calls for the camera to move back early in the scene to show Samantha is floating above the bed, not in it.
• Episode: The camera does not move to reveal that Samantha is above the bed until near the end of the scene.

# 114, Birdies, Bogeys, and Baxter

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: DARRIN: It’ll just be a couple more days until Larry and I play with Joe Baxter. We want his account, and it seems to be Standard Operating Procedure with him to play golf with prospective business associates.
• Episode: Beginning with, “We want his account - - - -“, the remaining is cut.
  
  
• Script: [Endora has POPPED in and invited Samantha to go to the elephant races with her. Endora makes a gesture and Samantha is clothed in a beautiful sari].
  ENDORA: Don’t you look lovely! Now let’s truck Dum Dumm back into bed and we’ll be off.
  SAMANTHA: Mother - - We’re going nowhere. [Samantha makes a gesture and the sari is replaced with her normal clothes.
• Episode: The line and bit about the sari is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Darrin was a very good golfer, and he just wants to get his old game back.
  ENDORA: [impatiently] Well, give it to him for heaven’s sake!
  SAMANTHA: [angrily] Mother, you work very hard at not understanding! You know Darrin doesn’t like me to use witchcraft. He wants to do it by himself. Then he’ll be happy.
  ENDORA: [shaking her head] You silly little witch. Don’t you know how it is with a mortal and his games. They’re never satisfied - -They never know when to stop.
• Episode: Endora’s line about, “Give it to him”, as well as Samantha’s reply is cut. Added to Endora’s, “They never know when to stop” is: “They get a little better, then they want to get a lot better. Then they get a lot better and they want to play all of the time. Soon he’ll be living at the golf course. Which, I guess, is better than living here”.

Stephens’ Hall:

• Script: Endora POPS in to the entry hall. She whispers an incantation to give Darrin back his game and makes a gesture.
• Episode: Endora sits in a tree on the patio to do the incantation.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha is shaking Darrin trying to awaken him. We see the golf clubs glow throbbingly behind her back.
• Episode: The golf clubs do not glow.

Stephens’ Hall:

• Script: ENDORA: [looking toward kitchen] Okay, Darwood - - -that’ll give you something to play around with [she POPS out].
• Episode: [Endora is on the patio] This bit is cut.

ACT I

Driving Range:

• Script: [Darrin takes his driver out of the bag and gets set to drive. Some off stage birds are singing loudly. Darrin looks toward the birds and waves his club at them.]
  DARRIN: Knock it off, will you! I’m in no mood for cheerfulness. [The birds stop singing, apparently scared off. Then JEFF, the attendant in his sixties comes up with a bucket of balls.]
  JESS: You never give up, do you, Mr. Stephens?
  DARRIN: I may give up today, Jess - - -[as Darrin tees up his ball, the club head glows a little].
  JESS: [intoning] Bend the knees - -head down - -eye on the ball - -left arm straight - -back slow - -
  DARRIN: [same rhythm to Jess] Step back - -shut mouth - -get lost!
  JESS: [offended] Okay, if that’s the way you feel [pause]. Go ahead. [pause] I could use a good laugh.
  DARRIN: Cut it out, Jess!
  JESS: The only reason I stay on this crummy job is that it keeps me laughing all day . . .Go on, Mr. Stephens. I dare you.
  DARRIN: [the eye roll] Oh, boy . . .![ Darrin swings and the ball goes sailing. They both stare watching the o. s. flight of the ball.] [whispering] Did you see that? [he tees up another ball quickly].
  JESS: [pleading] Don’t do it Mr. Stephens. It was an accident. Go home before you break your heart.
  DARRIN: No, that’s the way I used to hit the ball. Get out of the way! [Darrin hits another ball. It hits the 250 yard marker] I’ve got it back! I’ve got it! [yells] I’ve got it! Hey, what’s all the quiet? Let’s hear it from the birds. [the birds start to sing] That’s more like it! [then exited] Let me try my one-iron! If I can hit with that, I can hit with anything!
  He takes his one-iron, quickly takes a stance and swings. The club head glows and the ball takes off] Like a bullet! Beautiful! [happily, frantic] Nine-iron! Where’s my nine-iron? [He takes the nine iron, the club head glows and another beautiful shot takes off].
• Episode: The above scene is entirely cut.

Tate’s Office:

• Script: Joe cannot be seen. He is behind the desk doing push-ups.
• Episode: Joe is doing loosening exercises.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: I intend to give you a god run for your money, Joe. [Joe smiles patronizingly]
  JOE: I like to hear that kind of spirit. Maybe you can make me stretch myself a little.
  DARRIN: I was captain of the golf team at Missouri a long time - - uh- not so long ago. I just might take you. [Joe doesn’t like the sound of this - -he likes competition, but he doesn’t like to even think of losing to anybody]
• Episode: All except Darrin’s first line are cut.
  
  
• Script: [As Joe leaves, Larry turns back and catches Darrin in a tremendous yawn].
  LARRY: Darrin, do me a favor - -Go home and take a nap this afternoon, will you.
  DARRIN: A nap? Who needs it?! I am going out and play another brilliant nine holes.
• Episode: This bit is cut.

ACT II

Club Dining Room:

• Script:
  LARRY: [overdoing it] Gee, Joe - -what happened? Go on! What did you do?
  MARGARET: [picking it up] Well, fellas, I started scrambling - -I made my way toward the middle of the field - -.
  JOE: All right, Margaret . . .
  LARRY: Come on Joe, what did you do?
• Episode: [They are at a table poolside] All but Larry’s first line are cut.

Golf Course:

• Script: Darrin, Larry, and Joe walk up to the tee for the fourth hole.
• Episode: “Fourth” is changed to “eleventh”.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: [happily] How about that! Joe, I never thought I’d take a single hole from you, and here I am only three down.
  LARRY: Don’t give him anymore tips, Joe. He’s taking advantage of your kindness.
  JOE: I don’t mind. Anybody can put together three good shots occasionally and get a birdie . . .It’s your honor Stephens’.. . . .[Behind them we see Darrin’s clubs glow for a moment.
• Episode: After Darrin’s lines, the rest is cut including the glow from the clubs.
  
  
• Script:
  JOE: I like that one. [Larry looks over to Joe with a big smile]
  LARRY: I’d welcome any suggestions, Joe.
  JOE: Just swing a little easier, Larry.
  LARRY: Thanks, Joe!
  DARRIN: And one thing I’ve found out - - -you’ve got to keep your heels planted firmly.
  LARRY: Yes, yes.
• Episode: After Darrin’s first lines, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script: [The three men start off] Margaret turns to Samantha]
  MARGARET: Samantha, I have a feeling something is going to happen!
  SAMANTHA: [private smile] I wouldn’t be surprised.
  MARGARET: [pointing dramatically] Follow those men!
• Episode: This bit is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  MARGARET: What a beautiful funeral!
  JOE: Knock it off Margaret.
  MARGARET: [to Samantha] Joe always says he can tell a lot about people by the way they accept defeat. [Joe glares at Margaret]
  DARRIN: How about that shot, Sam? Didn’t I tell you I was playing great? [to Joe] You know the reason I’m so happy about this is that I doubt if I’ve played twenty times in the last ten years. Do you get out much, Joe?
  MARGARET: [smiles] All the time!
• Episode: After Joe’s line, the rest of the lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin hits the ball and it slices to the right]
  JOE: [happily] I’m afraid you’re slicing yourself right into trouble. [Samantha blows softly through her lips, the treetops bend as if a sudden gust of wind had hit them, and the ball begins a wide arc toward the fairway. The ball rolls to a stop then starts up and rolls further down the fairway.
  DARRIN: How about that! It straightened itself right out. [to Samantha] I played some “top” on the ball and look at the great roll it took
  SAMANTHA: That’s some roll all right. [Joe goes to tee up].
  DARRIN: I’m playing even better now than in my college days. Do you suppose it’s because I’m more mature?
  LARRY: Or do you suppose it’s because you’re shot in the pants with luck?
  JOE: [irked] Do you mind?
  DARRIN: Forgive me Joe, but one last thing. I noticed on that last shot you were over-swinging. [Joe glares at him, then hits an apparently good drive]. Great! Great! You see - -I was right!
  JOE: [furious] Thank you!
  DARRIN: Any time Joe, any time.
• Episode: The ball slices to the right. Samantha TWITCHES and the ball turns back to the fairway more like it bounced off a tree limb. The part about the ball rolling further on is cut. Darrin’s line about playing better than his college days is cut. After Joe’s, “Do you mind”. The rest of the scene is cut.
  
  
• Script: [Larry has dropped Darrin’s ball into a can]
  JOE: You’ll play it right where it lies.
  DARRIN: I can’t see the flag from here. Would you go up and give me a line? LARRY: Just hit it!
  JOE: [savagely] I’ll hold the flag.
  LARRY: [calls after Joe] I’ll see that he doesn’t kick it out of the can, Joe.
  DARRIN: What club do you use for a tin can shot? [shrugs] My putter. Why not?
  JOE: [yelling] Come on, come on! Hit it!
• Episode: After Joe’s first line, the rest of the bit is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  JOE: [to Darrin] It’s in the cup. That makes us even, doesn’t it.
  DARRIN: [apologetic] Dead even.
  LARRY: [aside] Or just plain dead.
  JOE: [nods] You don’t play a lot of golf?
  DARRIN: A couple of times a year [adds] I’m sorry, Joe, but I did put in a little practice for this game.
  JOE: [burning] No need to apologize! Let’s get to the next tee!
• Episode: After Joe’s first line, the rest of the scene is cut and replaced with:
  LARRY: Look, Joe, under these extraordinary circumstances I think the only fair thing to do is play the hole over.
  JOE: Tate, the only thing I resent more than his dumb luck is your patronizing attitude.
  
  
• Script: After Joe misses his last shot on the 18th hole, he picks up his bag of clubs and throws them into a water hazard.
• Episode: Joe carries his golf bag to the clubhouse and throws it into the swimming pool.
  
  
• Script:
  LARRY:  . . .Your smart attitude with a man who is a fine sportsman.
  DARRIN: Now just a minute Larry . . .
• Episode: Added is Larry handing Joe his putter, which Joe also throws into the swimming pool. One of the golf club workers takes the 18th green flag from Larry with, “Do you mind?”
  
  
• Script: JOE: I’ve always said you can learn a lot about a man from the way he accepts defeat. But I never figured I’d be learning a lot about me . . .Lets go back to the clubhouse and celebrate my losing a game, and winning some fine business associates.
• Episode: Beginning with, “Let’s go back . . .” the rest is cut and replaced with, “Winner buys at the 19th hole”. Added is Joe and Darrin discussing how to play a can trick shot as they head to the clubhouse.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: SAMANTHA: And a Darrin Stephens hat . . .size ten and a half! [as he turns, puzzled] I have to tell you, you didn’t get your game back. My mother gave it to you.
• Episode: “I have to tell you------“ is cut.
  
  
• Script: Darrin says the ball was in a can of noodlesoup.
• Episode: “Noodlesoup” is changed to “Peanut Brittle”.
  
  
• Script: Samantha TWITCHES and her coat flies over and settles around her shoulders. They both laugh at the FADE OUT.
• Episode: The laughing is omitted and replaced with:
  DARRIN: Sam!
  SAMANTHA: So sue me! It was worth it. [They embrace into the FADEOUT].

# 115, The Safe and Sane Halloween

REVIEWER’S NOTE: The original script is both way too long [47 pages as opposed to the average 38] and overly complicated. It features two main themes and a sub-theme. One theme is built around Tabatha, her supernatural friends and her trick-or-treating. The second theme is about Mr. Symington of the Symington Soap Company, his “sudsy” soap, and Larry’s efforts to get his account. The Sub theme is Endora’s efforts to get Samantha to come with her to a coven. The episode is considerably simplified and shortened by dropping Mr. Symington, his wife Helen, and Endora from the cast. This reduces the episode to only the Tabatha theme.

TEASER

Tabatha’s Nursery:

• Script: Samantha reads Tabatha a Hallowe’en story about a ghost, a goblin, and a Jack O’Lantern. The spelling of Hallowe’en is unusual, but is consistent throughout the script.
• Episode: Throughout the episode the term “ghost” is replaced with “gremlin” and the character is a gremlin.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN [sitting with Samantha] It will be her first time.
  SAMANTHA: [smiles] Mine too. [holds up costume] I can’t wait to see how she looks.
  DARRIN: After trick-or-treating, Mommy and Daddy are going to spend a quiet evening at home . . .just the two of us. [suspicious] Aren’t we? Or are we?
  SAMANTHA: [kisses him on the cheek] Do you want me to put it in writing?
  DARRIN: What?
  SAMANTHA: That for the first time in their married life, Samantha Stephens, party of the first part, and Darrin Stephens, party of the second part, are going to spend a normal, mortal Hallowe’en at home, and that the party of the first party is looking forward to it.
• Episode: After Samantha’s, “I can’t wait to see how she looks”, the rest of the scene is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: What about your mother?
  SAMANTHA: I told her I wasn’t going to the coven and that was that.
  DARRIN: Beautiful. [cocks his head upstairs] Did you hear something?
  SAMANTHA: Where?
  DARRIN: [pointing upstairs] From the party of the third part.
  SAMANTHA: [resumes sewing] Uh uh. She’s fast asleep. You saw. [The scene shifts to Tabatha’s Nursery where Tabatha stands in her crib with the three spooks, all child size, from the book standing around her.
• Episode: [The above scene is cut and replaced with:]
  DARRIN: What about your mother? Where is she?
  SAMANTHA: She’s hiding out in the south of France until this Hallowe’en thing blows over
  DARRIN: That makes it official. A normal, mortal Hallowe’en. [The scene shifts to Tabatha’s Nursery where she stands on her dresser and leads the spooks in ring-around-the-rosy. This is the first time the spooks appear in the script. In the episode a scene is added earlier, before Darrin and Samantha can get downstairs, where Tabatha picks the spooks out of the book].

ACT I

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Samantha and Endora are in the kitchen. Samantha is counting out candies to go into trick-or-treat bags. Endora prates on about what is going to go on at the coven and what she will wear. Samantha ignores her. Finally Endora ZAPS herself into a very chic Balenciaga afternoon suit]
  ENDORA: Like it?
  SAMANTHA: It’s lovely, Mother. Did you copy it yourself?
  ENDORA: I never copy. This is the original. [laughs] Some scrawny model is probably standing in front of a Paris audience at this very moment in nothing but a slip. [As the scene continues, Endora reminds Samantha that as Queen she is presenting the witch-of-the-year award. Samantha answers that she is exercising her divine right of royalty with, “We do not wish to attend”. Samantha then tells Endora that she is taking Tabatha trick-or-treating. Endora is horrified. The scene shifts to Tabatha’s Nursery where she and the spooks are again playing ring-around-the-rosy. Back in the kitchen, Endora is still trying. She ZAPS a beautiful gown onto Samantha. With Samantha’s absolute NO!, Endora expresses her displeasure and POPS out. The scene again shifts to the nursery where Tabatha and the spooks are seated on the floor and Tabatha is passing out toys. Tabatha hears Samantha coming up the steps, hustles the spooks into the closet and gets back into bed, pretending to be asleep.
• Episode: This entire scene [3 ½ pages of script] is completely cut.

Larry’s Office:

• Script: [Present are Larry, Darrin, and Mr. Symington, president of Symington Soap company, manufacturers of “Sudsy Soap”. Mr. Symington is described as a small, dour, rather dyspeptic looking man. This is their first meeting. Symington quickly points out that he takes his soap seriously. He also asks Darrin what day it is, and is upset when Darrin says, “Tuesday”, rather than, “Hallowe’en”. Symington has no use for Hallowe’en, and doesn’t mind telling everyone in sight about his feelings toward the holiday. Darrin says that he and Samantha are going to spend a quiet evening at home. Larry jumps on this, inviting Symington and his wife to join he and Louise at the Stephens’ house. Larry will not let Darrin get a word in edgewise that he was planning on going trick-or-treating with Tabatha, before spending the rest of the evening quietly.
• Episode: This entire scene [3 pages of script] is cut.

Kravitz Living Room:

• Script:
  TOMMY: I’m not sweetness, and I wanna go out and play.
  GLADYS: Abner, did you hear what I said?
• Episode: [Between Tommy and Gladys’ lines are added:]
  ABNER: Gladys, get away from that window.
  GLADYS: Why?
  ABNER: Maybe somebody will throw a rock at you.
  GLADYS: Who?
  ABNER: Me, if you don’t get away from that window.
  
  
• Script:
  GLADYS: [delighted] Oh, Abner, he’s got my intuition.
  ABNER: Gladys, for once in your life, couldn’t you resist the urge to snoop?
• Episode: [Abner’s line is changed:]
  ABNER: I hope not because one crazy person in the house is enough.

Stephens’ Entry Hall:

• Script: [Samantha has put the grocery bags on the hall table. Gladys, with Tommy, is peeking into them. Samantha enters, moving down the stairs. Gladys jumps when Samantha speaks:]
  SAMANTHA: Hi, Mrs. Kravitz. I was just putting Tabatha down for her afternoon nap. I guess I didn’t hear you knock.
  TOMMY: She didn’t knock.
  GLADYS: [a bit non-plussed] I didn’t mean to barge in . . .the door was open…this is my nephew, Tommy. [The conversation continues around Gladys’ idea that people like Samantha shouldn’t be allowed out on Hallowe’en. Gladys finally asks if Samantha thinks Tommy’s costume is authentic. Samantha’s reply is that most of the Jack O’Lanterns she has ever seen were in the dead of night and it was hard to see them. She invites Gladys into the kitchen while she fills candy bags.
• Episode: The entire scene is cut:

Stephens’ Stairs and Landing intercut with Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha and Gladys go into the kitchen. There are three separate scenes of Tommy sneaking up the stairs to find out what is causing the noise coming from Tabatha’s room. Finally, the door opens and the gremlin or goblin sticks his head out, face to face with Tommy, who runs from the house screaming for Abner.
• Episode: These scenes are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Samantha and Gladys carry on a conversation about trick-or-treating, with Samantha saying it will be Tabatha’s first time. Gladys keeps trying to put a double meaning to everything Samantha says. Finally Gladys gets blunt about her feelings:]
  Gladys: Mrs. Stephens, I’m going to be blunt. I don’t think . . .you people . . should be out tonight.
  SAMANTHA: [bland] What do you mean, Mrs. Kravitz?
  GLADYS: You know!
  SAMANTHA: I don’t know at all. We have as much right to go trick-or-treating as anyone else.
  GLADYS: You can do it any time. Can’t you leave the rest of us alone for one night?
  SAMANTHA: Mrs. Kravitz, I don’t have the slightest idea what you are talking about.
  GLADYS: You can’t fool me, Mrs. Stephens. I’ve been on to you for a long time.
  SAMANTHA: Why, Mrs. Kravitz, whatever do [she DISAPPEARS] you mean by “I’ve been on [she REAPPEARS] to you for a long time?”
  GLADYS: [Gladys screams in stark terror] Aaaaaagh!!! [Then they both hear Tommy scream from upstairs and run to find out what the problem is. They get to the entry hall in time to see Tommy run out of the house heading for the Kravitz’s house, screaming for Abner.] Sweetness, wait. Tell Aunt Gladys, Uncle Abner won’t believe you!
  SAMANTHA: [looking after them] Well, that’s a switch. [Samantha goes up to Tabatha’s room. The spooks are hiding in the closet and Tabatha appears to be asleep]
• Episode: The above scenes are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha and Tabatha are ready to go out. Samantha adjusts Tabatha’s witch’s cape:]
  DARRIN: Honey, I’m just sick about Symington and Larry fouling up our evening. But I couldn’t help it. Larry wants that account.
  SAMANTHA: Darling, we both know . . .business is business.
• Episode: Tabatha wears a leopard costume. Darrin’s lines are changed to,” Honey, I’m just sick about Larry fouling up our trick or treating. But I couldn’t help it.

Stephens’ Entry Hall:

• Script:
  DARRIN: And Sam . . .if they come before you get back, try to sneak Tabatha in quietly. I’d just as soon Symington didn’t know you’d been out trick- or-treating.
  SAMANTHA: He sounds like the Hallowe’en version of Scrooge.
  DARRIN: He is . . .and he takes Symington Soap very seriously. [Sam has opened the door] [to Tabatha] Bye, sweetie. Have a good time, and get lots of goodies.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

ACT II

Kravitz House:

• Script: Tommy: [in a Jack O’Lantern suit that is a dead ringer for the spook Jack O’Lantern] [pointing straight ahead] I want to go over there first.
  GLADYS: No, sweetness. We’re not going anywhere near that place tonight.
  TOMMY: Uncle Abner says the thing that scared me was a mask or something. Well, I want to go over there and scare it! [As they move down the street away from the Stephens’ house, Larry, Louise. Symington and his wife arrive and enter the house].
• Episode: Tommy’s last line is changed to, “I want to go play with them”. Gladys has the line added, “Don’t argue with Aunt Gladys”. The arrival of the Tate’s and Symington’s is cut.

Robinson House:

• Script: Tommy is running ahead of Gladys. He spots the spook who scared him earlier and runs to join him behind the bushes. He kicks one of the spooks in the shin, and in answer the two spooks pull him down into the bushes. The Jack O’Lantern spook grabs Tommy’s bag and runs out from behind the bushes and into Gladys who takes hold of him thinking it is Tommy.
• Episode: Tommy joins the spooks, but does not fight with them. Instead, he takes off his mask and has a line added about, “Don’t give me away. We’ll play a trick on Aunt Gladys”. The spook Jack O’Lantern then comes out of the bushes and joins Gladys.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha has POPPED herself, the two spooks and Tommy into the kitchen.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script: Darrin is giving the Symington’s a tour of the house. He sees the spooks in the kitchen and cuts off the tour, saying that Samantha wouldn’t want anyone to see her kitchen unless it was spotless. Symington asks where Samantha is, saying he wants to meet her. Darrin tells him [loud enough for Samantha to hear] that she is visiting sick friends and will be along any minute. Samantha joins the group and shortly excuses herself to check on Tabatha.
• Episode: The above scene is cut and replaced with: Samantha has POPPED the spooks into Tabatha’s room. She asks Tabatha to put them back in the book Tabatha refuses, saying she wants to play with them. Darrin calls, Samantha says she will be right down. He calls back that he is bringing Larry and Louise up to see Tabatha’s costume. Samantha tells the spooks to behave, Tommy takes off his mask and says he isn’t a spook, and he wants his Aunt Gladys. Samantha heads off a confrontation between Larry and the spooks and get Larry, Louise and Darrin [who has now found out about the spooks] back downstairs.

Kravitz House:

• Script: [The spook floats his head up and around to Gladys.
  GLADYS: Ahhhhhgh!!! Abner. Abner, come quick. Abner . . .something’s happened to Tommy. He’s . . .he’s a monster.
  ABNER: [unimpressed] Naturally, he’s from your side of the family.
• Episode:
  GLADYS: Ahhhhhhgh!!! Abner. Abner, come quick. Something’s happened to Tommy. He’s . . .he’s lost his head.
  ABNER: [Entering with a sandwich - unimpressed] Naturally, you’ve lost your mind.
  GLADYS: How can you eat at a time like this?
  ABNER: Easy, I’m hungry.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: A child’s scream is heard. Everyone reacts. Samantha POPS directly from Tabatha’s room to the kitchen. Darrin says probably just trick-or-treaters. Symington goes off on another of his anti-Hallowe’en tirades, with his wife, Helen, trying to calm him down.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Tommy’s mask is off. The two spooks are tormenting him. Samantha recognizes Tommy and realizes that the other Jack O’Lantern is one of the spooks. Samantha orders the two spooks to leave Tommy alone. She exits to the dining room. The two spooks immediately begin picking on Tommy again.]
• Episode: The above is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Symington wants to know how Samantha got to the kitchen. She says she came down the back stairs. Symington and Samantha get into a spat over trick-or-treaters. He is very upset to find she doesn’t agree with him 100%. Gladys bursts in looking for Tommy. In explaining the mix up of the Jack O’Lanterns, Samantha lets it slip that she had the children out trick-or-treating. Symington blows his lid over this and prepares to leave. Larry tells Darrin this is going to cost them the soap account. Darrin tries to explain to Symington. Symington continues his tirade. The spooks dash in from the kitchen, begin to run around the living room. Symington tells Samantha she should be ashamed of herself. This sets Darrin off. Symington tells the spooks to get away from him and, ”go pin the tail on the donkey”. He is rewarded with a set of donkey ears, courtesy on one of the spooks. Helen reacts. Samantha TWITCHES, and the donkey ears disappear. The other spook makes Symington bray like a donkey.]
  SAMANTHA: [sotto, to Darrin] What do you think?
  DARRIN: [also low] Leave it in. It sings. {As Symington goes out the door, Samantha ZAPS a tail on him]
  LARRY: [to Darrin] Am I going batty, or did he have a tail on him?
  DARRIN: It just looked like it. Shall we go after him?
  LARRY: [a beat] Forget it. Who wants a donkey for a client.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script: [Samantha has the two spooks in tow. The third runs into the scene and Samantha grabs him too.
  SAMANTHA: Good we’ll get rid of all three at once. [calls] Mother! [no response] Mother!!! [Endora POPS in wearing a resplendent ball gown]
  ENDORA: Samantha . . .don’t think you can disappoint me the way you did this morning and then just expect me to pop in when you need me.
  SAMANTHA: Mother . . . .Tabatha brought these things to life from a story book. Can you get them back?
  ENDORA: Well . . .I don’t know. There’s still time for you to attend the ball, you know.
  SAMANTHA: No blackmail, Mother [She lets the spooks go and they immediately swarm Endora who yelps, and almost as a reflex POPS the spooks out.] Thank you, Mother. You can go back to the ball now. [Endora POPS out]
• Episode: This scene is cut

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script:
  GLADYS: Abner, she changed Tommy into a goat. Have her arrested.
  ABNER: Gladys, if you don’t stop, I’ll have you arrested, or committed.
  GLADYS: If you don’t believe me, look! [Before Abner can look, Samantha turns the goat back into Tommy.
  SAMANTHA: [enters from the patio] I sent the other children home.
  GLADYS: Abner, if you don’t believe me, this time, I promise I’ll never speak to you again. [Abner grabs her arm and Tommy’s hand and begins dragging them toward the door.]
  ABNER: You heard her. You heard what she said. This time I got Witnesses.
  GLADYS: Abner!!!
  ABNER: Ah. Ah… you promised.
• Episode: This scene is cut. [Samantha turns Tommy back to himself while he is in the kitchen. After Samantha turns Tommy back, she POPS herself and the spooks to Tabatha’s room where Tabatha puts the two spooks back in the book. When Tommy comes out of the kitchen the lines are:]
  TOMMY: I want to go home.
  GLADYS: Me, too. And I’ll take some of my medicine. [The Jack O’Lantern enters from the patio.]
  LARRY: There’s that Jack O’Lantern back again. [Samantha POPS the Jack O’Lantern out before anyone else sees it. Everyone looks at Larry. Louise asks for his drink glass saying he has had too much medicine.

TRAILER

Tabatha’s Room:

• Script: Darrin enters and looks at the sleeping Tabatha. He picks up a book that has the bear missing from the cover. He calls Samantha.
• Episode: Darrin and Samantha enter the nursery together. [Before Darrin sees the book, lines are added:]
  DARRIN: There’s nothing like a nice quiet normal, mortal Hallowe’en.
  SAMANTHA: I’m sorry. But at least Louise is happy. Larry’s on the wagon.

# 118, Allergic to Macedonian Dodo Birds

REVIEWER’S NOTE: The script’s original title was, “Allergic to Ancient Macedonian Road Runners”.

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Tabatha shows a color reproduction of a Van Gogh painting]
  SAMANTHA: [maternal pride} Darling, it’s beautiful.
  TABATHA: Thank you.
• Episode: The lines are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: - - -such a mortal!
  SAMANTHA: Mother, [a] to coin a phrase, get rid if it.
• Episode: The line after [a] is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: That’s peculiar. Samantha, you try. [Samantha flicks her fingers and the painting disappears]
  TABATHA: [a] I want my Van Gogh.
  SAMANTHA: We’ll buy you a print. [b] Mother, are you all right?
• Episode: The lines between [a] and [b] are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: - -Mother, you have a pooped popper. [a] Try something basic. Like lifting that ash tray.
  ENDORA: [Endora tries to lift the ash tray and fails] I can’t do it! I can’t do anything! I’ve lost my powers completely!
• Episode: The action and lines after [a] are cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Guest Bedroom:

• Script: SAMANTHA: Darrin, that’s not funny. [She does a witch twitch and the door slams in Darrin’s face]
• Episode: Samantha uses a door slamming arm motion [as she does when mad] and the door slams.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin and Samantha enter]
  SAMANTHA: Mother, Darrin insists that you stay here overnight.
  ENDORA: [not fooled] I’ll bet.
  SAMANTHA: [brightly] All right, you bet while I get you another cold towel. [Samantha exits with towel. [a] Darrin looks Endora up and down with a smug expression]
  ENDORA: Why are you looking at me like that?
  DARRIN: Like what?
  ENDORA: Like you’re pleased I’ve lost my powers.