# 171, Samantha and the Beanstalk

NOTE: This review is based on two scripts. They are the Final Draft, dated March 10, 1969 and the Revised Final Draft, dated March 31, 1969. The scripts follow the same story line with the main difference being that [1] Endora is seen throughout the entire Original Script [including following Samantha to the Giant’s castle], but her part is cut to two short appearances in the Revised Script and [2] the TRAILER’S of the two scripts are completely different. The episode follows the Revised Script closely except for cut scenes and a few added lines.

TEASER

Stephens’ Patio:

• Original Script: After Darrin’s line about talking during a back swing, he follows the imaginary flight of the ball, and continues to make imaginary drives. After making a hole in two, he asks Samantha what it was she asked.
• Revised Script: The above bit is cut.
• Episode: The episode follows the revised script.
  
  
• Scripts: After Samantha’s line about changing her mind, Darrin suggests ”Scott” if a boy and “Pamela” if a girl. Then:
  SAMANTHA: [shakes her head] No . . .that doesn’t go with Stephens.
  DARRIN: I have an idea. Let’s change Stephens. It’ll be easier.
  SAMANTHA: This is nothing to joke about. I don’t want to settle for any old name . . .it should be something romantic.
  DARRIN: How about “Romeo” if it’s a boy and “Juliet” if it’s a girl?
  SAMANTHA: You know what I mean! The name should be unique and euphonious.
  DARRIN: Okay . . .”Unique” if it’s a boy, and “Euphonious” if it’s a girl.
  The script continues with Samantha telling Darrin either to be helpful or go play golf. Then:
  DARRIN: Okay, let's name him after my uncle.
  SAMANTHA: Which one?
  DARRIN: “Egbert Wanderlick Stephens”.
  SAMANTHA: You don’t have any uncle named that.
  DARRIN: No, but it makes James or Scott sound a lot better.
• Episode: The lines about Unique, Euphonious, and Egbert, and related lines are cut.
  
  
• Original Script: Tabitha wants to know why Samantha is painting her old crib; she insists that she doesn’t want the new baby sleeping in it. Samantha tells her that she is a big girl now and doesn’t need it any more. Tabitha insists that she does so need it.
  Tabitha then has a line that she doesn’t want a baby brother or sister. She wants a pony.
• Revised Script: The above scene is cut from the Original Script, except for the line about the pony.
• Episode: The entire scene is cut.

ACT I

Tabitha’s Room:

• Scripts: Both scripts have the following lines, after Tabitha says she wants somebody to talk to:
  JACK: You’re a witch, aren’t you?
  TABITHA: Uh. How did you know?
  JACK: Witches are always fooling around in our stories.
  TABITHA: This is my first time.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Scripts: After Jack rubs his backside:
  TABITHA: Your mother doesn’t like you either?
  JACK: After what I did, I don’t think she is too crazy about me.
  TABITHA: Did you ever have a daddy?
  JACK: Nope. Never had one.
  TABITHA: Then how could you be born?
  JACK: I wasn’t born. I was written.
• Episode: Everything except Tabitha’s question about did Jack have a daddy, and Jack’s reply are cut.

Stephens’ Patio:

• Original Script: Endora POPS in almost immediately as the scene begins. After Darrin’s line about what he would like to do with the golf club, Endora takes an interest in what Samantha is doing. She is revolted at the thought of her grandchild sleeping in a second hand crib. She ZAPS up a very fancy crib, which she says belonged to Louis the Fourteenth. Darrin says it is still used, and for her to get rid of it. The doorbell rings, Samantha goes to answer it, and Endora POPS out.
• Revised Script: The entire bit about the Louie the Fourteenth crib is deleted.
• Episode: The episode follows the Revised Script.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Original Script: Samantha answers the door to admit Mrs. Stephens. Endora is present.
• Revised Script: Darrin answers the door. Endora is not present.
• Episode: Follows the Revised Script.
  
  
• Original Script: Mrs. Stephens comments about Samantha’s apparent good health, but says she is lying awake nights worrying about Darrin. She thinks Samantha’s pregnancy is taking too much out of Darrin since he is so thin. Samantha replies that her doctor says that Darrin will get his figure back as soon as she has the baby. Mrs. Stephens wants to take Tabitha to a picnic lunch at the park. Endora counters with a snide remark that the only playground she would take Tabitha to is the Italian Riveria. Darrin tries to cover, but only makes things worse.
• Revised Script: Darrin greets his mother at the door and ushers her in.
• Episode: The entire scene from the Original Script is cut and the short scene from the Revised Script is used.

Tabitha’s Bedroom:

• Scripts: After Darrin asks who Jack is, he and Samantha go through a “Promise me you won’t get mad”, “I’m already upset”, "Then don’t get hysterical” routine.
• Episode: This bit is cut from the episode.
  
  
• Original Script: After Samantha disappears onto the beanstalk:
  DARRIN: Sam, you can’t go climbing up a beanstalk in your condition.
  SAMANTHA: Witches don’t have to climb. [She makes a gesture and starts FLOATING up the beanstalk. As she rises, she calls Tabitha].
  DARRIN: Be careful of the Giant. He’s a man-eater. [He does a double-take as he reacts to what he has just said] Be careful of the giant, he’s a man eater [a beat] They’d never believe it at the office.
• Revised Script: Before the above scene, lines are added about Darrin really wanting to know where Tabitha went, and why? Samantha admits she doesn’t know why. She then tells Darrin that it is all a part of growing up, and as a little girl she used to slip into Snow White. Darrin says that is a nice fairy tale, but this one’s got a giant in it.
• Episode: These scenes are completely cut from the episode.

ACT II 

The Kingdom:

• Original Script: Calls for the Giant’s wife to be three times Samantha’s size and the Giant to be five times Tabitha’s size.
• Revised Script: Calls for the wife to be 1½ times Samantha’s size, and the Giant to be three times Tabitha’s size.
• Episode: The wife is the same size as Samantha, and the Giant is about 10 times Tabitha’s size.

Giant’s Dining Room:

• Scripts: Refer to the “White Goose that laid the golden eggs”. The Giant lifts Tabitha with his hand and puts her on the table.
• Episode: A red hen is used instead of a white goose. All references to the goose in the scripts are replaced with “hen” in the episode. The Giant is not shown to pick Tabitha up.
  
  
• Scripts: The Giant has the lines:

Fee Fie, Fo Fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman!
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.

• Episode: The last two lines of the rhyme are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Scripts: Darrin admonishes Jack not to tell Mrs. Stephens who he is because Fairy tails frighten her. Endora is present in the Original, but not the Revised Script.
• Episode: The scene is cut.
  
  
• Original Script: Jack insists on telling Mrs. Stephens, in full detail about his trip up the beanstalk. Endora urges him on.
• Revised Script: The scene is cut.
• Episode: The scene is cut.

Tabitha’s Room:

• Original Script: Darrin wants Endora to go after Samantha and Tabitha. She refuses to go in her “Lili Arlege” original and ZAPS herself into a chic lederhosen mountain climber’s outfit. She floats up the beanstalk as Samantha did.
• Revised Script: Endora refuses to go up the beanstalk, saying that Samantha and Tabitha are in no danger. She adds that she used to pop herself into literature, and that one time she changed places with Ophelia of Hamlet.
• Episode: Follows the Revised Script.

Castle Door:

• Original Script: Endora arrives just as Samantha prepares to knock.
• Revised Script: Endora is not present and her lines and Samantha’s answers are omitted.
• Episode: Follows the Revised Script.

Dungeon:

• Original Script: Samantha and Endora enter looking for Tabitha. Endora has a line about not expecting to spend the day in a dungeon and complains that she is late for her hairdressers.
• Revised Script: Endora is not present. The “Dungeon” line is given to Samantha, and the rest of the lines are cut.
• Episode: Follows the Revised Script.
  
  
• Original Script: [Tabitha has shrunken the Giant down to her size].
• Revised Script: [Tabitha has shrunken the Giant down to half her size].
• Episode: The Giant is even smaller.
  
  
• Scripts: As the Giant complains about being so small, he says that he wishes Tabitha had picked Cinderella for a Fairy tale to go into.
• Episode: This line is cut.

Tabitha’s Bedroom:

• Scripts: Call for Tabitha to POP Jack back into the story.
• Episode: Tabitha is not seen to POP Jack back.

TRAILER  Original Script

Tabitha’s Room:

Mrs. Stephens enters and wants to know where Jack is.
SAMANTHA: Gone
ENDORA: Yes. Into thin air.
TABITHA: No. Up the beanstalk.
MRS. STEPHENS: Naturally.
DARRIN: I’ll get you an aspirin Mother.
MRS. STEPHENS: And the address of a qualified psychiatrist.

Tabitha’s Room: [later]

Samantha has put Tabitha to bed. As soon as Samantha leaves, Tabitha POPS Jack from in front of the castle door to her room. She apologizes to Jack for getting him adopted by her parents. Jack doesn’t need an apology; he hates golf, and got a sick stomach from all the food he ate. He says he would rather fight a million giants than live with her family. Tabitha ZAPS Jack back into the story, closes the book, and drifts off to sleep.

TRAILER  Revised Script and Episode

Stephens’ Living Room:

The episode follows the Revised Script, beginning in the living room. The scene where Samantha puts Tabitha to bed is a part of ACT II.

# 172, Samantha’s Yoo-Hoo Maid

TEASER

Stephens’ Hallway:

• Script: Darrin is shown coming down the stairs. He turns and heads for the kitchen.
• Episode: This scene is cut. The episode begins in the kitchen.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Darrin enters the kitchen. The kitchen table and chairs are loaded with groceries.
  DARRIN: What’s all this?
  SAMANTHA: Thought I’d better stock up on a few items so you won’t run out of anything while I’m in the hospital.
• Episode: Samantha’s line is deleted and replaced with, “I ordered everything early, hoping I’d get it out of the way.”
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: Don’t you think I can go to the store?
  SAMANTHA: Yes, but you never bring home the trading stamps and I need one more book for the baby scale.
  DARRIN: But you shouldn’t be exerting yourself at a time like this. [picks up can] Diced pomegranates?
  SAMANTHA: I had a craving for diced pomegranates . . .besides it finished out the book. Sit down, sweetheart, I’ll get your breakfast.
• Episode: All except Samantha’s, “Sit down…” is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: [to Samantha] I can no longer permit you to go on doing these menial chores, just because El Cheapo refuses to hire a maid.
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, maybe you had better get breakfast on your way to work.
  DARRIN: I’m not leaving until you explain to Medusa that not having a maid has nothing to do with money.
  SAMANTHA: [to Endora] It has nothing to do with money.
  ENDORA: No? Then why don’t you have one?
  DARRIN: Because, my dear mother-in-law, one look at you and your hocus-pocus and the average maid would go screaming out of the house.
  ENDORA: What a pity we never had that work on you.
• Episode: The above scene, except for Endora’s first line, is cut.

Stephens’ Entry:

• Script: Esmeralda has just become visible after coming into the house.
  ESMERALDA: [looking at Samantha] Oh, Samantha, I see we have a little one on the way. [Samantha nods] [Esmeralda, quickly . . .embarrassed] Oh, I don’t suppose I should have noticed. [She FADES OUT]
  SAMANTHA: [quickly] Of course you should. We’re very happy. Please come in and sit down.
• Episode: The above bit is cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Entry:

• Script:
  DARRIN: [low] Don’t you think I want you to have a maid, Hon, just as much as your mother does? But it’s got to be someone dependable.
  SAMANTHA: [low] What makes you think she isn’t?
  DARRIN: Sam, how can you depend on someone who keeps fading away?
  SAMANTHA: Well, at least she’ll be unobtrusive. And Mother’s right. We have to have some help. What can we lose?
  DARRIN: For one thing, our minds! [Camera angle on Esmeralda. As she becomes more aware that she is the subject of the discussion, she begins to fade, this time just enough to become transparent] Now, admit it. That could be a little hard to explain in mixed company.
  SAMANTHA: Once she relaxes, it won’t happen. Darrin, who’s going to look after you and Tabitha when I go to the hospital?
  DARRIN: My mother offered to help. And she doesn’t fade.
  SAMANTHA: [under her breath] No, not even when you want her to.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Esmeralda has just declared that she was a lady in waiting at Windsor castle. She doesn’t remember the number, but she describes Henry VIII.
  ESMERALDA: I tell you, there wasn’t a female in that court that was safe. So, finally I left.
  ENDORA: He made advances to you, too?
  ESMERALDA: No, and I got tired of waiting my turn. I mean, who wants to be a lady-in-waiting forever?
• Episode: The above is cut.

Stephens’ Hallway:

• Script: Darrin and Samantha have retreated to the hallway to discuss Esmeralda.
  SAMANTHA: You don’t like her?
  DARRIN: The point is, what good is she going to be?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, if all she does is help with Tabitha, I’m satisfied. And, after all, she worked for the King of England.
  DARRIN: That wasn’t work. It was a track and field event. [sighs] Well, I hope you know what you’re doing. [they exit to the living room]
• Episode: The above lines are cut.

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: Darrin is seated at his desk:
  DARRIN: Okay, what’s the problem, Larry?
  LARRY: [blithely] There’s no problem.
  DARRIN: Then why did you make me break my neck to get here? [Camera angle widens to include Endora who has just POPPED in].
  LARRY: [vaguely] I don’t know . . .It seemed important at the time.
  DARRIN: Are you feeling all right?
  LARRY: Sure. How’re you feeling, boy?
  DARRIN: Confused. I was all set to work at home, then you tell me to get in here, and now you don’t know why and . . .[the realization] . . .it makes perfect sense!
  LARRY: It does?
  DARRIN: If you know my mother-in-law.
  LARRY: Of course. Charming lady. How is Endora?
  DARRIN: Using all her charms, I’m afraid. We got this new maid this morning and she wanted me out of the house.
  LARRY: You’re putting me on! The maid wanted you out of the house?
  DARRIN: No, my mother-in-law. She’s a real ding-a-ling
  LARRY: That’s no way to talk about your wife’s mother.
  DARRIN: I meant the maid. Larry, do you mind if I go back home?
  LARRY: The condition you’re in, you’d better. [he exits] [Endora creates “L’s” to his desk, blocking him in.
  DARRIN: Will you please knock it off! [he tries to climb over the desk and the telephone wires wrap around his legs. He takes a header] Endora, when they made you, they threw away the mould. That’s not what they should have thrown away. [He manages to get out of the office. Endora follows. Darrin heads for the elevator. He presses the button, the doors open and he starts to step in, then gasps in horror as he looks down. There is no elevator, only a shaft. He turns and totters back to his office].
• Episode: The above scene is cut, except the part about the maid wanting him out of the house, which is moved to the later scene when he meets Hampton in his office.

ACT II

Outer Office:

• Script: The three men leave Darrin’s office and cross to the elevator. Larry presses the button. As Larry and Hampton start to step in, Darrin grabs them to keep them from entering the elevator. Both turn startled. Darrin looks in, sees that there is an elevator there, complete with operator and several passengers. They enter the elevator with Larry drawing Darrin in.
  LARRY: [to Hampton] Battle fatigue.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Samantha and Endora are seated on the sofa discussing Tabitha and Esmeralda.
• Episode: The scene begins with Endora, split into two persons, playing chess with herself. Samantha enters, Endora pulls herself together, and the conversation follows the script.

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script: Tabitha has called Samantha to see her “funny pony”.
  ESMERALDA: I wish it was a pony. Ponies go away.
  SAMANTHA: What are you trying to tell us?
  ESMERALDA: Well, the last time I sneezed up a unicorn, I couldn’t get rid of it.
  SAMANTHA: That’s terrible.
  EAMERALDA: You don’t know the half of it. I was living in a one room apartment.
  TABITHA: Can’t we keep it, Mommy?
  SAMANTHA: I’m afraid not, Sweetheart.
  TABITHA: Why? If you’re gonna have a baby, why can’t I have a pony?
  SAMANTHA: It’s not the same thing. Besides, the baby will be yours, too.
  TABITHA: I don’t want a baby. I want a pony.
  ENDORA: Why all the fuss. I think it would make an adorable pet.
  SAMANTHA: Mother, the number of people who have a unicorn for a pet can be counted on the fingers of one finger. If we can’t get rid of it, Darrin’s going to explode!
  ENDORA: Splendid!
• Episode: The above scene is cut and after Esmeralda’s line, “Ponies go away”, and is replaced with:
  SAMANTHA: There’s nothing funny about it.
  ENDORA: Oh, It’s divine.
  SAMANTHA: It isn’t a pony, it’s a unicorn, and they don’t exist anymore.
  TABITHA: Why not?
  SAMANTHA: You remember I told you about Noah’s Ark? . . .The unicorns missed the boat.
  
  
• Script: [Samantha becomes more agitated] [to Endora] Mother. You’ve simply got to do something to get rid of this before Darrin gets home.
  ENDORA: Here’s a thought. Why don’t we get rid of him before he gets home? [as Samantha reacts angrily] Well, What am I supposed to do? You know very well I can’t affect anyone else’s spell.
  ESMERALDA: I’m so sorry. Maybe . . .we could disguise it?
  SAMANTHA: As what? A hat rack?
  DARRIN’S VOICE: Sam?
  SAMANTHA: Yipe!
• Episode: The above bit is cut

Stephens’ Porch:

• Script: Darrin, Larry, and Hampton discuss the name “Gazelle” for Hampton’s new economy car. Darrin thinks the name lacks a power image.
• Episode: The name of the car is “Cheetah”. Darrin thinks there will be a connection to “Cheating”.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Darrin tries to get Hampton into the den to lie down rather than go on the patio where he can see the unicorn.
• Episode: Larry has added the line,” What have you got in there? An oxygen tent?
  
  
• Script: Hampton is preparing to leave.
  HAMPTON: Nice meeting you, Mrs. Stephens. [to Darrin] That’s a remarkable woman, I hope you realize it.
  DARRIN: [meaningfully] Oh, believe me, nobody realizes it more than me.
• Episode: The above is cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: After Tabitha announces that there is an elephant in her room, Esmeralda fades out, leaving the flowers hanging in mid air. Samantha and Darrin react into the fade out.
• Episode: Added are the lines:
  DARRIN: Do you want to explain about the elephant?
  SAMANTHA: No!
  DARRIN: Good. [Samantha kisses Darrin and they embrace as we hear the elephant trumpet]

# 173, Samantha's Caesar Salad

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: When Caesar appears he is next to Esmeralda, and his hand is in the salad bowl.
• Episode: He appears several feet from Esmeralda and behind her.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Darrin is in the LR. As Samantha enters, the lines are: Samantha: Hi, sweetheart. Hungry? Darrin: (with a leer) Yeah! Samantha: I'm talking about lunch. How come Larry let you out?
• Episode: Dialogue as follows… Samantha: Hi, sweetheart. Hungry? Darrin: Starved. Samantha: How come Larry let you out?

Airport:

• Script: Dialogue written as: Larry: I went to a party last night and had the greatest stroke of luck in years! Darrin: Well, it's a good thing Louise wasn't with you. Larry: I'm not talking about that kind of luck. The discussion continues about the Charday oil account being open for grabs.
• Episode: Omitted.

Stephens' Den:

• Script: Larry has lines about the Tiger cologne smells like $5.00 a bottle. Darrin's line is to cut the price and it will sell.
• Episode: Omitted.

Stephens' Hallway:

• Script: After Samantha says it is really thrilling to listen to Caesar, Darrin has a line: "Sure. And if you go skydiving without a parachute it's even more thrilling--and less dangerous!"
• Episode: Omitted.

City Hall:

• Script: The officer on steps is confronting Caesar and several other policemen join in for backup.
• Episode: No other policemen show up.

Stephens' Entry:

• Script: When Evelyn Charday enters the script calls for ad lib acknowledgments.
• Episode: No ad libs.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Samantha has a line about Larry being happy. Darrin has lines about Larry first calling him a genius, and then bawling him out for hiring models without authorization.
• Episode: Omitted.

# 174, Samantha’s Curious Cravings

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Darrin makes a list of the people he wants Samantha to call if she has to go to the hospital when he is not around. His list, in order is: Mr. Dawson, Mrs. Marsh, the Denneys, the Garrets, the Fowlers, and the Kenters.
• Episode: The names are changed to: Mr. Luckins, Mrs. Grand, the Henrys, the Goodalls, the Harpers, and the Cushmans.

End Episode TEASER

Continue Script TEASER, Begin Episode ACT I

Dr. Anton’s Office:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: [reprovingly] IRON pills.
  ANTON: Sorry. I’ll give you another prescription. [as he writes] This is probably your last office visit, Samantha. Better have your bag packed.
  SAMANTHA: Oh, it’s packed. And the entire neighborhood is on the alert . . .and Darrin’s a nervous wreck . . .we’re all ready.
• Episode: Beginning with, “This is probably . . .”, the rest of the lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: A bowl of chop suey appears in Samantha’s hand. The script does not say what she does with it.
• Episode: Before Dr. Anton asks for the prescription back, Samantha puts the chop suey in her purse.
  
  
• Script:
  ANTON: If your druggist can’t fill it, he can always eat it. [He laughs heartily, Samantha joins him in a token laugh. He rises and crosses around his desk to Samantha’s chair] Well, the next time I see you, will be at the hospital . . .[He helps her up and they cross to the door during the following] . . .Just relax as much as you can, take your vitamins, and don’t worry about those cravings for food. It won’t hurt you one bit.
  SAMANTHA: Thank you, Doctor. Goodbye. [She exits. Anton closes the door and starts back for his desk, but when he passes the chair in which Samantha was sitting, he does a take. [CAMERA view on chair. A honeydew melon is resting on the chair. The CAMERA returns to Anton as he reacts in surprise]
• Episode: After Anton’s first line, the rest is cut.

End Script TEASER

Script ACT I

Stephens’ Entry Hall:

• Script: [Darrin adds another name to his phone list]
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, you’ve got enough people on that list now for a Search and Destroy team.
• Episode: The line is changed to:
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, you’ve got enough names on that list now to fill Madison Square Garden.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: [to Samantha] When did the cravings start?
  SAMANTHA: Yesterday.
  ENDORA: Strange . . .
  DARRIN: You mean you don’t know what it is?
  ENDORA: No, do you?
  DARRIN: Sam, what are you going to do?
  SAMANTHA: Look at the bright side . .. if I get a craving for something in the middle of the night, you won’t have to get up to go get it.
  DARRIN: Sam, it’s nothing to kid about.
  SAMANTHA: [calming him down] And it’s nothing to worry about. I feel fine.
  ENDORA: You can never tell . . .[glaring at Darrin] . . .when mortals are involved.
  DARRIN: [flaring] There’s always trouble when you’re involved! Will you please stay out of this!
  ENDORA: I happen to be worried.
  DARRIN: Well, what do you think I am.
  ENDORA: [pointedly] Do you really want to know?
• Episode: Darrin and Endora’s lines about not knowing what it is are cut. After Darrin’s line, “It’s nothing to kid about”, the rest of the scene is cut.

Delicatessen intercut with Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: [speaking to the short order man] Yes, make it lean with lots of mustard. [she goes to the wall phone, makes a gesture, and dials]
  DARRIN: [answering phone] Hello . . .? Sam where are you!?
• Episode: SAMANTHA: [speaking to the short order man] A corn beef sandwich, please, and make it lean. With lots of mustard. Just put it on our account.[she goes to the phone]
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: What’s Bombay done to you?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll tell you. Apparently Dr. Bombay reversed the spell. Instead of the food coming to me, I go to the food.
• Episode: SAMANTHA: Darrin, if you’ll give me a chance. I’ll tell you. [a man brings the sandwich to her] [to waiter] Thank you! [back to Darrin] Apparently Dr. Bombay reversed the spell. Instead of the food coming to me, I go to the food.
  
  
• Script: SAMANTHA: Yes dear, as soon as I finish my sandwich. [she hangs up - - -addressing someone o. s.] How much? . . .95 cents? [she turns back to the phone, gestures to it. We hear a cascade of coins. She empties the slot.
• Episode: SAMANTHA: Yes dear, as soon as I finish my sandwich [she hangs up and goes back to the counter] Could I have a pickle, please?

ACT II

Hospital corridor:

• Script: SAMANTHA: I’m sorry sweetheart, but as soon as Dr. Bombay gets here, It’ll all be solved.
• Episode: [Added is] DARRIN: Stop!! [as Samantha starts to take another bite of the hot dog].
  
  
• Script: Calls for Dr. Bombay to ZAP himself into a white hospital uniform.
• Episode: Dr. Bombay ZAPS himself into scrubs.

Hospital Room:

• Script: ANTON: According to my examination, Mrs. Stephens isn’t due for a while.
• Episode: ANTON: According to my examination, Samantha isn’t due for a while.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: How long a while?
  ANTON: There’s nothing unusual . . . just a little false labor. . . you two go on home and I’ll be waiting for your call.
• Episode: “Labor” is changed to “alarm”, and the rest of the line is cut.

TRAILER

Hospital Reception Area:

• Script and Episode agree.

# 175, A Star Is Born (Aired as: And Something Makes Four)

REVIEWER’ NOTE: The script features Samantha, Darrin, and Uncle Arthur. In the episode, Uncle Arthur is replaced with Maurice. The episode lines are kept as close to the script lines as possible, diverging only to replace “uncle” with “grandfather”, “nephew” with “grandson”, and changes that reflect the different personalities of Arthur and Maurice.

TEASER

Stephens’ House:

• Script: In the wee hours of the night Darrin is seen running from the house to the garage, getting the car out, and leaving it in the driveway.
• Episode: The scene is filmed in rather bright light as if it were daytime.
  
  
• Script: DARRIN: It’s all set. The car is in the driveway with the door open and the motor running.
• Episode: DARRIN: It’s all set. The car is in the driveway with the motor open and the door running.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: It’s not even my first baby.
  DARRIN: Ten minutes to three. I wonder why expectant mothers always go to the hospital in the middle of the night?
  SAMANTHA: It’s a tradition. And there’s less traffic.
  DARRIN: Honey, sit down.
  SAMANTHA: What for?
  DARRIN: I’ll back the car out.
  SAMANTHA: You already did.
• Episode: After Samantha’s first line, the remainder of this scene is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: Okay. Then let’s go - - -and don’t forget your suitcase.
  SAMANTHA: I thought maybe you’d carry it for me.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

ACT I

Hospital Lobby:

• Script: [Darrin is filling out the admissions form]
  DARRIN: What do we do about questions like “Patient’s date and place of birth?”
  SAMANTHA: What did we do last time?
  DARRIN: We lied.
  SAMANTHA: Then let’s be consistent.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Uncle Arthur POPS in].
  Uncle Arthur: Sammy, I just got the message. And I hear you have a special delivery for us.
• Episode: [It is Maurice who has POPPED in.]
  MAURICE: Samantha, my dearest. The hallowed time has arrived.
  
  
• Script:
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Not too friendly is he?
  SAMANTHA: [to Darrin] I didn’t tell . . .[to Uncle Arthur] How did you find out?
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Esmeralda. I was painting the cosmos and I dropped in at your house for a nightcap. [He waves his arms and his costume changes to a flannel nightshirt and an old-fashioned nightcap].
  DARRIN: Uncle Arthur, knock it off! [Uncle Arthur waves his arms and changes his attire back to normal].
  SAMANTHA: Thank you. And goodbye . . .
  UNCLE ARTHUR: What do you mean, goodbye . . .
  DARRIN: She means goodbye as in get out of here immediately.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: But Sammy’s going to have a baby.
• Episode: [The entire above is cut and replaced with]:
  MAURICE: I would have you know, you earth bound clod, that I am not just anyone! I was attending an interplanetary banquet in my honor when I felt the vibrations of impending maternity.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: See you later, Sweetheart.
  SAMANTHA: Okay . . .and don’t worry . . .maybe Uncle Arthur will be a counter-irritant.
• Episode: Samantha’s line is changed to: “Try not to think of this as a problem. Think of it as a chance for you and Daddy to get better acquainted.”

Hospital Waiting Room:

• Script:
  UNCLE ARTHUR: This is getting dullsville.
  DARRIN: Then leave.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: And such a nothing atmosphere. Maybe I’ll redecorate. [ He flicks his fingers and the furniture becomes sleek, modern, and colorful].
  DARRIN: Stop horsing around! And don’t use that as an excuse to pop in a pony.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: [disdainfully] Spoilsport.
  DARRIN: Arthur, you could drive a man to drink. [Arthur gestures and in POPS a pretty cocktail waitress, a la a Playboy Bunny, holding a tray]
  WAITRESS: [to group - -confused] Can I bring you boys anything from the bar? [Davis looks up, catches a glimpse of her just as Arthur POPS her out]
  DAVIS: [to Darrin] Did you just see a beautiful girl?
  DARRIN: [playing dumb] Where?
  DAVIS I must be getting punchy. I’ve been here six hours.
  DARRIN: Is this your first child?
  DAVIS: Uh huh. And I’m sort of tense because my wife is having it late in life. She’s twenty-two.
  ARTHUR: You call that late? His wife is pushing five hundred.
  DARRIN: [to Davis] Ignore him. He tries to relax people with silly jokes . .
• Episode: This scene is cut.

REVIEWER'S NOTE: The delivery room nurse, who brings the baby to Darrin is referred to in the script as Mrs. Nelson, and Mrs. Hogan. In the episode she is referred to as Mrs. Horgan.

• Script:
  DAVIS: What happened to the cigar?
  UNCLE ARTHUR: You finished it.
• Episode: MAURICE: You swallowed it.
  
  
• Script: [Uncle Arthur’s incantation to make people love the baby]:
  Special baby full of grace . . .
  So tiny and so new . . .
  Whatever mortal sees your face . . .
  Will fall in love with you.
• Episode: [Maurice’s incantation to make people love the baby]:

Precious package full of grace . . .
Incandescent and so new . .
Whatever mortal sees your face . . .
Will fall in love with you.

• Script: The nurse with the wheelchair from the night before comes by. Arthur wants to see if his spell is working.
• Episode: The nurse is the admissions nurse from the night before.
  
  
• Script: THE NIGHT SUPERVISOR [MRS. HORGAN}: Why that’s the most magnificent child I’ve seen in forty years of nursing.
• Episode: “Forty years” becomes “Twenty years”.

ACT II

Hospital Corridor:

• Script: [Two nurses, other than the ones seen the previous evening, are oohing and ahing over the Stephens’ baby. Another nurse joins the group]
  FIRST NURSE: Isn’t that Stephens’ baby enchanting?
  SECOND NURSE: [new arrival] Absolutely captivating.
  DAY SUPERVISOR: All right ladies, I know it’s hard to tear ourselves away but it’s time for visiting hours. [She glances at the Stephens’ baby] That child is precious, isn’t he? [They all sigh and exit].
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Samantha’s Hospital Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: I saw him last night.
  SAMANTHA: Speaking objectively, what would you say he is, sensational or terrific?
  DARRIN: Both.
  SAMANTHA: I’m proud of you.
  DARRIN: Me?
  SAMANTHA: Sure . . .it’s the father who determines the sex of the child. You have a perfect score . . .a boy and a girl.
  DARRIN: [smiles] We have to decide on a name.
  SAMANTHA: I thought we decided. Frank for your father . . . .Maurice for my father.
  DARRIN: Yeah . . .but we haven’t decided who gets first billing.
  SAMANTHA: The father of the father should get first billing. Frank Maurice Stephens.
  DARRIN: I certainly hope the father of the mother agrees.
• Episode: The above scene is cut, except for Darrin’s first line.

REVIEWER’S NOTE: The script refers to Mr. Busby and Busby Baby Foods throughout the remainder of the script. In the episode the name is changed from “Busby” to “Berkley”.

• Script: [Uncle Arthur POPS in]
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Hi, gang. What’s new?
  SAMANTHA: You tell us.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: [relating gossip] Well, your cousin Serena has a crush on a new warlock. He won’t give her a tumble, but . . .
  SAMANTHA: I mean among mortals?
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Oh, them. How would I know?
• Episode: This part of the scene is cut. It is Maurice who POPS in.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: [mad] So you admit it. You tossed around some voodoo.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: [with distain] You’re square, aren’t you?
  SAMANTHA: Uncle Arthur, please.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: [musing] A mural. I wish I had thought of that.
  SAMANTHA: I have a feeling you did.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: [pleases with himself] Well I did conjure up a little spell to make every mortal who sees my little nephew go gaga.
  DARRIN: [to Arthur] You undo that spell immediately or I’ll gaga you right in the mouth.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Is that a threat, buster?
  DARRIN: Yes, buster, it is.
• Episode: The above is cut and replaced with:
  DARRIN: [mad] So, you admit it. You tossed around some voodoo.
  MAURICE: Let’s say I gave the natural an assist from the supernatural.
  SAMANTHA: You cast a spell to make whoever saw our baby fall in love with it.
  MAURICE: Indeed I did.
  DARRIN: Well, we demand that you undo that spell immediately.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Sweetheart, you shouldn’t have threatened him [Uncle Arthur].
  DARRIN: You shouldn’t have asked me to say I was sorry.
  SAMANTHA: [trying rationale] On the other hand, if you hadn’t threatened him in the first place, then he wouldn’t have gotten upset and I wouldn’t have asked you to . . .
  DARRIN: [interrupting] Sam. [she shuts up]
  SAMANTHA: Uncle Arthur, Uncle Arthur.
• Episode: All except the first last lines are cut, and the last line is changed to: “ Daddy, daddy”.

Hospital Corridor:

• Script: [Davis enters with his parents]
  DAVIS: Mom . . .Dad . . .this is it. Your first look at your first grand child.
  MRS. DAVIS, SR,: He’s adorable.
  DAVIS, SR.: Hello, grandson.
  MRS. DAVIS, SR.: Ralph, look at this one. [they look at the Stephens’ baby].
  DAVIS: What are you doing?
  DAVIS, SR.: I’m taking his picture.
  DAVIS: But that’s the wrong baby. Billy’s over here.
  MRS. DAVIS, SR.: He can take Billy’s picture later.
  DAVIS, SR.: If I have enough film.
  DAVIS: Why do you want pictures of . . .[he looks at the Stephens’ baby] Make sure you get his profile. [in POPS Endora]
  ENDORA: Which one is the Stephens’ boy?
  DAVIS, SR.: This one. Get in line.
  ENDORA: But I’m his grandmother. [not being mortal, the spell does not bother her] Hello there, precious.
  MRS. DAVIS, SR.: [to Endora] You’re a lucky woman. This is the most beautiful baby in the world.
  DAVIS, SR.: The others pale in comparison.
  ENDORA: That’s true - -but how gracious of you to admit it.
  DAVIS: This baby is something else.
  ENDORA: [chuckling] Yes, isn’t he.
• Episode: This entire scene is cut.

Samantha’s Hospital Room:

• Script: [Endora POPS in]
  ENDORA: [indicating Darrin] I suppose it was his idea not to tell me about the baby.
  SAMANTHA: [covering] No mother . . .it’s just that . . .everything happened so fast. I was going to get in touch with you today . . .how did you find out?
• Episode: These lines are cut.

Skeet Club:

• Script: [Samantha has asked Endora to find Uncle Arthur. Endora thinks it is his afternoon for skeet shooting and goes to the “Warlock Skeet Club”. Endora finds Arthur shooting skeet very successfully. The unique thing is he does not have a gun. He holds his arms as if he were holding a rifle, squeezes his finger against thin air, and we hear a “bang” and the target breaks.]
  ENDORA: Arthur.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: [tersely] Quiet, I’m concentrating. [another clay pigeon, another hit]
  ENDORA: Arthur, Samantha wants you to remove that spell.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: No. Darwin was rude to me. Besides, I’m on a hot streak. [another target, another hit.
  ENDORA: Well, they can’t say I didn’t plead with you. [She turns to leave as another target is launched. Grasping an invisible pistol, she fires over her shoulder and the target explodes].
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Beginner’s luck!
• Episode: The entire scene is cut.

Samantha’s Hospital Room:

• Script: [Endora POPS in]
  ENDORA: Uncle Arthur refuses.
• Episode: The line is changed to, “Your daddy is a very stubborn man”.

Hospital Corridor:

• Script: SAMANTHA: When the Witches’ Council finds out . . .the Witches’ Council that wants my marriage to get as little publicity as possible . . they’ll be so angry they’ll drum Uncle Arthur right out of the corps.
• Episode: The last part is changed to, “They’ll be so angry they’ll call the Warlocks Shakespearian Society and have Daddy expelled!
  
  
• Script: Uncle Arthur’s spell to remove the love spell on the baby:

The magic from my spell has flown . . .
From this moment on it’s to each his own.

• Episode: Maurice’s spell:

The magic from my spell be flown . . .
From this moment on it’s to each his own.

• Script: [The people return their attention to their own children. Samantha quickly extends her arms to incant a postscript].
  SAMANTHA: And so repercussions won’t be rotten . . .all that’s happened will be forgotten.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: [distastefully] That’s not very good Sammy.
  SAMANTHA: I’m a witch not a poet.
• Episode: The above lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: ACT II ends with Larry getting pictures of Berkley’s granddaughter.
• Episode: Added is a conversation/argument between Maurice and Endora over where he was and what he was doing before he flew to Endora’s bedside at Samantha’s birth. The scene ends with them both oohing like typical grandparents at the baby.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Driveway:

• Script: Calls for the car to pull into the driveway, Darrin to help Samantha out, and for them to walk to the front door.
• Episode: The scene starts with Darrin and Samantha coming in the front door.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: A toy rattle materializes and flies around the room before landing in Darrin’s arms beside the baby.
• Episode: The rattle materializes and flies directly to the baby.

# 176, Naming Samantha’s New Baby

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script:
  ENDORA: Oh. Sorry I didn’t see you, Durwood. [a] One-dimensional objects tend to have a tendency to fade into the background.
  DARRIN: Thanks, and the name is Darrin.
  ENDORA: That’s your problem. [b] Actually I only have a few minutes to spare.
  DARRIN: [c] Somehow you can stay longer in a few minutes than most people can in a week.
  SAMANTHA: [crossing between them] Now stop it, both of you.
  ENDORA: That’s all right my dear. I only came to see my grandson and warn you about something.
• Episode: Lines [a], [b], and [c] are cut. Added to Endora’s last line is, “But if that’s his attitude”. [she POPS out]
  
  
• Script: DARRIN: [alarmed] Sam, what are you doing? My parents are going to be here in less than an hour! [a] And you know how much Endora enjoys sinking her fangs into my father.
• Episode: Line [a] is cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha brings the baby downstairs and crosses to Endora and Darrin. Script Note: Insert real baby after Samantha gets downstairs.]
  ENDORA There’s my little beauty! Samantha, he looks exactly like you.
  SAMANTHA: But notice, he has Darrin’s eyes?
  ENDORA: Yes, but that’ll change if we’re lucky. [The door chimes o. s.]
  DARRIN: That’s my folks. [over casually] Wouldn’t you like to go upstairs and watch Tabitha while she’s napping.
  ENDORA: [maliciously] Why, I wouldn’t miss seeing your mother for the world.
  DARRIN: [muttering] That’s what I was afraid of. [He exits to the front door. Samantha puts the baby in a bassinette. A low rumble id heard o. s.]
  SAMANTHA: Oh, my goodness. Is that Daddy?
  ENDORA: [glances o. s.] No, it’s just a truck going by.
• Episode: Samantha puts the baby in the bassinette as soon as she comes downstairs. The door chimes. Darrin goes to answer it. All of the conversation lines are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  FRANK: [to Endora] [warmly] Nice to see you again.
  ENDORA: [extending her hand] A pleasure to see you, too. [She goes right by Phyllis’ extended hand and takes Frank’s. She continues to hold his hand as Phyllis stares.]
  PHYLLIS: [a] Samantha, do you think it’s wise to have so many visitors when you just came home from the hospital? [b] I mean, if you’d told us you already had company, we could have delayed our visit. Even though I’ve been waiting all week to see the baby.
• Episode: Phyllis does not extend her hand to Endora. Endora does not hold onto Frank’s hand. Phyllis’ line [a] is in the episode, but line [b] is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  FRANK: Why not? For my namesake? [there is another rumble o. s. Samantha turns to Endora in apprehension]
  SAMANTHA: Did that sound like distant thunder to you?
  ENDORA: Yes, and not too distant, either.
• Episode: There is no rumble. Samantha and Endora’s lines are cut.

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script:
  DARRIN: I planted this the day the baby was born. Reviewer’s note: This exact line was first heard in # 152.
  FRANK: Very nice, but what was so urgent?
  DARRIN: I . . . .I wanted you to see it before it got any bigger.
  PHYLLIS: Darrin, do you have a fever?
• Episode: All but Darrin’s first line are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [A car drives through the wall and Maurice steps out]
  MAURICE: Samantha, my darling.
  SAMANTHA: [low – urgently] Daddy, quick! [a] Get that car out of here. Darrin’s parents are here!
  MAURICE: His parents? [seeing Endora] Oh, and you, too, Endora. Well, my cup runneth over. –He waves and the car and driver POP out.
• Episode: Maurice arrives in a cloud of smoke and a series of explosions, not in a car. Samantha’s line [a] is deleted, as is the car POPPING out.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: They do if he says so.
  MAURICE: Do you know where a baby’s smile is born? In the pale beam of a vanishing moon, brushed by the whisper of a summer cloud and washed in the dream of a dewy morn.
  DARRIN: Gee, and I thought it was born at Lakeside Hospital.
• Episode: Maurice and Darrin’s lines are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: Oh, do tell us what it is! [Darrin makes a desperate effort to get his parents out of the room]
  DARRIN: Oh, hey. The pictures I took of you at Tabitha’s birthday party? I just got them back. Come on in the den and I’ll show them to you.
  PHYLLIS: What’s the matter with you Darrin? You sent them to us.
  DARRIN: I did?
• Episode: All but Endora’s line is cut.
  
  
• Script: Maurice:

Hear these words, oh new-born child,
On whom the universe has smiled.
With this flower I do shed
The gift of laughter on your head.

• Episode: Added is:
  MAURICE: If it doesn’t fit, you can exchange it.
  
  
• Script:
  PHYLLIS: [After Maurice’s temper tantrum has broken a lamp, etc.] What was that all about?
  DARRIN: [surveying the damage] About 250 dollars the way I figure it.
• Episode: Darrin’s line is changed to:
  DARRIN: About 150 dollars, the way I figure it. Actually it was just some kind of earth tremor.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: And if I choose not to?
  MAURICE: Endora, how would you like to be the first woman to land on Mars?
  Endora: Well, as long as you put it that way . . .[She waves and POPS out]
• Episode:
  MAURICE: Endora, now would you like a little trip to Mars?
  ENDORA: Oh, but it’s dull there this time of year.
  MAURICE: But you’ll liven it up.
  ENDORA: Well, as long as you put it that way . . .[She waves and POPS out]
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Darrin’s absolutely right! It wasn’t fair to do that to his mother.
  MAURICE: Oh, stop this infernal bickering! [he waves] There. I’ve removed the spell. Now can we talk about the baby’s name?
• Episode: [Before the script lines, the following lines are inserted]
  MAURICE: There’s nothing more to be said.
  DARRIN: Yeah, but . . .
  MAURICE: Apparently that isn’t going to keep you from saying it.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: The baby’s name is Frank!
  SAMANTHA: Excuse me. [she exits quickly up the stairs]
  DARRIN: May I show you something? [He goes to a table, pulls open a drawer and takes out a paper. Holding it up] See! It’s an accomplished fact. The baby’s name is on the birth certificate. [CAMERA ON PAPER – in bold letters – FRANK MAURICE STEPHENS.]
  MAURICE: Take another look [FRANK POPS off of the birth certificate]
  DARRIN: Okay, that does it! Now look . . . .
• Episode: This scene is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: . . . . .not meaning any disrespect, but it’s none of your business! [Maurice freezes and starts to steam]
  SAMANTHA: Now, Father, please control yourself! How many times have you said that even though he’s a mortal, Darrin has the courage of his convictions?
  MAURICE: I Believe I said the courage of his confusions.
• Episode: Samantha and Maurice’s lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Maurice has ZAPPED Darrin into the mirror]
  SAMANTHA: Daddy, I’m going to count to three and I want Darrin out of there by that time. One . . .two . . .three [a] . . .[There is a long pause while Darrin waits anxiously]. Finally, Samantha returns to the mirror. [b] [to Darrin] Dear, would you like something to read? This is going to take a little longer than I thought.
• Episode: After [a], there is a long pause and Samantha has added a subdued questioning, “four?”. At [b], the rest of Samantha’s line is cut.

ACT II

Stephens’ Living Room – later:

• Script:
  FRANK: . . . .When did you take out the patent on this process?
  MAURICE Oh, many, many years ago. [they exit. Phyllis starts to follow]
  PHYLLIS [calling] Now Frank, Don’t get yourself all worked up. [to Samantha] Most men can’t wait to retire so they can relax and enjoy their families. He can’t wait to get back to business. [She shakes her head and exits to the patio. As Samantha watches her off, Darrin knocks on the mirror to get her attention]
  SAMANTHA: Sweetheart, I’m terribly sorry about this.
  DARRIN: Never mind the sympathy. How do I get out of here?
  SAMANTHA: Sweetheart, I just wanted to remind you that we weren’t exactly thrilled about the name, Frank, ourselves. But you thought your father would expect it. You know we both preferred another name. Maybe….
  DARRIN: Absolutely not! I’ll not change the baby’s mane to suit your father’s whim. [as Phyllis appears in the patio doorway, unseen by Samantha or Darrin.]
  SAMANTHA Then just stay calm and try not to irritate him anymore.
  PHYLLIS: Samantha, who . . .who’re you talking to?
  SAMANTHA: I was just . . .humming a little song.
• Episode: After Maurice’s line, the rest of the scene is cut.

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script: [Frank and Maurice are seated on a patio couch. Maurice is nodding politely, apparently biding his time]
  FRANK: I still have a top credit rating and raising the necessary capital is no problem. And also, I’m very close to one of the top photo outfits in the country. I tell you, this is just what I have been looking for!
• Episode: This bit is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  FRANK: Pain in the neck, if you want to know.
  MAURICE: [suppressing a smile] You don’t say? . . .then the question naturally arises, do you want your grandson to suffer the same disadvantage?
  FRANK: Well, it was Samantha and Darrin’s idea. I couldn’t insult them by refusing.
  MAURICE: I know just how you feel. Perhaps . . .no, I don’t think it would be my place to mention that you would rather not have the baby named after you.
  FRANK: Why not? You’re Samantha’s father.
  MAURICE: [rising] Well, if you feel that strongly, I just may drop a hint about it.
  FRANK: [rising] Thanks. And what about my proposition?
  MAURICE: I’ll certainly consider it very carefully.
• Episode: The above is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Maurice has released Darrin from the mirror]
  DARRIN: [he blows on his hands to warm them]
  Thanks - - -for nothing.
• Episode: [Added line]: MAURICE: You’re welcome for nothing.
  
  
• Script:
  MAURICE: Nobody ever called me Morey.
  DARRIN: Sure, but were you ever a baby?
• Episode: Darrin’s line is cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  TABITHA: Mommy, the baby’s up.
  SAMANTHA: [rising] Oh, good. Would you like to watch while I change him?
• Episode: SAMANTHA: [rising] Oh, good. Maybe I better change him.
  
  
• Script: [Frank has returned:]
  FRANK: Well, I’ll think of something
  SAMANTHA: Incidentally - -my father mentioned that you’d rather we didn’t name the baby after you.
  FRANK: Well, now, I certainly don’t want to offend you . . .
  DARRIN: And we certainly don’t want to go against your wishes.
  SAMANTHA: So we decided to name the baby Adam, instead.
  FRANK: Adam? Very nice. Very nice. Well, I’ve got to run along. [He crosses to the door, stops turns:] Adam? What kind of a name is that?
• Episode: After Franks’ first line, the rest is cut.

# 177, To Trick or Treat or Not to Trick or Treat

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: The script calls for Samantha to be wearing maternity clothes and for witches’ costumes and masks to be strewn about. Tabitha is looking at herself in a portable standing mirror before she says her first line.
• Episode: Samantha does not wear maternity clothes [Adam was born two episodes before this one was aired]. Tabitha does not look in a mirror until Endora ZAPS a crown on her head. and then the mirror is one in the top of a dressing case.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: - - -[to Tabitha] I think your grandmama wants to have a little talk.
  TABITHA: Don’t worry, grandmama. I’m going to be Glinda, the good witch of the North.
• Episode: Tabitha’s line is cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: [Samantha and Darrin are in bed asleep. The alarm clock goes off. Darrin turns it off and gets out of bed. When he does the bench at the foot of the bed slides in his path and he stubs his toe against it]
  DARRIN: Yee-OW!
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, what’s the matter?
  DARRIN: I’ll tell you what’s the matter! What’s your mother doing here at this hour of the morning? That’s what’s the matter.
  SAMANTHA: What you just said doesn’t make any sense.
  DARRIN: Never mind. [As he pushes the bench out of the way, a chair slides in his path and he stumbles over it].
  SAMANTHA: I guess mother hasn’t forgotten about last night.
  DARRIN: Now listen to this, Endora - - -everything I said last night still goes. I will not have you interfering with the affairs of MY house and MY family. [The chair slides back out of the way] That’s the only way to treat your mother, be firm, stand your ground with her - -that’s what she respects.
  SAMANTHA: I certainly hope so. [Darrin proceeds into the bathroom]
  DARRIN’S VOICE: You know, honey . . .first thing this morning I have a meeting that might land me one of the biggest accounts I’ve ever had.
  SAMANTHA: Are you sure you’re up to it?
  DARRIN’S VOICE: I never felt better! It’s the Bartenbach toothpaste account and old man Bartenbach is a real bear! I’ve been working on the presentation all week.
  SAMANTHA: Are you sure you aren’t too tired? Maybe you ought to postpone the meeting . . . .until after Halloween.
  DARRIN’S VOICE: Who’s tired? I told you - - -I feel great. [Darrin emerges from the bathroom]
  SAMANTHA: Darrin . . .
  DARRIN: Hmmm?
  SAMANTHA: What’s that on your chin?
  DARRIN: Probably nicked myself. I shaved in a hurry.
  SAMANTHA: It doesn’t look like a cut. [Darrin looks in the mirror. A small wart has popped out on his chin.]
  DARRIN: Something must have bit me. Just wish me luck this morning.
  SAMANTHA: Oh, I do, I do!
• Episode: The entire scene is cut. Act I begins in Darrin’s office.

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: Darrin enters his office. He puts his hand to his chin and feels something. He realizes that a large wart has popped out on his chin.
• Episode: This is the first appearance of the chin wart.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: Oh thank you, Larry. I’m glad you like it.
  LARRY: Let’s hope Bartenbach likes it . . .and remember if he doesn’t be ready to swing with back up ideas.
• Episode: The last half of Larry’s line is cut and replaced with, “as much as I do”.
  
  
• Script: Bartenbach enters. He looks like Teddy Roosevelt, all teeth.
• Episode: Bartenbach bears no resemblance to Roosevelt.

Street –Darrin in His Car:

• Script: Darrin is pulled over by a cop for running a red light.
  DARRIN: [weakly] Hello, officer.
• Episode: Added is:
  DARRIN: I guess this isn’t my lucky day.
  OFFICER: I don’t suppose you get lucky very often.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  ENDORA’S VOICE: Well, Samantha . . .I see you’re still determined to perform this treacherous folly!
  SAMANTHA: Mother, don’t overdramatize - - [a] and I want to know what you’ve been up to. [Without materializing, Endora POPS an ornate Samovar on the table and pours herself a cup of exotic brew.].
  ENDORA’S VOICE: Durwood has a lesson to learn. He’s fortunate to have me to teach it to him. [The coffee cup tips a final time and returns to the saucer] [b]
  SAMANTHA: Okay, Mother, let’s make an appearance and have this out!
  ENDORA’S VOICE: I refuse to be exposed to the contamination of the . . .[She picks up a couple of masks by witchcraft] . . .prevailing atmosphere. I enjoyed our little coffee break.[c]
• Episode: Endora is present for the scene, but the bit with the Samovar is cut. Samantha’s line after [a] is cut. The lines between [b] and [c] are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin enters. He looks like a witch]
  DARRIN: Endora - -I want you to know I’m fully aware that this time I’m fully responsible for your irascible behavior. [a] I had it all coming.
  SAMANTHA: Darrin . . .
  DARRIN: Don’t interrupt me, Sam. When I’ve been wrong, I want to admit my mistake. [b] And Endora, I do owe you an apology.
• Episode: The lines between [a] and [b] are cut.

ACT II

Darrin’s Office:

• Script:
  DARRIN: [grimly] I’m sure Samantha had a good reason. [a]
  LARRY: [b] What reason? [gesturing dramatically] What could be more important than millions of starving children?
  DARRIN: Look - -whatever Samantha’s reason, she’s only one individual and I’m sure the starving children . . .[c]
  LARRY: Never mind them! What about our client? We stand to lose one of the biggest accounts we ever had. All right, I’m sure Sam has a good reason for what she did. I would suggest you find out what it is and do something about it - -[d] or there is going to be a big charity cause right here in this office.
• Episode: After [a] is added, “I think I know what it is!” The lines between [b] and [c], as well as the lines after [d] are cut.

Street Scene:

• Script: [Darrin , looking very much like Tiny Tim and wearing a cape, is surrounded by a cluster of children Trick-or-Treating. They ring the bell, and a woman looks out]
  CHILDREN: Trick-or-Treat! Trick-or-Treat. [In the center of them Darrin holds up his UNICEF container and smiles his toothless hag smile at her. The woman stares in astonishment at Darrin]
  LITTLE GIRL: Better watch out! It’s a real witch! [The woman nods dumbly, staring at Darrin, absently putting all of her candy in the children’s sacks, then gets her purse and stuffs money into the UNICEF kitty.]
  DARRIN: Happy Halloween.
• Episode: [After Darrin smiles at the woman]
  WOMAN: Who’s your big friend?
  LITTLE GIRL: Better watch out! It’s a real witch! [The woman puts one piece of candy in each sack]
  WOMAN: One for you, one for you, etc. [She then does the same for each UNICEF container]
  DARRIN: Happy Halloween. The big witch thanks you.

UNICEF Office:

• Script: BARTENBACH: I’ve come up with another great idea. [a] I can see it now all over the country. The billboards. . .the ugly old witch with the caption, “Don’t look like a witch, use Bartenbach products”.
• Episode: The lines after [a] are cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, haven’t you always said you like to base your campaign on positive rather than negative concepts?
  DARRIN: [hoping] Yes . . . [a] [Samantha makes a gesture and is suddenly Glinda the good witch of the north]
• Episode: After [a], Samantha has the line, “Well then, how about Glinda, the good witch of the north?”, added.

Entry Hall:

• Script: [Darrin answers the front door. He opens it to show Larry and Bartenbach there. As Darrin opens the door he is ZAPPED from witch form to his normal self. Larry and Bartenbach are both dazed, not sure of what they have seen. In the background, Endora POPS out.
  LARRY: Didn’t I just see your mother-in-law disappear?
• Episode: Darrin is changed to his normal form before he opens the door. Larry’s line is changed to, “Didn’t I just see Robin Hood Disappear?”

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha puts her arm through Darrin’s]
  SAMANTHA: Me too! [FADE OUT]
• Episode: [Samantha and Darrin hug and kiss before the fadeout]

# 178, A Bunny For Tabitha

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: They have. It’s called a daddy. [a] Am I straight [indicating letters]
  DARRIN: No, you’re a little . . .[he twists one shoulder higher, showing in which direction she’s cockeyed] Samantha, are you sure Tabitha understands that she’s got to play it cool with all these kids in the house?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, will you stop worrying and blow up the rest of those balloons?
• Episode: The lines after [a] are cut.
  
  
• Script: Arthur pulls a pin from his lapel to pop the balloons.
• Episode: Arthur uses his finger.
  
  
• Script: ARTHUR: You’ll never get it - -Napoleon Balloon-apart.[a] [He laughs wildly, waves and the balloons all inflate].
• Episode: [After [a] is added:]
  DARRIN: It took me an hour to blow up those balloons.
  ARTHUR: What a waste of hot air.
  
  
• Script:
  ARTHUR . . . . .Tabitha, your favorite uncle is here! [he POPS out] [a]
  DARRIN: [in alarm] Sam, you’re not going to let him stay for the party?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, he’s such a dear, I just can’t hurt his feelings.
  DARRIN: What feelings?
  SAMANTHA: I’m surprised at you. Don’t you realize that underneath that brash exterior there’s just a frightened little boy?
  DARRIN: It’s one of the best disguises I’ve ever seen. [Tabitha enters from the patio]
  TABITHA: Mommy, he doesn’t like it!
  SAMANTHA: Who doesn’t like what, dear?
  TABITHA: Uncle Arthur’s donkey doesn’t like it when I pin a tail on him. [A donkey’s bray is heard and a donkey sticks his head in from the patio, followed by Arthur.]
  DARRIN: You’re . . .you’re playing Pin The Tail On The Donkey with . . .with a live donkey!
  ARTHUR: What did you expect to play it with . . . .a goose? [Arthur exits back to the patio]
  DARRIN: Sam, get rid of that goose . . .uh . . .uh . . .donkey.
  SAMANTHA: [urgently] I will, I will.
  DARRIN: And while you’re at it, get rid of Arthur [low] Sam, if he stays, we’re bound to have a disaster!
  SAMANTHA: Sweetheart, believe me, at a children’s birthday party, a disaster won’t even be noticed. [Samantha giggles, Darrin glares]
• Episode: After [a] the entire scene is cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room intercut with Larry’s Office:

• Script:
  DARRIN: [on phone] . . .Can’t you stall him until tomorrow? [a]
  LARRY: [on phone] He’s leaving for his hunting lodge in the Berkshires tomorrow.
  DARRIN: You can handle it.
  LARRY: Sure, but it is your account. Can’t you just drop into the office for the meeting? It won’t take more than fifteen minutes.
  DARRIN: And what about the two hours it will take to drive there and back?
  LARRY: Here’s a novel idea. Pack the kids in the car and have the birthday party on the way.
  DARRIN: Shall I just pretend I didn’t hear that?
  LARRY: [deflated] Why don’t you?
  DARRIN: Good-bye, Larry. [he hangs up]
• Episode: All lines after [a] are cut.

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script: [Tabitha holds her wish box]
  TABITHA: Let’s see . . . what do I want?
  ARTHUR: Sammy, what do you say we give the kids a special treat?
  SAMANTHA: What did you have in mind?
  ARTHUR: I don’t know . . .for openers, I could turn each of them into an animal of their choice.
  TABITHA: Oh, they’d love that!
  SAMANTHA: Yes, but I’m afraid we both know somebody who wouldn’t love it at all.
• Episode: The above scene is completely cut. The episode scene opens with Arthur asking about doing some magic tricks.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: SAMANTHA: . . .Robert, it isn’t nice to punch Mary Ann in the stomach.
• Episode: “Mary Ann” is changed to “Annabelle”.

Stephens’ Den intercut with Larry’s outer office:

• Script: [Darrin and Larry talk to each other on the phone]
  LARRY: Apparently his girlfriend dumped him and he’s miserable. [a] Darrin I can feel this guy slipping through my fingers. Please - -can’t you get away and come down?
  DARRIN: Larry, I can’t possibly leave. [looking nervously o.s.] Especially right now. [b] Why don’t you take him out and buy him a drink?
• Episode: The lines between [a] and [b] are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Arthur has just finished his ring trick]
  ARTHUR: Now for my famous “Wish-a-Drink” trick. [He plucks a glass and pitcher out of the air. The children applaud wildly.] Will you cut that out!!!!! I’ll tell you when to applaud. [holding pitcher upside down] As you can see this vessel is completely empty, am I right?
  ALL BUT ONE: Yes!!
  ROBERT: No!
  ARTHUR: There’s one in every crowd. [to Robert] What makes you say this isn’t empty?
  ROBERT: It’s a trick pitcher. It’s got a fake bottom. [Arthur looks at him sourly]
  ARTHUR: Okay, forget the water trick!
• Episode: This scene is cut. The episode continues with the arrival of Larry and Mr. Sylvester, and goes on into Arthur’s rabbit trick.
  
  
• Script: [Spell to make the bunny go away]
  ARTHUR:

Close your fingers and cross your eyes,
Get ready for the next surprise,
Bats in the belfry, Pigs in a poke,
Lose this bunny before I choke.

• Episode: [The spell is modified to]

Close your fingers and cross your eyes,
Get ready for a new surprise,
Bats in the belfry, Pigs in a poke,
Lose this bunny before I choke.

ACT II

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  ARTHUR: . . .She’s not a playboy bunny. It’s Tabitha’s rabbit.
  SAMANTHA: [glumly] Terrific.
• Episode:
  ARTHUR: . . .She’s not a playboy bunny. She’s Tabitha’s rabbit.
  SAMANTHA: I don’t care what it is. Just change it back into what it was.
  ARTHUR: Don’t get shook, Sammy, but there is something wrong with my powers.
  SAMANTHA: Terrific.
  
  
• Script:
  SYLVESTER: May I ask how long you’re going to be staying?
  BUNNY: [vaguely] I don’t know. [a]
  SAMANTHA: That . . .depends on Uncle Arthur. [needling] Right, Uncle Arthur?
  ARTHUR: [low] You sure know how to hurt a magician.
  SYLVESTER: [to Bunny] I hope I have a chance to see more of you. [suddenly aware of the double-entendre] I mean . . . .see you again.
  BUNNY: Oh, I hope so, too.
• Episode: The lines after [a] are cut.
  
  
• Script: LARRY: Will you stop with the layouts? [a] The man’s carrying a torch. Let him enjoy himself. You’d be surprised how much more receptive he’ll be.
• Episode: The lines after [a] are cut.

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script: ARTHUR: . . .This party’s taken more out of me than a game of elephant polo. [he exits].
• Episode: [Added is]: SAMANTHA: Okay, whose the wise guy who dropped ice cream on my foot?

Cocktail Lounge:

• Script: [A drunk is at the bar. He sees Samantha and Arthur POP in. He reacts]
• Episode: [The Drunk gets up to leave. He sees Samantha and Arthur POP in]
  DRUNK: [turning back to the bar] Another double, Charlie.
  
  
• Script: SAMANTHA: Well, I went up to Larry, put my left hand on his right shoulder and spoke the magic words.
• Episode: SAMANTHA: . . . .I put my right hand on his right shoulder . . .[she uses her right hand]
  
  
• Script: ARTHUR: Is that any way to talk to an uncle? [Samantha twitches and Arthur POPS in, perched on the back of the booth.]
• Episode: [Added is]:
  DRUNK: Thanks, Charlie.[Samantha and Arthur POP out. The drunk has again turned to start out, sees them POP out, turns back to the bar] Another double, Charlie.
  
  
• Script: [Samantha and Arthur stand on the back of the booth, in miniature form. They are not visible to the others]
  SYLVESTER: Maybe we should have told them we were leaving.
  BUNNY: Oh, I’m sure they won’t even notice that we are gone.
  SAMANTHA: [sarcastically to Arthur] Can’t you take her out of her misery?
  ARTHUR: I’m trying! I’m trying! I’m just off my feed today.
• Episode: The entire above bit is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Really, Uncle Arthur, you have no sense of moral responsibility. [a]
  ARTHUR: [indignant] That’s a fine way to talk after all I’ve done for you.
  SAMANTHA: You don’t mean FOR me, you mean TO me.
• Episode: The lines after [a] are cut.
  
  
• Script: [Arthur POPS out. Samantha twitches and fades into solid visible form]
  SAMANTHA: [to Sylvester] Well, hello there!
• Episode: [Arthur POPS out. Samantha POPS from the booth to full size in the entry. The drunk is again preparing to leave]
  DRUNK: See ya, Charlie. [He sees Samantha POP in, reacts, turns back to the bar] Call me a cab, Charlie.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Samantha and Bunny have brought dishes from the dining room]
  SAMANTHA: You can’t do it, you know. Sooner or later - - -and I think it’ll be sooner - -you’re going to be your old self again.
  BUNNY: I don’t care! It’ll be fun while it lasts!
• Episode: The scene is cut.

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script:
  SYLVESTER: What a temper! [a]
  DARRIN: Maybe it’s better to find out about it now. [b]
  LARRY: I’ve never seen anyone so furious. [c]
  SAMANTHA: Yes. You might even say she was . . .rabid. [d] Oh, I completely forgot about the dessert. Anyone for carrot pie? [e]
• Episode: The line between [a] and [b] is cut. The line between [c] and [d] is given to Darrin and changed to: “Yes. You might even say she was hopping mad”. After [e] is added: “ String bean sundae?”

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  ARTHUR: Ice to see you again.
  DARRIN: [disgusted] Oh, brother.
  SAMANTHA: [a] Uncle Arthur, this is no time for jokes. [b] and you better get out of there before you kick the bucket.
• Episode: The line between [a] and [b] is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ARTHUR: . . . .went to Doctor Bombay. Got a recharge
  DARRIN: That quack?
• Episode:
  ARTHUR: . . .went to Doctor Bombay. Got a recharge right in my . . . .
  DARRIN: Will you spare us the details!

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script: SAMANTHA: It’s not his fault dear. You know how fast rabbits multiply. [a][Darrin sinks into a chair, bows his head and holds up his glass for a refill. Samantha and Arthur laugh together hysterically. They stifle their laughter as Samantha goes to fix Darrin another drink.]
• Episode: After [a], Samantha and Arthur break into hysterical laughter. Darrin does not sit down. He hands his drink to Samantha who gives it to Arthur. Samantha and Arthur continue their riotous laughter into the FADE OUT.

# 180, Daddy Comes to Visit

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Maurice has registered Adam at the Warlock's Club. Samantha asks, "At the age of five weeks?"
• Episode: Samantha asks, "At the age of ten weeks?” Note: Throughout the episode, where Samantha says, "ten weeks," the script calls for "five weeks".
  
  
• Script: After Maurice gives Darrin the watch, and Darrin refuses it, the script has lines where Maurice tells Darrin that he can use the watch just to tell time, and then commands him to take it. Darrin refuses to take the watch as a timepiece only, and refutes Maurice's command.
• Episode: Omitted.
  
  
• Script: Maurice turns Darrin into a St. Bernard.
• Episode: Maurice turns Darrin into a Rottweiler and a bit is added where Samantha feeds the dog.

End of Teaser

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Episode: A line is added where Maurice again asks Darrin to take the watch.
• Script: After Maurice says, "Why don't we meet half way", Darrin asks, "Half way to where?" to which Maurice replies that once Darrin gets used to the unlimited power, he won't want to be without it.
• Episode: Omitted.
  
  
• Script: Maurice says Darrin's powers start tomorrow morning.
• Episode: Omitted.
  
  
• Script: After Darrin says, "listen to the traffic bulletins," he tells Maurice that he has certain principles to live by, and Maurice replies that he doesn't have to live at all.
• Episode: Omitted.

Stephens' Kitchen (later):

• Script: After Maurice says, "Bite your tongue!" Samantha says it would certainly make his (Adam) home life easier. Maurice speaks about the never-ending conflicts with Darrin and that he is glad that Darrin accepted the watch. Samantha replies that he only did it to keep from spending the rest of his life wagging his tail.
• Episode: Omitted.
  
  
• Script: The conversation between Samantha and Maurice continues with Maurice bringing up what happens if someone's life is in danger, and that if there is only a little chink in Darrin's armor, he'll be defenseless. Samantha defends Darrin, finally asking Maurice why he treats Darrin as an opponent.
• Episode: Omitted.
  
  
• Script: Samantha tells Maurice he is setting the father-in-law business back a hundred years, and Maurice pops out.
• Episode: Maurice pops out before the line.

Chinese Restaurant:

• Script: At the end of the "Quicksilver" speech, after the line "--Sparkle of a star", the script calls for: "For twenty-four hours you will obey my will and indulge in the use of my gift".
• Episode: The lines are changed to: " Go to that board meeting, listen and learn, and once you have tasted the forbidden fruit, you'll love it."   View this Spell in Spellbound!

Stephens' Nursery:

• Script: After Darrin leaves the restaurant, but before the boardroom scene is shown, there is a long dialog between Maurice and Samantha. Maurice notes that Darrin is good company, that they had lunch together, that Darrin is very good at what he does, and will become even better with the use of witchcraft. Samantha, not knowing Maurice has put a spell on Darrin to get him to use witchcraft, does not totally understand the situation.
• Episode: Omitted.

Darrin's Office:

• Script: After Darrin tells Larry that he is never wrong; Larry informs Darrin that he has invited Bliss, Jr. to dinner at Darrin's house because the campaign is Darrin's idea.
• Episode: Omitted.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Reference is again made to the baby being five-weeks old.
• Episode: The baby is ten-weeks old.

# 181, Darrin, the Warlock

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Maurice asks the baby if a man of unlimited power would like a fancy breakfast. After the baby gurgles, Maurice remarks that the baby agrees with him.
• Episode: Omitted.

Stephens' Kitchen (scene on refrigerator):

• Script: Repeats Darrin's lines from # 180 script about driving to work and having principles to live by. Also repeats Maurice's lines about trying his patience, and Darrin not having to live.
• Episode: Cut to only what was aired in # 180.
  
  
• Script: The scene in the boardroom where Darrin finds out about Bliss's preference is shown on the refrigerator.
• Episode: Omitted.

Stephens' Dining Room: