By Wizzy with contributions from Paul and Si

A review of a Bewitched Police blotter shows that law enforcement officers were called to investigate a number of disturbances or suspicious persons around the 1164 Morning Glory Circle dwelling over the show's eight-year run.

Whether it was from a Disturbing the Peace charge by one of the so-called "relatives" of the Stephens family (usually witnessed in strange historical costume), a burglary by Mr. Stephens to retrieve a black Peruvian rose or a cinnamon stick, or the reported theft of an antique bed warmer while the Stephens vacationed in Salem, MA, it would seem that the officers were just steps away from uncovering a bigger truth about the Westport family that never surfaced.

In most of the cases, we would find that the investigating officers simply stated that they "did not see anything" unusual to report, and shortly thereafter requested some rest and relaxation time away from their stressful duties.

Here's how it went down:


# 4, "It Shouldn’t Happen to a Dog"
Catching sight of activity down an alley, a Police Officer (Karl Lukas) and his partner discover a disheveled housewife looking for her lost dog. Mrs. Darrin Stephens was escorted home, with assurances that the officers would find and return her dog.


# 22, "Eye of the Beholder"
While investigating a car that had been left in front of the park all day, Officer Kern (Mark Tapscott) and his partner discover a distraught Darrin Stephens with a woman not his wife (or so they assume), and encourage him to return home.


# 23, "Red Light, Green Light"
A Policeman (Robert Dorman) tries to keep the peace at a traffic jam caused by a mass rally for community traffic signals. Also in the blotter is a crackpot report that a London Bobby was spotted in the living room of a Morning Glory Circle resident. Oddly enough, at about the same time, a report came across the international news wire that a London traffic officer had vanished mysteriously from his post.


# 25, "Pleasure O’Reilly"
Darrin Stephens reports to the Police Sergeant (William Woodson) that next door neighbor Pleasure O'Reilly is being threatened by her ex-boyfriend, football star Thor “Thunderbolt” Swenson.


# 26, "Driving Is the Only Way To Fly"
Drivers Ed student Samantha Stephens simply waves back at an officer who is trying to flag her down.


# 27, "There’s No Witch Like an Old Witch"
Judge Virgil Winner (Gilbert Green) presides over a hearing to determine if Aunt Clara is a competent babysitter. The Judge finds her to be charming, and hires her as his own son’s sitter.


# 39, "We’re In for a Bad Spell"
Detective (Richard X. Slattery) accompanies Mr. Abercrombie, a bank manager, to the Stephens home to investigate the theft of $75,000 from his bank.


# 42, "Take Two Aspirin and Half a Pint of Porpoise Milk"
A Police Sergeant (Larry Mann) and Officer (Ray Hastings) deal with the repeatedly strange behavior of a Darrin Stephens, who is arrested for stealing an ostrich feather from a woman’s hat, and burglarizing the home of horticulturist Mr. Norton.


# 44, "The Very Informal Dress"
Judge Crosetti (Hardie Albright) finds the account of an unclothed Darrin Stephens to be preposterous, despite the testimony of two policemen (Dick Balduzzi and Gene Darfler).


# 48, "A Strange Little Visitor"
A Policeman (Dick Balduzzi) intercepts a burglar at the Stephens' home after he is captured by Merle, a child whom the Stephens were baby-sitting.


# 50, "Speak the Truth"
A Policeman (Mort Mills) has a strange encounter with an overly truthful Darrin Stephens, and also finds himself oddly more truthful than he would have liked.


# 63, "The Leprechaun"
Brian, a man alleging to be a Leprechaun, is jailed.


#s 66 and 67, "Follow That Witch, Parts 1 and 2"
# 71, "The Catnapper"
Private detective Charlie Leech (Robert Strauss) mercilessly hounds average American housewife Samantha Stephens, in an apparent attempt to dredge up dirt on her husband, an advertising executive.


# 80, "Endora Moves In for a Spell"
A Desk Sergeant (Arthur Adams) sends Officers Floyd (Paul Smith) and Noel (Sid Clute) to investigate the reported appearance of a house on a previously vacant lot.


# 85, "Oedipus Hex"
A Policeman (Paul Smith) is written up for dereliction of duty when he joins in with a "fun-loving" group at the Stephens’ home, and misses several hours of duty.


# 87, "My Friend Ben"
# 88, "Samantha for the Defense"
The Judge (Harry Holcomb) presiding over the case involving "Ben Franklin's" theft of a city fire-engine, finds the old gentleman to be charming and acquits him of all charges.


# 91, "Sam in the Moon"
In an entry thought to have been "dreamed" up by the Air Force in an attempt to mislead UFO conspiracy theorists, Military Officers were reported to have imprisoned a woman with extraordinary powers, when moon dust was found to be in her possession.


# 94, "The Corn is as High as a Guernsey’s Eye"
Police investigate the disappearance of a cow. It turns up again unharmed, leading investigators to believe that it had simply wandered off.


# 95, "The Trial and Error of Aunt Clara"
An entry in the blotter highlights the case of a woman known only as "Clara," who underwent a competency hearing before a Judge Bean (Arthur Malet). The ruling shows that he declared her "earthbound," which we can only conclude meant that her driving privileges were revoked.


# 124, "Samantha’s da Vinci Dilemma"
A Museum Guard (Vince Howard) witnesses a man claiming to be Leonardo da Vinci vandalizing valuable art exhibits.


# 128, "Hippie, Hippie, Hooray"
Serena (refused to give last name), cousin of a Samantha Stephens, is arrested at a Love-In for inciting a riot. When a photo of her leaving the paddy wagon appears in the newspaper, Darrin Stephens, husband of Samantha, nearly loses the Giddings tractor account.


# 135, "I Confess"
In perhaps the most bizarre entry ever found in the blotter, a military officer and a secret agent reportedly investigated a case that involved a witch that had revealed her true nature. Apparently confirming that the report was true, the entire family, consisting of two witches and one mortal, were taken into custody on a military base. No corroboration of any of these strange events has ever been possible, leaving some to believe that this entire incident had simply been "dreamed" up as a practical joke.


# 137, "Samantha’s Secret Saucer"
Captain Tugwell (Eldon Ouick) and Colonel Burkett (Larry D. Mann) from the United States Air Force investigate Gladys Kravitz’ report of a UFO in the Stephens' backyard. Mrs. Kravitz later retracts her claims in an apparent state of drunkeness. Her penchant to imbibe may explain the original report.


# 138, "The No-Harm Charm"
A fearless Darrin Stephens foils a bank robbery perpetrated by a fake security guard (Paul Smith).


# 156, "Serena Strikes Again, Part 2"
A Policeman (Richard X. Slattery) is bitten by a presumably stolen monkey, and chases after it.


# 171, "Samantha and the Beanstalk"
In a blotter entry that can only be considered a prank, a guard (David "Deacon" Jones) is recorded as being given his pink slip for incompetently guarding the "Giant's Castle" from intrusion.


# 173, "Samantha’s Caesar Salad"
Officer #1(John J. Fox) and Officer #2 (Herb Ellis) try to keep the peace after a public disturbance by a strange man claiming to be Julius Caesar.


# 174, "Samantha’s Curious Cravings"
An officer on motorcycle (Tommy Davis) pulls a speeding Darrin Stephens over, but finds no pregnant passenger about to give birth, as Darrin claims was his reason for speeding. He is ticketed.


# 177, "To Trick or Treat or Not to Trick or Treat"
A Policeman (Paul Sorensen) gives a speeding ticket to a Darrin Stephens, who is inexplicably in witch make-up.


# 179, "Samantha’s Secret Spell"
An airport security guard (Jerry Rush) accompanies a Larry Tate to arrest a Darrin Stephens for company theft. Mr. Stephens appears innocent when the stolen layouts are found to belong to another McMann & Tate employee, Ralph Jackman.


# 190, "Super Arthur"
A Policeman (Paul Smith) and his partner investigate reports of a flying man (known only as "Uncle Arthur") in a Superman costume, which his niece, Samantha Stephens, reveals to merely be a little publicity stunt for her husband's advertising agency.


# 203, "The Salem Saga, part 1"
Policeman #1 (Richard X. Slattery) and Policeman #2 (Ron Masak) follow accused bed warmer thief Darrin Stephens back to the Hawthorne Motor Hotel after two eye witnesses, tour guide Miss Ferndale and vagrant Mr. Potter, testify that they saw the stolen item in the Stephens' car.


# 204, "Samantha’s Hot Bed Warmer, part 2"
Policeman #1 (Richard X. Slattery) and Policeman #2 (Ron Masak) find the stolen bed warmer in the Stephens' possession, and arrest Mr. Stephens. Later, the bed warmer disappears from the evidence room from under the watchful eye of Capt. Harkness (Jack Wells). At trial, Miss Ferndale drops charges after the bed warmer is recovered, and the Judge (Bill Zuckert) dismisses the case.


# 206, "Paul Revere Rides Again"
Officer Clancey (Ron Masak) and a Desk Sergeant (Parley Baer) are puzzled by a public disturbance involving a man claiming to be Paul Revere. "Mr. Revere's" horse-ride through town is explained to be a advertising campaign stunt.


# 208, "Samantha's Old Salem Trip"
An interesting item was found in the historical archives that details the events of a witch trial. The witch was apparently seen to remove her shackles by a peculiar nose movement, turn into a bucket of water, and ultimately escape into thin air. The Judge, deciding that they could only have been hallucinating, declared an end to the Salem Witch Trials.


# 216, "The Good Fairy Strikes Again, part 2"
Officer #1 (Vic Tayback) and Officer #2 (Paul Smith) take a bewildered woman, known only as Mary, down to the station after they find her intoxicated and wandering the streets. She is released into the custody of a Darrin Stephens.


# 222, "Darrin Goes Ape"
After receiving a call from a frantic Gladys Kravitz, Officer Mitchell (Paul Smith) and Officer Hyams (Sidney Clute) arrive on the scene and confirm that an ape is indeed loose inside 1164 Morning Glory Circle. Said officers call headquarters, and Sergeant Miller (Herb Vigran) dispatches Animal Regulation to the scene.


# 223, "Money Happy Returns"
Police arrive and apprehend corrupt bookie Rudolph Kosko (Arch Johnson) and co-thug, Mr. Braun (Karl Lukas), at the home of Darrin Stephens. Mr. Stephens was reported to have found an envelope of money in a taxi, and was then visited by the thugs, who were seeking their missing money. Police were alerted to the events at the Stephens' home when they heard the siren of another police unit. Said police unit must have been on another case, as they were never seen or identified.


# 225, "Sam’s Psychic Pslip"
A store detective (Irwin Charone) accuses a Phyllis and Samantha Stephens of shoplifting after several items disappear near where they were shopping. All the merchandise soon turned up, so no charges were filed.


# 226, "Samantha’s Magic Mirror"
Policeman #1 (Jack Denton) and Policeman #2 (Ed Deemer) attempt to investigate a report of a man seen looking into the Stephens’ windows. The man is seen by the officers, but mysteriously escapes before they can bring him into custody.


# 238, "Hansel and Gretel in Samanthaland"
Policeman #1 (Richard X. Slattery) and Policeman #2 (Joel Lawrence) escort two lost children back to the Stephens' home, where their odd state of dress and speech is explained as being due to the siblings' participation in a children’s theatre troupe.


# 249, "George Washington Zapped Here, part 1"
A Police Sergeant (Herb Vigran) and Officer (John Garwood) encounter a public speaker dressed as George Washington, who becomes violent when asked to cease & desist. He is arrested and brought to trial.


# 250, "George Washington Zapped Here, part 2"
At the trial of public nuisance "George Washington," the presiding Judge (Jack Collins) finds the old gentleman charming, and acquits him of all charges.


# 253, "Sam’s Witchcraft Blows a Fuse"
A Police Sergeant (Herb Vigran) sends Officer Fred (Richard X. Slattery) out to investigate the report of a strange bird seen on the rooftop of the Stephens' home. Later, Darrin Stephens is arrested for the burglary of Ben Fong’s Chinese Restaurant.


The MGC Medal of Valor is awarded to:

Richard X. Slattery, who appeared as an officer 6 times (#s 39, 156, 203, 204, 238 and 253).

The MGC Medal of Merit is awarded to:

Ron Masak, ("Officer Clancey") in #s 203, 204 and 206.

Herb Vigran, ("Police Sergeant") in #s 222, 249 and 253.

The "Good Cop Gone Bad" citation goes to:

Karl Lukas, who played a cop in the alley in # 4, later turns up again in # 223 as Mr. Braun, a gangster's bodyguard!

The "Good Cop Gone Bad Gone Good Again" citation goes to:

Paul Smith, whose single stint as a bad guy (a false security guard in a bank hold-up in # 138), shows that rehabilitation can indeed work wonders. His "Good Cop" record includes #s 80, 85, 190, 216, 222 and 253.

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