#
1, The Pilot - I, Darrin, Take This
Witch, Samantha
Originally in the script, Darrin's last name was
Douglas. Samantha was named Cassandra. Her script cues are "Cass". Endora
was not named, but was called "Mother" when spoken to, and in all of
the script cues.
Scene Outside Department Store:
- Script: The scene starts inside
the store.
- Episode: The narration starts
with Samantha outside the department store.
- Script: Calls for Darrin and
Samantha to bump inside the store where she looks back at him and
he "sizes her up" as she walks away.
- Episode: Omitted.
Scene Inside Department Store:
- Episode: Darrin and Samantha
collide going through a revolving door in the episode. This is their
first of three collisions.
- Script: This is their fourth
bump, including one where she drops packages and he helps her pick
them up. This is omitted from the episode.
Courtship:
- Script: Calls for seven kissing
scenes.
- Episode: There are five. The
cut scenes are in a car at night, and at the movies.
- Script:
In the necking scene in the park, the script calls for
a used car commercial.
- Episode: But the episode has
background music.
- Script:
In the train scene, the script calls for action to continue till cars
behind begin honking.
- Episode: The episode does not
show this.
- Script: Calls for a "Just Married"
sign on a car driving away.
- Episode: Shows only the ring
being placed on the finger.
Hotel Suite:
- Script: Calls for Samantha to
be wearing a gown only and has her robe fly to her on command, and
then moves her hairbrush to her.
- Episode: She is already wearing
the robe, and only calls the brush to her.
End of teaser
End of narration
Hotel Suite:
- Script: After Endora appears
she threatens to give Darrin a stomach ache.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Endora makes a comment
about Samantha being only 18, and had barely learned to fly before
she was allowed to stay out after sunrise. Another comment is made
about Samantha disgracing the family by marrying a mortal. There is
also a scene with Darrin trying to open a window.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Spell is "One Re or
Re Ickery Ann, Phillison, Follison, Nicholas John".
- Episode: The spell is slightly
different and longer. View this Spell in Spellbound!
- Script: The cigarette lighter/ash
tray bit is short, and is in two parts, the latter being after Darrin
collapses.
- Episode: The ash tray bit is
extended quite a bit and is done on one part. The line "I’m from Missouri..."
does not appear in the script.
- Script: Darrin downs the drink
in one gulp and sets the glass down.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
ask Samantha to move the ashtray again.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
suggest a marriage counselor.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script:
calls for a fadeout through the window with a cat.
- Episode: Omitted.
Apartment Kitchen:
- Script: Samantha is trying to
bake a cake. She does not’t know how. Endora comes in. She dens’t
know what a telephone or dishwasher are. Samantha does not know how
to work a can opener.
- Episode: The entire scene is
cut, but a version of it is used in episode # 2.
Apartment Living Room:
- Script: Endora reads a science
fiction magazine and wonders where the writers come up with all this
drivel.
- Episode: Omitted.
Apartment Kitchen:
- Script: Samantha and Endora
can’t figure out the dishwasher. Darrin calls to tell Samantha about
the dinner. Darrin tries to explain what kind of a friend Sheila is
to him.
- Episode: This entire scene is
cut from episode.
Sheila’s house:
For the entire dinner table scene, the script refers
to "Sam", then goes back to "Cass" for the rest of the episode.
- Script: As they arrive, Darrin
cautions Samantha about "no witchcraft." Samantha and Sheila shake
hands. Darrin asks, in a whisper, if Samantha wants to get a headache
and cut out.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Episode: Adds the segment about
the butler taking Samantha’s sweater.
- Episode: Adds the entire scene
with the wind blowing the door open and Sheila losing her wig.
TRAILER
- Script: More dialog, including
a line about it being easier going to an Italian restaurant.
- Episode: Adds a line about
"which witch is which".
- Script: Samantha starts to wash
dishes, then breaks one.
- Episode: Omitted.
#
2, Be It Ever So Mortgaged
TEASER
Stephens's Rented Kitchen:
- Script: Calls for the same kitchen
as used in the pilot to be used. Calls for Samantha to make a mess
with the orange juice, and burn the eggs.
- Episode: The pilot kitchen is
not used. Samantha's hair is a mess giving her a harried look. Added
is burning two pieces of toast, and catching two pans on fire which
she douses in the sink. The remainder of the scene follows the script
with the line by Darrin, "Doesn't that look good?", added at the end
of the scene.
- Script: Narration is word for
word as in the script, except:
- Episode: The script calls for
the narrator to say "Connecticut housewife" [Conn. misspelled the
first time], the narrator says "Suburban housewife."
End of teaser
Stephens's Rented Kitchen:
- Script: Calls for the use of
a sequence already produced for the pilot. Samantha separating eggs,
adding them to the Mixmaster, which promptly sprays Samantha with
batter. Samantha screams and Endora appears and magically cleans the
kitchen and Samantha.
- Episode: This sequence is not
used at all. The episode starts with Samantha icing the cake.
- Script: Calls for Endora to
be thumbing through a fashion magazine.
- Episode: Endora is flipping
through Harpies Bizarre.
- Script: Calls for Endora to
decorate the cake to include a latticework covered with soft drapes
and cooing doves.
- Episode: Cake decorating ends
with columns and omit the lattice and doves.
- Script: Calls for a conversation
between Samantha and Endora right after the "No wonder they can't
fly" line where Endora calls Samantha a scullery maid, buried in responsibility,
and notes that Darrin has already made her "possessions" conscious.
Samantha replies that cooking for Darrin is a pleasure. The discussion
ends before the "You've changed Samantha" line.
- Episode: This discussion is
cut.
- Script: After Samantha's line
"Darrin wants to meet you", Endora asks why she wasn't invited to
the wedding. Seems she always wanted to see Samantha in black, whereupon
Samantha informs her that humans wear white. Samantha also admits
that she was responsible for not inviting Endora, she wanted to work
up to the meeting of Endora and Darrin gradually; to which Endora
replies: "Halloween, I suppose".
- Episode: This scene is cut entirely
and picks up when Darrin arrives home.
Stephens's Rented Living Room:
- Script: Calls for cuts to Endora
mugging Darrin's appearance.
- Episode: Some of the mugging
shots are cut and others added. In all there are more in the episode
than in the script. After Darrin's line' "You were friendlier on our
first date", an added cut is made to Endora who gasps and then mouths
"Sam - an - tha!", before Samantha's reply, "I was not".
- Script: Darrin has a line, "I
went out to look at a new development a client of ours is building--"
- Episode: "a client of ours is
building--" is cut.
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
take a brochure from his briefcase that describes the house.
- Episode: Darrin takes a single
page of paper from his shirt pocket. After Samantha's line "Nose to
the grindstone", there is a cut added of Endora making motions indicating
the use of a grindstone.
- Script: As Samantha prepares
to leave the room, the script calls for Darrin to pick up his drink,
and after the Endora-Samantha laughing scene to return to his drink.
- Episode: Darrin holds the paper
describing the house, and returns to looking at it. His drink is never
seen.
Stephens's Rented Living Room (the next morning):
- Script: After Darrin leaves,
the script calls for Samantha to grimace angrily and say, "He most
certainly is not!" There is no explanation for this line, unless it
can be taken from Endora's following line about Darrin being pigeon-toed.
There follows a conversation where Endora accuses Samantha of being
blind to any of Darrin's faults and Samantha's defense of Darrin being
pigeon-toed. This conversation continues up to the point where Samantha
and Endora go to the kitchen.
- Episode: This entire scene is
cut.
Stephens's Rented Kitchen:
- Script: As Samantha and Endora
prepare to leave, Endora opens the broom closet and takes out a broom.
- Episode: Endora zaps the broom
out of the closet.
Outside 1164 (front of house):
- Script: At the point where Endora
says, "It's not for you", the scene cuts to the Kravitz living room.
- Episode: The cut to the Kravitz's
is not made until after Endora's line, "You are a witch, Samantha,
not a magician.
- Script: Calls for "beds of flowers
in various areas" just before the trees are added. The script calls
for Endora to add several small trees on one side, and a large one
on the other. Samantha says,"You don't need hedges on that side",
and the hedge does not disappear on one side. Next Samantha has a
line about spacing the flower beds further apart, and does so.
- Episode: Window boxes are added
in addition to the flower beds. Samantha makes all of the hedge disappear.
Samantha does not respace the flower beds. There is only one tree
put on each side. The bit about adding the awnings is added.
Kravitz's Living Room:
- Script: Conversation about dirt
across the street and Gladys taking her medicine is before Samantha
and Endora go in the house.
- Episode. This scene is moved
to after Samantha and Endora go into the house. The second scene in
the Kravitz living room is also moved to later after Samantha says,"This
is a lovely living room".
Interior 1164 Living Room:
- Script: Endora kicks off her
shoes and says,"That's the worst pair of shoes I've ever created".
- Episode: This line is missing.
- Script: As Samantha adds furniture,
she adds ,"and chairs over there---", after she adds the buffet. NOTE:
There is a note in the script that the set decorator should be consulted
about the furnishings and every piece should appear as Samantha mentions
it, "Until the room is completely furnished".
- Episode: The furnishing stops
with the buffet.
Exterior of the front of 1164:
- Script: Calls several times
for gladys to peek in the front door both when the living room is
furnished and when it is not.
- Episode: Gladys looks out the
front window, not the door.
Living Room of 1164:
- Script: As Endora prepares
to leave, she says," Do you mind if I run along?"
- Episode: Endora says, "Do you
mind if I fly along?" NOTE: The word "run" is crossed
out and the word "fly" is hand written in in the script that belonged
to Agnes Moorehead.
TRAILER
Exterior front of 1164:
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
carry a rolled "Sold" sign and paste it over the for sale sign.
- Episode: Darrin has flat sign
with a chain that he hangs on the for sale sign. NOTE:
The same For Sale sign is used in a later episode in front of 1162.
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
pick up Samantha, carry her through the door, and kick it closed.
- Episode: Darrin and Samantha
kiss, and arm in arm they start through the door.
NOTE: In general, there are numerous one and two
word variations throughout the script and episode in conversations between
Darrin/Samantha/ Endora. However, the script and episode are nearly
word for word for the dialogue between the Kravitz's.
#
4, It Shouldn't Happen to a Dog
In several of the early episodes the teaser (examples
are 6 and 10)
bears no relation to the theme of the episode. Cute little bits, but
none the less without meaning and apparently fill ins to make up for
a short episode. The script for this episode contains a teaser that
does not bear with the episode, and this script teaser is not used.
SCRIPT TEASER
Interior of a Bus:
Samantha is seated next to a small boy listening to his
hard luck story.
BOY: I couldn't have felt worse if my dog got run over.
Six months I saved up -- I'm in the store drooling -- I reach in my
pocket -- and zingo!!
SAMANTHA: The money was gone . . .
BOY: (nods sadly) I wanted them jaw breakers so bad I could taste them.
SAMANTHA: Maybe I could help.
BOY: (knowing she can't) Sure . . .(He turns away sadly and stares out
the window.) (Samantha wiggles her nose and a small white carton of
jaw-breakers materializes under the seat)
SAMANTHA: Don't be so sad. The man who just got off left a whole box
of jaw-breakers. . .
BOY: You think that's funny? To tease a little kid?
SAMANTHA: I'm not teasing. Look under the seat. ( The boy looks under
the seat. He flips open the lid if the carton and sees the gross of
tempting jaw-breakers. He's in heaven. Samantha looks on and smiles.
BOY: (joyfully) Hey!! ( He unwraps one and shoves it in his mouth)
SAMANTHA: That the kind you wanted?
BOY: (chewing furiously) Yeah!
SAMANTHA: They look good. Could I taste one?
BOY: He continues to chew but hugs the contents of the box to himself,
guarding his prize like a wolf guarding his young) No chance, lady.
Finders keepers! ( He gobbles the candy, Samantha shrugs, rises, pulls
the bell cord and exits scene)
END OF SCRIPT TEASER
EPISODE TEASER
Stephens' Kitchen:
- Script: Calls for Endora to
appear in a cloud of smoke and sit on the molding.
- Episode: Endora sits on a stool.
- Script: Samantha says,"What're
you doing up there. Can't you sit on chairs like other people?"
- Episode: Samantha says, " Did
you ever think of calling before you drop in?"
- Script: Calls for a discussion
between Endora and Samantha about why the party is being held at the
Stephens's. Endora is of the opinion that it benefits the agency more
than Darrin. Endora tries to talk Samantha into using magic to do
the cooking. Samantha's replies are based on the fact that she loves
Darrin.
- Episode: This scene is cut.
- Script: Samantha asks Endora
not to come to the party.
- Episode: This scene is cut.
END OF TEASER
Darrin's Office:
- Script: Rex asks if Samantha
was sore about having to do the party. Darrin replies that she was
not. Rex tells Darrin the party will give him a chance to get acquainted.
Rex says he likes to know the types he may be doing business with.
- Episode: These lines are cut.
- Script: After Darrin's line,"
I like to be honest", the lines continue with ," so if I'm going to
handle your account, I won't tell you how to make your product if
you don't tell me how to sell it".
- Episode: These lines are cut.
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
show Rex some layouts about a dessert catering to the infant with
a discriminating palate.
- Episode: This scene is cut.
Stephens's House:
- Script: The after the dinner,
part of the party is held on the patio with a wet bar set up. Reference
is made to the "Arbor" being in the background. NOTE: In all other
episodes the Arbor is referred to as the Gazebo, or summer house.
Mr. and Mrs. McMann are in attendance.
- Episode: The after dinner part
is mostly inside, including the bar. The McManns are not there.
- Script: Darrin's and Bab's discussion
ends with Darrin saying, "She's very gifted that way."
- Episode: Another line is added
with Babs saying that Rex says it would take her six weeks, etc.
- Script: Calls for Samantha to
be in the middle of a group complimenting her on the dinner, asking
about the seasoning in the casserole. Samantha says it is her mother's
idea and the herbs come from India. She adds that Endora is in South
America, but can stop by India on her way back and pick up some herbs
for Louise. [Referred to as Mrs. Tate]
- Episode: This scene is reduced
to Samantha asking Louise [not Mr. McMann, as the script calls for]
if she wants something to drink.
- Script: Rex makes no comment
as Samantha leaves the bar.
- Episode: Rex says,"Son-of-a-gun".
Stephens's Kitchen:
Stephens's Bedroom:
- Script: Calls for a conversation
between Samantha and Darrin about how the party went. This is just
before the dog starts barking. Script calls for Samantha to be wearing
a nightgown.
- Episode: This conversation is
cut. Samantha wears a nightgown and robe.
- Script: After Darrin opens
the door, the dog runs in, goes upstairs and jumps on the bed with
Samantha. A conversation follows about how the dog is taken with Samantha,
and how he reacts to the word "Rex." Darrin tries addressing the dog
by several names and gets no reaction until he says "Rex" again.
- Episode: This conversation is
cut up to the point where Samantha says, "You invited him." NOTE:
Several times during the episode the dog burps off screen, indicating
he is drunk. There are no burps in the script.
- Script: When Samantha tells
Darrin the dog is Mr. Barker, Darrin slumps on the edge of the bed.
- Episode: Darrin sits in a chair.
- Script: Following Samantha's
line, "I had to do something", Darrin says, "So you turned him into
a dog so you could put a muzzle on him? Right?" Samantha replies,"
This is no joking matter.
- Episode: Both of these lines
are cut.
- Script: After Darrin's line,
"Put something on! You're driving him crazy!, Samantha is called to
wrap herself in a blanket.
- Episode: Samantha is already
wearing a robe. She does not wrap in a blanket.
- Script: After Samantha throws
Darrin out of the bedroom and Endora appears, Endora has a line about
Darrin being a typical mortal - self-involved, opportunistic, and
vain.
- Episode: This line is deleted.
- Script: In the alley scene,
the script calls for police sirens to be heard and the police headlights
to sweep past Samantha and Rex.
- Episode: No sirens. Police car
passes alley, backs up and turns into alley.
- Script: The veterinarian's name
is Dr. Richard Jason.
- Episode: The name is Dr. David
Cook.
Corridor of Darrin's Office Building:
- Script: Samantha emerges from
the elevator with the dog on a leash. She turns the corner to get
away from people waiting for the down elevator. Samantha spots a utility
closet, puts the dog into the closet, steps back and returns him to
a man.
- Episode: Samantha carries the
dog. She is not shown avoiding a crowd. The scene is split into two
parts with her shown putting the dog into the closet after the beginning
of the scene in Darrin's office with Larry Tate.
Darrin's Office:
- Script: Larry is to ask if
Darrin called Samantha, Darrin replies he did three minutes ago. Larry
says that Rex treated him like an office boy. And that after he gets
Rex's name on a contract, he is going to have a bone to pick with
him.
- Episode: These lines are cut.
- Script: Calls for Rex to sense
Samantha's presence and start the conversation with her.
- Episode: Samantha greets Rex
first.
- Script: After Rex's line about
seeing better after dark he has the lines,"Now then -- about last
night! I didn't say anything to offend you did I?" Samantha, " Oh,
no -- not a thing". Rex," Good: All I remember really is that you
and I were having a great time and -- say, you look good enough to
neasle [this appears to be another misspelled word] with, you know
that??"
- Episode: These lines are cut.
#
6, Little Pitchers Have Big Fears
TEASER
Stephens' Front Door and Entry:
- Script and Episode:
The script and episode agree.
REVIEWERS NOTE: This is one of two episodes where the Teaser
has nothing to do with the story line of the episode. It is as if it
were used to fill up space when the episode did not run long enough.
Since Samantha's hair style is quite different in the Teaser and the
rest of the episode, it is likely that they were not filmed at the same
time.
ACT I
Stephens' Kitchen:
- Script: Waffles are used as
one of the things Marshall cannot eat.
- Episode: Uses French Toast instead
of Waffles.
Stephens' Bedroom:
- Script: Again refers to waffles.
- Episode: Again replaces waffles
with French Toast.
Ball Park:
- Script: Calls for children in
various forms of baseball uniforms to be fielding grounders, fly balls,
and other baseball activities.
- Episode: The above scene is
cut. The episode starts with the coach and batting practice.
- Script: After Samantha tells
Gladys she is here with a friend. She waves to Marshall who self-consciously
waves back.
- Episode: The above bit is cut.
- Script: Floyd Kravitz asks
the coach if he is going to let "Marshmallow Burns" try
out. The coach replies that everyone deserves a chance.
- Episode: These lines are cut.
Stephens' Entry Hall:
- Script: After Darrin tells
Samantha she can't follow Marshall around for the rest of his life,
there are the following lines:
SAMANTHA: I only tried to get him started.
DARRIN: [sarcasm] Started, eh? I suppose we're going to the game tomorrow!
SAMANTHA: Well, not if you want to play golf! I can go to by myself!
DARRIN: Oh, no! We're going together, and remember - no more nonsense!
While you've got your eye on Marshall, I've got my eye on you!
- Episode: The above lines are
cut.
Stephens' Driveway:
- Script:
MRS. BURNS: [apprehensively] You're sure you know the way?
DARRIN: Oh, absolutely.
- Episode: These lines are cut.
TRAILER
- Script and Episode:
The script and episode agree.
#
9, Witch or Wife
The episode actually begins in Darrin’s office.
Stephens Kitchen:
- Script: Samantha is on the phone
ordering groceries, including sixty cans of waxed beans (to save three
cents a can). Further dialog with Darrin about saving money, and the
problems of running a house. Finally, Darrin offers to take her to
the best restaurant in town.
- Episode: This scene is cut in
its entirety and is used in a later episode.
Stephens Bedroom:
- Script: Darrin enters late and
prepares to go to bed. Alarm goes off. Darrin is wearing an ear plug,
so Samantha will not hear the alarm.
- Episode: All of this is cut
except Darrin’s first entrance where he only looks at Samantha.
Laundry Room:
- Script: Samantha is ironing
when the phone rings.
- Episode: Omitted.
Darrin’s Office:
- Script: Darrin makes apologies
for not coming home.
- Episode: Omitted.
Stephens Kitchen:
The script first calls for Samantha to be ironing
in the laundry room, then in the kitchen.
- Script: Samantha returns to
ironing, zaps clothing ironed, has second thoughts, unzaps it, and
continues to iron.
- Episode: Omitted.
Stephens Bedroom:
- Script: Samantha wakens, Darrin
is not home at 2:00 AM.
- Episode: Omitted..
Fashion Salon:
- Script: Samantha and Endora
enter and take seats without realizing they are sitting next to the
Tates. Samantha and Endora discuss the fashions. Samantha suddenly
notices that she is sitting next to Larry. Samantha and Endora try
to sneak out, but Larry spots them half way out.
- Episode: Samantha and Endora
enter the salon and stand in the doorway discussing a dress. Samantha
spots Larry and turns to leave, but not before Larry sees her.
Restaurant:
- Script: Gives Stephens’s home
phone number as 764-8932. Darrin’s office phone number is not given.
- Episode: Stephens’s home phone
number is given as 555-6328, Darrin’s office number is given as 555-6059.
- Script: Samantha calls Darrin
"darling".
- Episode: The more common "sweetheart"
is used.
Larry’s Office:
- Script: Darrin dictates into
a machine.
- Episode: A secretary takes the
dictation.
Jetliner:
- Script: Samantha looks into
the window of two airplanes looking for Darrin. In the first airplane,
a woman sees her, screams, and faints. In the second airplane, a passenger
throws his tray of food all over.
- Episode: The second airplane
scene is cut.
Another Jetliner:
- Script: Restroom "occupied"
sign lights up and Samantha steps out.
- Episode: The sign does not light
up.
- Script: Stewardess returns
with Darrin’s meal, sees Darrin and Samantha smooching, mutters "men",
and gives the meal to someone else.
- Episode: Omitted.
#
10, Just One Happy Family
Reviewer's Note: This is the second of the two episodes that have
Teasers that have nothing to do with the plot of the episode. Also,
in this script, MAURICE is referred to as "JASON", with a
preface note that the name "JASON" will be changed to "VICTOR".
TEASER
Stephens' Living Room:
- Script: The script omits the
teaser and begins with Act I.
- Episode: A TV repairman has
taken the Stephens' TV apart and has it spread all over the living
room. Samantha says that she thought the problem was the antenna.
The repairman says he fixed that, but there are numerous other things
wrong with the TV. He asks to use the phone. Samantha directs him
to the kitchen.
Stephens' Kitchen:
- Episode: The repairman talks
on the phone, saying that he has fixed the antenna, but is pulling
a fast one to get a large repair bill for working on a TV that has
nothing wrong with it.
Stephens' Living Room:
- Episode: The repairman returns
to the Living Room to find the TV put together and working. Samantha
tells him she did it with a nail file.
ACT I
Stephens' Kitchen:
- Script: [Darrin and Samantha
discuss the new train schedule that has a train running from the city
at 10:00 PM. Samantha thinks it will make Darrin have to work late
nights again. Samantha goes to the Frigidaire. Endora is inside and
says she has to talk to Samantha.]
ENDORA: Samantha! I’ve got to speak to you.
SAMANTHA: What’s the matter?
ENDORA: I can’t talk in front of - -[she gestures toward Darrin]
- -and it is extermely urgent.
SAMANTHA: There’s nothing you can say to me that you can’t
say in front of Darrin.
- Episode: SAMANTHA: There’s
nothing you can’t say in front of me that you can’t say
in front of Darrin. After Endora says " - it is extremely urgent"
the line, "Hurry up, it’s cold in here" is added.
- Script: After Endora’s
line about Jason finding out Darrin is human, Samantha has lines about
how perhaps Jason has changed. Endora replies that he is just like
his family who did not approve of her.
- Episode: These lines are cut.
Stephens' Entry:
- Script: Samantha and Darrin
have a conversation about his being home about 8:30, and Samantha
telling him he should stay in town for dinner. She finally has to
tell him that her father is coming and that he doesn't know that Darrin
is mortal. Darrin wants to be there so they can tell Jason together.
Samantha says that she had better tell him alone, and he should stay
in town until Jason leaves.
- Episode: Most of this scene
is cut.
Stephens' Living Room:
- Script: After Endora's line,
"---He choreographs it---", the doorbell rings. As Samantha
crosses to answer it, she says her line about "standing up to
him."
- Episode: The doorbell does not
ring until after Samantha's "stand up to him" line. When
it does ring, she is startled, and worriedly goes to the door.
- Script: After Samantha tells
Jason that Darrin's last name is Stephens, Jason has the line, "Stephens?
I don't think I know the family."
- Episode: Maurice's line is changed
to: "Stephens? I don't think I have ever flown into them."
- Script: The conversation continues
about where Darrin is and when he will be home, followed by the BAR
scene.
- Episode: The scene opens in
a bar where Darrin and Larry discuss why Darrin is not going home.
The Bar scene is split into two parts in the episode with the second
part taking place after the scene where Maurice is looking at pictures
of Darrin. Part of the bar scene is cut.
- Script: After Darrin calls
Samantha and insists he is coming home, the script calls for Samantha
to twitch her nose, locking Darrin in the phone booth. This is the
only time the script calls for a nose twitch.
- Episode: The episode follows
the script. In the Teaser, the phone is in the Kitchen. Here, the
phone is on a table at the end of the sofa. Samantha takes the phone
with her to the kitchen to talk to Darrin. (There must have been quite
some cord on that phone!)
- Script: After Jason finds out
that Darrin is mortal, the script calls for Jason to sit still and
for an ash tray next to him to break, a lamp to break, and a book
to fly across the room.
- Episode: After the ash tray
breaks, Maurice gets up and moves about the room. Two lamps and other
glassware break, and several books fly across the room. Reviewer's
Note: The ash tray sits where the phone was, so we can assume Samantha
left the phone in the kitchen again.
- Script: After Jason's line,
"I'll find him," he goes outside.
- Episode: Just before Maurice's,
"I'll find him" line, he and Endora have a stare-down match
added. Maurice says she is getting stronger, Endora reminds him he
is getting older.
- Script: Jason throws the newspaper
[Darrin] into the fireplace. Samantha tries to reach the paper, but
because of the fire, she cannot reach it. She zaps the paper back
into Darrin and pops him out of the fireplace.
- Episode: Samantha pulls the
paper out of the fireplace and beats out the fire before she zaps
Darrin back.
- Script: After Samantha tries
to make Jason disappear, Endora has the lines about not being overly
fond of Darrin, but if Samantha wants him, that's good enough for
her.
- Episode: Endora's line about
"If Samantha wants him," is changed to the line about not
wanting a human on her conscience.
- Script: While trying to bring
Darrin back, Jason accidentally brings a pilgrim back. Jason concentrates
again and the pilgrim disappears.
- Episode: This bit is cut.
TRAILER
- Script: The trailer ends with
Darrin producing a bottle of Chanson du Mer '53, and Jason asking
Endora, "Is he really one of us?"
- Episode: The episode continues
with Maurice pouring drinks for all, making a farewell speech, and
exiting in a cloud of smoke. Endora has the closing line, "He
always was one for big exits."
#
11, It Takes One To Know One
SCRIPT TEASER
Int. Grocery Store Aisle
Samantha approaches the camera with a half filled grocery cart. A rakish
looking man, also with a cart, stands watching her with a lecherous
eye. As she passes he brazenly looks at her face and figure as though
she is something in "Playboy" [this is a quote from the script]. Samantha
ignores him but is annoyed by this.
Camera angle widens as Samantha goes to the bakery shelf. The man wheels
his cart up along side hers, obviously flirting. As Samantha picks up
a loaf of bread, the man smiles insinuatingly and winks at her. Samantha
smiles, her nose twitches slightly and a cream pie flies off the shelf
smacking the man full in the face. As filling drips down the face of
the astonished man, Samantha moves off.
END OF SCRIPT TEASER
- Episode: The script teaser is
not used at all. The teaser begins where ACT I starts in the script.
EPISODE TEASER
Int. Stephens's Kitchen:
- Script: Endora appears and greets
Samantha: Good morning dear.
- Episode: "Dear" is replaced
with "Darling."
- Script: Endora: Those were in
your husband's briefcase.
- Episode: Endora: Those were
in you know who's briefcase.
Script lines are:
ENDORA: Well, don't you care that he carries pictures of other women
. . . beautiful, half-dressed, well-filled out other women?
SAMANTHA: In the advertising business, Mother -- beautiful, half dressed,
well-filled out other women are merely tools of the trade. Now will
you please stop playing "private eye" with my marriage.
ENDORA: I simply have your best interests at heart, Samantha. Of course,
the possibility that he might be attracted to someone else has never
occurred to you, has it?
SAMANTHA: I never think about it.
ENDORA: Or, that you might lose him altogether.
SAMANTHA: Mother, don't you understand? I trust Darrin.
ENDORA: Blind faith is unbecoming to you Samantha.
SAMANTHA: Well, why shouldn't I trust him and believe in him?
ENDORA: Well, for the love of lightning! You wouldn't turn a child loose
in a candy store, would you?
SAMANTHA: Darrin is not a child!
ENDORA: He's only human. I mean - after all - that's their expression
for themselves - "only human". They know their limitations better than
we do!
SAMANTHA: I don't think of Darrin as being "only human". I think of
him as a cut above the ordinary mortal man!
ENDORA: How can a witch of mine be so naive? Where did I fail?
SAMANTHA: Mother, will you please go away! If there's one thing a man
does not want to see before he has his morning coffee, it's a suspicious
mother-in-law! I must say I'm not too crazy about it, either.
ENDORA: Very well. I'm leaving. But remember Samantha, no mortal pulls
the wool over a witch's eyes while I'm around. [She pops out and the
scene continues with Darrin entering]
Episode lines are:
ENDORA: Well, don't you care that he carries pictures
of other women ...
SAMANTHA: Mother, in the advertising business other women are merely
tools of the trade. ENDORA: Blind faith is unbecoming to you, Samantha.
SAMANTHA: Mother, don't you understand? I trust Darrin.
ENDORA: You wouldn't turn a child loose in a candy store, would you?
SAMANTHA: Darrin is not a child!
ENDORA: He's only human. Isn't that the excuse they always make for
themselves, "I'm only human". They know their limitations better than
we do!
SAMANTHA: I don't think of Darrin as "merely human". I think of him
as being a cut above the ordinary mortal man.
ENDORA: How can a witch of mine be so naive?
SAMANTHA: Mother, will you please go away!
ENDORA: Very well. I'm leaving. But remember, Samantha, no mortal pulls
the wool over a witches eyes while I'm around. [She pops out}
END OF EPISODE TEASER
ACT I
- Script: Darrin and Samantha
exchange greetings, before Darrin says ,"What are these doing here?"
- Episode: The greeting lines
are cut. The scene begins with Darrin already seated at the table.
Part of the conversation about Darrin looking at girls is cut.
- Script: As Darrin rises to leave,
he and Samantha move across the living room to the door. There is
a conversation about Darrin eating little breakfast, feeling faint,
and deciding to stay home. Samantha says "Nothing doing. You have
work to do, so do I. Darrin delivers the "You threw me out" line.
- Episode: They remain in the
kitchen. The scene is shortened to Darrin saying "I'd better get going."
He kisses Samantha, then makes a move to kiss her again. She stops
him and says "You better get going." Then, Darrin delivers the "You
threw me out" line.
- Script: Calls for scene to end
with Endora [who has reappeared] chiding Samantha about Darrin.
- Episode: Scene is cut.
Exterior of Darrin's Office:
- Script: View of door with sign
reading "Darrin Stephens, Account Executive". Secretary comes into
view carrying photos, enters Darrin's office.
- Episode: This scene is cut.
Interior of Darrin's Office:
- Script: Secretary enters, hands
Darrin photos and tells him there are six more girls waiting. Darrin
says he will look at their photos first.
- Episode: The portion of the
scene with the secretary is cut. The Scene starts with Darrin and
Larry looking at photos already in the office.
- Script: Larry leaves the office.
Then the door softly opens and closes. Darrin looks up and sees Janine.
- Episode: Door bit is cut. Darrin
looks up and sees Janine.
- Script: Darrin and Janine have
a conversation about her qualifications, experience, and her photographs.
In this scene with the photos she manages to get very close to Darrin.
- Episode: About half of this
conversation is cut, including all parts about her photos and her
getting close to Darrin.
Stephens's Dining Room:
- Script: Samantha: You've been
very quiet, darling.
- Episode: Samantha: You've been
very quiet, sweetheart.
- Script: Samantha has a line
about Darrin making a good politician the way he is evading her questions
about how his day had been.
- Episode: The line is cut.
- Script: There is a conversation
about Miss Jasmine, and how Darrin is not answering questions. The
last part of this scene has Darrin describing Janine as "Tall, Straight
Nose, Experience. Samantha responds that that could describe Winthrop
Rockefeller, and that Darrin could do better than that; as an advertising
man he has wonderful powers of observation.
- Episode: About one third of
this scene is cut. The name Winthrop Rockefeller is replaced with
Abraham Lincoln.
- Script: Just before Samantha's
"Lets go to a movie line," the script calls for them both to stand
and embrace.
- Episode: They both stay seated.
- Script: After Darrin's "exploitation"
line, he tells Samantha to go to bed and forget about him. Samantha
grouses that "that's a great place to forget about him".
- Episode: This part is cut.
Stephens's Bedroom:
- Script: Samantha reads Janine's
dimensions as 38-22-34.
- Episode: She reads them as 37-23-37.
- Script: Darrin's notes say Janine
should be irresistible in a swimsuit.
- Episode: Notes say a bikini,
not swimsuit.
Photographer's Studio:
- Script: Calls for view of Janine
from Darrin's point of view under the camera viewing cloth. Her image
is upside down.
- Episode: This bit is cut.
So the viewer can see how the script was altered to both shorten
the scene and make the story line smoother, the following is the scene
as it is in the script and as altered for the episode:
Script lines after Darrin's line "What is
it?" are:
JANINE: Well - you picked me for this campaign and I want everything
I do to be so right for you---but I'm afraid . . .
DARRIN: Afraid of what? You're perfect - and you're doing a marvelous
job --
JANINE:[ distraught] I know it's probably foolish, but -- [bites her
lip nervously] -- if I can't talk to you, who else can I talk to?
DARRIN: Well - alright - if you have to talk with me, okay -- we'll
talk.
Episode lines
changed to:
JANINE: It's probably foolish, but I think you'd better get another
Miss Jasmine.
DARRIN: Another Miss Jasmine? What for? Now hold it! I think we had
better talk about this.
Restaurant, very up-scale:
- Script: calls for waiter to
arrange the tableware.
- Episode: There is a reserved
sign on the table which disappears. The waiter does not touch the
table.
- Script: Calls for Darrin and
Janine to be seated in a booth.
- Episode: They are at a corner
table.
- Script: Endora has a line about
Darrin and Janine's behavior being enough to close the place down.
- Episode: This line is cut.
- Script: After Endora's line
about a stool pigeon, she and Janine have lines defending their actions.
- Episode: These lines are cut.
- Script: Samantha has a line
about a "monk" would not be safe with Sara Baker [Janine].
- Episode: "Monk" is replaced
with "Sir Galahad".
- Script: Calls for Darrin and
Janine to get up to leave the restaraunt, and for Darrin to leave
money for the check. They exit.
- Episode: They remain seated,
Darrin calls for a waiter, and there is a fade out.
Stephens's Kitchen:
- Script: Calls for Endora to
toss her hat in before she appears. There is a conversation about
the the hat toss into the room being a human custom to see if it is
safe to come into the room, and Endora tries to calm down a very frosty
Samantha. Samantha, in a huff, makes the hat disappear.
- Episode: This scene is cut to
the point where Darrin phones.
- Script: Endora accuses Samantha
of spying on Darrin. Samantha has a sort of "yes" reply.
- Episode: These lines are cut.
Darrin's Office:
- Script: After Darrin asks Larry
to go with him to Janine's apartment, Larry ends the scene with a
line about he wouldn't invite Darrin to go with him to Janine's apartment;
Darrin replies that Larry is a good influence on him.
- Episode: These last lines are
cut.
Janine's Apartment:
- Script: Darrin and Larry arrive.
Janine is wearing an exotic hostess gown. Darrin reintroduces Larry.
Janine invites them in and they take seats.
- Episode: The scene begins with
Darrin and Larry already seated in the apartment. While nice, Janine's
costume is not exactly exotic.
- Script: Calls for Samantha
to give Darrin his drink back after she has found it contains lotus
leaves.
- Episode: Samantha pours the
rest of Darrin's drink into Janine's drink.
- Script: Calls for Janine to
put on some perfume after she throws the powder into the fireplace.
- Episode: No perfume.
TRAILER
Darrin's Office:
- Script: Samantha twitches, and
the Miss Jasmine poster grows a mustache and beard; two front teeth
are blacked out; and enormous ears appear.
- Episode: Instead of blacking
out teeth, two fangs appear and the eyes cross.
#
13, Love Is Blind
Stephens Living Room:
- Script: As Darrin enters, he
calls Samantha "darling".
- Episode: This is changed to
the more common "Honey" and "Sweetheart".
- Script: Calls for long dialog
between Samantha and Darrin about Gertrude.
- Episode: Most of this is cut,
especially a part about Gertrude having beautiful hands.
Art Dept.:
- Script: Has lines about Kermit’s
girlfriends not being able to cook. Neither can he.
- Episode: Omitted.
Stephens Entry Hall:
- Script: Has lines about Gertrude
making three bus connections, and lines about Kermit’s girlfriends
waiting for him in sports cars.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Kermit is introduced
to Samantha. This is omitted from the episode.
- Episode: Adds lines between
Kermit and Gertrude that are not in script.
- Script: Kermit and Gertrude
have conversation about bird watching.
- Episode: Most of the conversation
is cut.
Art Dept.:
- Script: Calls for Larry to
catch Kermit day dreaming and and chew him out about it.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Darrin comes in and
he and Kermit discuss Gertrude.
- Episode: Omitted.
Stephens Bedroom:
- Script: Conversation between
Samantha and Darrin about Gertrude being a witch.
- Episode: Most of these lines
are cut.
Darrin’s Office:
- Script: Darrin has a conversation
with a young artist who has just acquired Kermit’s address book. Darrin
takes it from him.
- Episode: Omitted.
Art Dept.:
- Script: Darrin and Kermit again
argue over Gertrude and Susan. Darrin tells Kermit to take Susan to
the "Dark Interlude" club.
- Episode: Most of the argument
is cut, and all of it concerning Susan. The argument centers around
Darrin Okaying some layouts. Darrin does not mention Susan, but tells
Kermit he will OK Kermit’s layouts at the "Interlude".
Stephens Entry Hall:
- Script: Darrin is about to
leave for work tells Samantha that they have a date with Kermit and
Susan.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Darrin breaks the vase.
Samantha refuses to fix it.
- Episode: Omitted.
Stephens Living Room:
- Script: Samantha asks Gertrude
to meet her at the "Dark Interlude".
- Episode: Adds line about how
Samantha finding out about the meeting at the "Interlude".
Interlude Club:
- Script: Conversation between
Kermit and Susan. Susan wants to leave and take Kermit with her. Samantha
breaks first one shoulder strap on her dress, and then the second
when breaking just one strap doesn’t work. Susan leaves.
- Episode: Susan recalls old times.
Samantha makes her say bad things about Kermit. Susan leaves. Susan
starts to return and Samantha breaks both of her dress straps at once,
and then messes her hair. Susan runs out.
- Script: Kermit warns Darrin
to stop making remarks about Gertrude, or he will not be asked to
be best man at the wedding.
- Episode: Asked to be best man
is replaced with "invited to the wedding".
Church:
- Script: Darrin is best man.
Samantha freezes him, so he cannot protest the marriage.
- Episode: Darrin is not best
man, there are no attendants. Samantha freezes everyone except Darrin
and gets him to promise not to interfere.
Stephens Bedroom:
- Script: Darrin and Samantha
return from a party at Kermit and Gertrudes. Darrin again asks Samantha
to fix the vase because "Uncle Joe" is coming to visit.
- Episode: The scene is changed
to the entry for the dialog. Darrin breaks the vase and Samantha repairs
it.
- Script: Samantha looks at the
audience, twitches her nose, and the TV screen goes black.
- Episode: Omitted.
#
16, It’s Magic
Tea Room:
- Script: After the teaser there
is a conversation about Samantha not involving Darrin in the project.
Then, there is a conversation about Samantha having no money in her
purse. She twitches and pulls out a man’s money clip. Gladys is surprised
when she sees the money.
- Episode: Up to the point where
Samantha pays the waiter, the entire scene is omitted.
Hotel Corridor:
- Script: Calls for Samantha to
hear Roxie telling Zeno she is leaving, and then she and Samantha
collide in the doorway.
- Episode: The entire scene is
within the hotel room (Samantha about to knock on the door when Roxie
starts to exit).
Hotel Room:
- Script: Calls for Zeno to see
a pelican.
- Episode: He sees a parrot.
Stephens Living Room:
- Script: Darrin is wearing a
tuxedo and Samantha is in new gown. They are on their way to the charity
bazaar.
- Episode: Omitted.
Section of Bazaar:
- Script: Darrin can’t find his
money clip to pay for a kiss. Samantha hands him his clip that she
had zapped to the Tea Room.
- Episode: Omitted.
Zeno’s Dressing Room:
- Episode: Zeno offers to give
Samantha her money back since Roxie is not there and Samantha won’t
take her place.
- Script: Not in the script.
Section of Audience:
- Script: Darrin and Dr. Clarke
have lines about Samantha being so poised and doing such a good job.
- Episode: Omitted.
Stage:
- Script: Calls for the music
"Pomp and Circumstance".
- Episode: piano chords only.
- Script: Curtains are hung up
and Gladys has to walk them open.
- Episode: Curtains are finally
freed and open by themselves.
- Script: Calls for Samantha to
be in revealing short skirt costume.
- Episode: Samantha has long chiffon
skirt with dark tights.
- Script: Zeno tries to pull a
vase out of his pocket, but gets a scarf.
- Episode: Zeno pulls out a fish.
- Script: Calls for Zeno to take
off his hat and put it on the table to pull a rabbit out, which he
cannot do without Samantha’s twitch.
- Episode: The hat is already
on the table and Zeno pulls the first rabbit out. Samantha twitches
gets the other rabbits to appear.
Stephens Living Room:
- Script: Calls for Samantha and
Darrin to be discussing the success of the show and Samantha’s appointment
as the chairman for the next year.
- Episode: There is a kitchen
scene with most of the dialog cut, and this scene is combined with
the next morning scene to the point where Zeno phones.
TV Studio:
- Script: The Floor Manager tells
Zeno that if his performance is not better than the rehearsal he will
be cut off.
- Episode: Omitted.
Stage Area:
- Script: Calls for Samantha to
be in "glamorous costume".
- Episode: Samantha is in street
clothes.
- Script: Calls for Samantha and
Roxie to be on the stage at the same time, both acting as assistants
and arguing over who does what.
- Episode: Samantha gets on stage
only once, only at the edge by accident, when Roxie pulls on her.
- Script: Calls for Samantha to
black out Roxie’s front teeth.
- Episode: Omitted.
- Script: Calls for long dialog
between Zeno, Samantha, Darrin, and the Floor Manager about Zeno appearing
on the show.
- Episode: Most of this scene
is omitted leaving only the fact that Zeno has a job for 13 weeks.
- Script: Calls for magic trick
to be selected as the last trick Zeno does.
- Episode: The upside-down glass
full of milk trick is used.
Stephens Living Room:
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
do the two spoon and tumbler trick.
- Episode: Darrin tries the upside-down
milk glass trick.
Prototype Script for
# 17,
A is for Aardvark
with elements of # 52,
The Magic Cabin
This script is dated one month earlier [October
1, 1964] than the script used for filming # 17,
"A Is For Aardvark". It is a short script, running probably
just under 20 minutes, and has no separate Teaser or Trailer. The most
interesting thing about this script is the incorporation of elements
from # 52, "The Magic Cabin".
It is easy to see where the first part of the script was broken off
to form the beginning of # 52, while
a new introduction was put in place to make # 17.
Darrin's Office:
- Script: [Verbatim] - Darrin
is standing beside his blank drafting sheet on his layout board, looking
like his world has come to an end. He turns away and goes to the window
to brood, when the office door opens and TATE bustles in:
TATE: Decided anything yet?
DARRIN: [nods, numbly] If you'll be good enough to open this window
- I'll jump.
TATE: It can't be that bad, old man.
DARRIN: I'm dry Larry. I can't even come up with a bad idea.
[Larry indicates a stack of layouts on the desk]
TATE: How about those?
DARRIN: From my creative period when I could come up with a bad idea.
[He picks up a poster from the old stack].
TATE: Wortham, the white meat of hams - that wasn't bad.
DARRIN: It was terrible.
TATE: [sympathetically] It's always been a tough account, Darrin, but
you'll come up with something.
This conversation continues with Darrin putting himself down and Larry
trying to cheer him up. Finally, Tate offers Darrin the use of his cabin
for the weekend to "rest up". Darrin doesn't want to go, saying
Samantha might have other plans. The scene ends as Larry picks up the
phone to call Samantha.
- Episode: This sequence begins
in the Stephens' Entry with Darrin making comments
about having trouble with the Kingsley Potato Chip account. The scene
shifts to Darrin's office where Darrin and Larry discuss the problem
and agree to work on it that night at the Stephens' house. The sequence
continues in the Stephens' Den, with Darrin not having any ideas,
and Larry offering the use of the cabin for three days. Darrin doesn't
want to go until Larry tells him he is fired if he doesn't go.
NOTE: The episode does not dwell on Darrin's depression and
lack of ideas nearly as much as does the script.
Darrin's Car at Night:
- Script: A very grim Darrin is
driving in a pouring rainstorm that is so bad that he cannot see the
road. Samantha has lines about being surprised by Larry's call, and
not knowing she was supposed to have other plans. Darrin does not
blame her, saying Larry would not have taken a "no" anyway.
A flash of lightning reveals that Darrin is not on the road, but is
driving beside it. Samantha has a line about there being a bridge
just before the cabin. Darrin says, "We're on it - I think".
Another flash of lightning and a crash behind them. The bridge has
collapsed.
- Episode: This entire scene is
cut.
Tate's Cabin - Night:
- Script: Samantha sloshes in,
followed by Darrin. Both are soaked. Samantha finds the light switch
and turns it on to show what a mess the cabin is with broken windows
and a leaking roof. Darrin is concerned about Samantha being cold
and wet, and looks for an electric heater until the power fails. Samantha
unscrews a light bulb and holds it up. It lights. Darrin is upset
that Samantha has used magic. Darrin finally gives in and lets Samantha
start a fire, but refuses to look at what she is doing. While Darrin
is looking for food, Samantha fixes the roof and windows. Darrin has
sarcastic comments about Samantha's window repair and then reports
that the food has been eaten by animals. They discuss the wet clothes.
Samantha zaps Darrin into a robe and pajamas and herself into lounging
pajamas. Darrin still complains about the use of magic. Samantha then,
over Darrin's objections, zaps up a fabulous dinner. Darrin complains,
but after finishing his steak it is apparent that he is beginning
to like the use of magic.
- Episode: Samantha and Darrin
arrive in daylight and they are shown viewing the cabin from outside.
When they enter they see the mess the cabin is in. Only after they
arrive does it start to rain. Samantha zaps up a fire in the fireplace,
then redoes the cabin. There is no reference to Samantha making a
light bulb light, any heater other than the fireplace, any mention
of food, or of Samantha zapping them into dry clothes.
- Script: The scene continues
with Darrin beginning to rationalize the use of magic, and telling
Samantha that he was wrong to "Rob her of her heritage".
He continues with the train of thought about wanting Samantha to have
everything, and now. He asks her to zap up a fur coat like the one
Louise Tate has, that she needn't wait until Darrin can buy her one.
Finally she gives in and zaps up a ratty fur coat. Darrin will have
none of this and insists that she zap up a good one, which she does.
He then asks her to zap up the accessories, which she does. He then
asks her to zap up a fancy wedding ring, which she also does. Samantha
then asks what he wants for himself. He only wants a whistling yo-yo,
somwething he never had as a boy. Samantha zaps up a yo-yo which Darrin
proceeds to play with.
- Episode: At this point the episode
goes away from the Magic Cabin concept. A new introduction is written
that has nothing to do with Darrin burning out, and begins with Darrin
spraining his ankle [ END OF TEASER ] and being confined
to bed. The above scripted scene takes place in the Stephens'
Bedroom after Samantha has talked Darrin into letting her
make the house cooperate with him. This scene is drastically shortened
from the script, including cutting the ratty fur coat, the accessories,
the wedding ring, and the yo-yo along with most of the dialog where
Darrin rationalizes the use of magic.
Stephens' Kitchen:
- Script: Darrin enters the kitchen
in robe and pajamas, telling Samantha that he is not going to the
office, but is going to play golf.
- Episode: This scene is cut.
Tate's Office:
- Script: Darrin tells Larry that
he is going to retire. Larry is shocked and is plainly upset with
the announcement. Larry warns Darrin that within six months he will
be ready for the funny farm, and if he wants his job back, it might
not be there.
- Episode: This scene takes place
in the Stephens' Living Room and is shortened by
quite a bit.
Stephens' Living Room:
- Script: Darrin comes home with
tickets he has bought for an around the world cruise. Samantha is
visibly upset. The following is verbatim from the script:
DARRIN: Retiring was just the beginning! Look at these - boat tickets!
[he displays a ream of them] You name it - I've got it! Paris, Hong
Kong, Rome, Tokyo, Madrid..... our safari reservations...I've dreamed
of this kind of trip all my life!
SAMANTHA: What did you use for money?
DARRIN: Our bank account.
SAMANTHA: All of it?
DARRIN: Yep. We're going first cabin! And I've still got a small roll
for tips.
SAMANTHA: And when that's gone?
DARRIN: We dip into the old heritage - like other well rounded millionaires!
SAMANTHA: Darrin, I say this more in anger than in sorrow - but you
married me for my magic!
DARRIN: [slowed down some] Samantha, I found out you were a witch after
we were married, so don't be ridiculous!
SAMANTHA: You want to live on my magic..... and I'm being ridiculous!
DARRIN: [accusingly] Who's being selfish now?
SAMANTHA: [incredulous] Good grief! I think you're serious!
DARRIN: If you'd stop being emotional for a minute and look at this
logically, you'd see....
SAMANTHA: Explain it to me! I dare you!
DARRIN: Take this house for instance. It's not my house, it's not your
house...it's our house. When we used to have a bank account - it wasn't
mine, it wasn't yours, - it was ours.
SAMANTHA: Of course! It isn't my magic, it isn't your magic, it's our
magic!
DARRIN: Now you've got it!
SAMANTHA: Oh, good! Do a trick for me, Darrin - disappear!
DARRIN: What's that supposed to mean?
SAMANTHA: Go ahead - do it with "our" magic. Or just do it
- period.
DARRIN: You've missed the point completely. The whole basis of marriage
is two people sharing everything - for the rest of their lives,
SAMANTHA: Agreed. But now that you've "retired", we won't
have anything to share - but my magic. What are you putting into the
pot?
This argument continues in the same vein until Samantha offers to make
the memories of a trip without actually taking it. Darrin is not in
favor of it. Finally Samantha asks Darrin what it is he is running away
from. He tells her that he is burnt out. Samantha wants to know why
he didn't tell her so she could help him.
DARRIN: How? By doing my thinking for me?
SAMANTHA: [a beat] Maybe not, but I can't do your running for you either.
DARRIN: You won't come with me?
SAMANTHA: No, Darrin.
[Darrin slams out of the room].
- Episode: Most of the above is
cut. About all that is left is Samantha's offer to make the memories.
Also, in the episode, Darrin has not actually bought any tickets,
he has only looked at travel folders.
REVIEWER'S NOTE: This bitter scene, and others in the script,
between Samantha and Darrin are most unusual. They have their fights
in the episodes, but not anything like this. It was probably best for
the series that these scenes were cut.
Stephens' Den:
- Script: Darrin is packing a
suitcase when Larry knocks and enters. Larry assures Darrin that he
is not there to try to influence him, but only to say goodbye and
leave a small package that came to the office for Darrin. As Larry
starts to exit he turns to Darrin:
LARRY: Oh, I almost forgot. Fred said to give you his best.
DARRIN: Fred?
LARRY: Fred Wortham. Wortham Ham. He was in today. Loved all of your
layouts.
DARRIN: Yeah, sure.
LARRY: I mean it. [Darrin seems to brighten a little].
DARRIN: On your way out would you give this to Samantha, please.
- Episode: This section is changed.
A delivery person brings roses, and perhaps the package. Larry is
not in the scene at all.
Stephens' Living Room:
- Script: Samantha asks Larry
if Darrin believed him. Larry replies, "Who knows? You are never
safe with the truth". [Larry hands Samantha the package. She
opens the box, and the watch with the inscription "I Love
You Every Second" is inside].
- Episode: The scene takes place
in the Den. Darrin, not Larry, gives Samantha the
box with the watch.
Stephens' Den:
- Script: After Samantha's lines
that she will go anywhere with him, Darrin asks if she will use her
magic for him.
SAMANTHA: Yes, yes!
DARRIN: Then take me back to Larry's cabin before this mess started!
Can you do that?
SAMANTHA: Is that what you really want?
DARRIN: If it's not too much of a sacrifice for you. [The scene begins
to shimmer and turns to a whirling circle that grows smaller and smaller,
during which Darrin's voice grows softer] It'll mean you'll have to
be content with just the things I can afford to give you. No more magic.
It'll mean putting up with me. And I'm all too human - I'll feel like
throwing in the towel sometimes - but one thing about us mortals - we
always bounce back.
- Episode: Darrin asks Samantha
to take him back to before he got used to the magic. The picture of
Darrin spins and he fades out. His closing speech is greatly shortened.
Tate's Cabin:
- Script: The scene is exactly
as it was after the dinner in the cabin, but with Darrin and Samantha
in front of the fireplace. Darrin has lines about being unreasonable
and selfish, words that are leading right back to his wanting to use
magic. Samantha shuts him up with a passionate kiss. Darrin starts
on the same subject again and gets another passionate kiss. This happens
a third time. Finally Samantha says, "You were saying?".
Darrin has the line,"Samantha, at a time like this, only a fool
would say anything!".
FADE OUT to THE END
- Episode: [ TRAILER ]
Scene is in the Stephens' Living Room. Darrin is
upstairs in bed calling to Samantha for a pencil. She starts to have
it fly up to him, thinks about it a moment and starts up the steps
with it.
FADE OUT
#
17, A is for Aardvark
[REVIEWERS NOTE: Many changes are made in scripts
before and during the actual filming. Generally, when changes are made,
the original pages are discarded and only the final versions go with
the script. In this episode, however, a number of both original and
altered pages are included. These will be noted as "Oriscript"
and "Altscript".]
TEASER
STEPHENS' BEDROOM:
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
have lines about not being this tired since the war. He kisses Samantha
good night and they both settle down. A moment later Darrin props
himself up and calls Samantha.
- Episode: This bit is cut. The
episode starts with Darrin lying down and calling Samantha.
- Script: After Samantha offers
to "do it from here," Darrin gets up, pulls on a robe and
says "I'll do it." He exits the bedroom only to return to
tell Samantha the light in the hallway is out. Samantha says that
they do not have a spare but she can give him some light. Darrin refuses
and exits the bedroom.
- Episode: Darrin says, "I'll
do it," and gets up. He does not put on a robe and the bit about
him returning to the bedroom is cut.
STEPHENS' LIVING ROOM:
- Oriscript: Samantha
finds Darrin at the bottom of the stairs. He says he thinks he has
broken his toe. Samantha says she wishes he had let her fix the lights.
Darrin wants her to fix his toe. Samantha replies that she can't,
she is a witch, not a doctor. She zaps up a bucket of ice water to
soak Darrin's foot. Darrin then says he should have let her turn on
the lights.
- Altscript: The same
as Oriscript except the broken toe is replaced with sprained ankle.
- Episode: The bits about turning
on the lights, fixing the toe [ankle], and the ice water are cut.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
STEPHENS' BEDROOM:
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
pump his arm twice before launching the paper airplane.
- Episode: He omits the arm pumps.
- Script: Calls for Samantha
to have a smudge on her right cheek.
- Episode: No smudge.
STEPHENS' LIVING ROOM:
- Oriscript: Calls for
Samantha to enter from the kitchen as Darrin calls.
- Altscript: Samantha
is already in the Living Room and stops at the foot of the stairs.
- Episode: Follows the Altscript.
- Script: Calls for Samantha
to gather up rubber bands, scissors, etc., in addition to magazines,
cigarettes, and lighter, before she starts upstairs.
- Episode: Rubber bands, scissors,
etc. are not included.
STEPHENS' BEDROOM:
- Script: After Darrin's line,
"What's all that stuff?", the script continues as:
SAMANTHA: Trips twenty-eight through thirty, I hope.
DARRIN: Smart girl. But I promise - I won't call you again for at
least two hours.
SAMANTHA: That's what you said 10 minutes ago. Now, before I go -
is there anything else you need?
DARRIN: Not a thing.
SAMANTHA: You're sure?
DARRIN: Positive. [Samantha nods and starts from the room] What time's
lunch?
SAMANTHA: A quarter past laundry. [She EXITS. Darrin smiles after
her, then concentrates on a crossword puzzle. In the middle of a word,
the pencil point snaps. He looks up and automatically starts to call
Samantha. He stops, guiltily - thinks a moment - then taking another
blank sheet of paper, he writes with the broken tip of lead. Now he
folds the paper into another airplane - aims it carefully, and sails
it out the door].
- Episode: This entire scene
is cut.
STEPHENS' BEDROOM:
- Script: After Samantha asks
Darrin if he would like a glass of water, he asks for one. Samantha
twitches and a sound of running water is heard. A glass of water floats
in from the bathroom and moves to Darrin's side, waiting for him to
take it. Darrin draws away. Samantha has the line, "See how easy
it is?"
- Episode: This scene is cut.
- Script: After Samantha's line
about the house cooperating with Darrin, Samantha has a line about
co-operative apartments. Darrin insists that is not what it means.
The conversation continues with Samantha asking Darrin to try it as
a help to her, and Darrin refusing.
- Episode: This scene is cut to
the point where Samantha tells Darrin to ask for something.
STEPHEN' BEDROOM:
- Script: Calls for Darrin to
be eating the banana. He finishes and throws the peel toward the wastebasket.
He misses. He then orders the peel to go into the wastebasket, which
it does. He then turns his attention to the window.
- Episode: The bit with the banana
is cut. The scene begins with Darrin ordering the window to open.
STEPHENS' KITCHEN:
- Script: Calls for the tray to
rise and start out of the room.
- Episode: Samantha stops the
tray in mid-rise and zaps a flower onto the tray.
STEPHENS' BEDROOM:
- Script: After Samantha zaps
up a fur coat, Darrin and Endora comment about the coat, and what
a wonderful woman Samantha is. Darrin then wants Samantha to zap up
the rest of the outfit - hat, gloves, shoes, etc., and a diamond ring
like Louise Tate has. Samantha zaps a large diamond wedding band onto
her finger.
- Episode: The part about the
accessories and the diamond ring is cut.
STEPHENS' LIVING ROOM:
- Oriscript: Larry and
Darrin refer to Darrin having broken his toe. Larry asks Darrin what
about his career, and that he can't throw it away because he is working
toward achievment and financial security - so that someday he can
relax, and do what he wants - travel, enjoy the finer things.
- Altscript: Larry and
Darrin refer to his sprained ankle. The remaining lines are shortened
down to Larry asking where Darrin is getting the money for all this.
- Episode: Follows the Altscript.
STEPHENS' BEDROOM:
- Script: Samantha comes in to
change clothes. Endora joins her. Samantha begins to change and the
two argue over Samantha being unhappy, Samantha blaming Endora for
sticking her foot in the problem, and Endora denying any intention
of making Samantha unhappy.
- Episode: The clothes changing
is cut. Most of the lines are cut.
STEPHENS' LIVING ROOM:
- Oriscript: Calls for
Darrin to call Samantha about what happened to dinner. There is a
flash and a complete dinner appears in the dining room - complete
with candles, wine, steaming food, etc. Darrin is amazed. He calls
Samantha again, and she comes down the stairs in an evening gown.
- Altscript: Darrin
calls Samantha twice before she appears on the stairs. The entire
bit about the dining room and the food is cut.
- Episode: Follows the Altscript.
- Oriscript: Samantha
tells Darrin the closets are full of all new clothes. She helps him
from his seat on the couch and both head to the dining room where
they sit and continue the conversation which is interlaced with comments
about the food.
- Altscript: They remain
in the living room. All action and lines toward, or in, the dining
room are cut.
- Episode: Follows the Altscript.
- Oriscript: After the
discussion about getting a new house, they eat in silence.
- Altscript: After the
discussion about the house, the dining room table is suddenly overflowing
with a sumptuous dinner, crystal and silver, wine, etc.. Samantha
takes Darrin's arm as they start to the dining room.
- Episode: After the discussion
about the house, the scene fades out.
STEPHENS' DEN:
- Script: Darrin is on the phone.
He tells the realtor that tomorrow is too soon to show the house.
- Episode: This line is cut. The
phone conversation is only as Samantha overhears it from the bedroom.
STEPHENS' BEDROOM:
- Script: Samantha hears the front
door bell. She goes outside the bedroom and sees Darrin at the front
door holding a long and a small package. He calls up to her that these
are for her, and she starts down the stairs.
- Episode: Samantha hears the
doorbell. The scene shifts to Darrin coming into the DEN with a long
box.
STEPHENS' LIVING ROOM/DEN:
- Script: Calls for the conversation
about the flowers and the watch to be in the Living Room.
- Episode: The scene takes place
in the Den. The watch appears to be in with the flowers
- Script: Samantha tells Darrin
that these flowers and the watch mean more to her than anything she
has ever had before.
DARRIN: If you say so.
SAMANTHA: I do say so - and I'll say it again - and again!
DARRIN: You don't have to Sam, I heard you the first time!
SAMANTHA: I don't want anything from you again. Nothing! Just these
flowers and this wristwatch!
- Episode: The direct quotes above
are cut.
- Script: Darrin tells Samantha
if she has ever twitched, now is the time. They hold onto each other
as the camera moves in on Samantha. She twitches - and there is a
flash.
- Episode: Instead of holding
each other, Samantha backs out of view, and the picture of Darrin
begins to spin.
STEPHENS' LIVING ROOM:
- Script: Samantha starts up the
stairs with the pencil. There is a fade out to THE END.
- Episode: This is the end of
act one.
TRAILER
- Script: There is no trailer
in the script.
- Episode: The repeat bit about
the door not being locked, Samantha twitching and the door locking
itself is added.
#
18, The Cat's Meow
REVIEWER'S NOTE: This script / episode has some interesting
switches. In the script the Teaser takes place in the Stephens' Living
room. Act I begins in Darrin's office. The Office scene then shifts
to the Stephens' Kitchen, and then back to Darrin's Office. In the episode,
the script Teaser is deleted, and the Kitchen scene is used as the Teaser.
The two scenes in Darrin's Office are combined into one scene.
TEASER
- Script: The scene opens in the
Stephens' Living Room. Darrin enters and takes a
small gift wrapped package out of a chest, and surprised, he finds
another one there. Samantha enters to remind Darrin that she will
pick him up at the office at 6:30. [Darrin hides the gifts behind
his back] Samantha teases him about not kissing her goodbye, calling
him the Don Juan of the nine-seventeen. She starts to give him a hug
and realizes he has something behind his back. This leads to comments
about his snooping, and that the second gift is for him [for their
six months anniversary]. Darrin asks Samantha if she likes it, saying
that with her powers she can tell what is inside the box. Samantha
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