by Elisabeth Byrd
This is a story about how Tabitha Stephens copes with being a teenage witch.
Darrin: Good morning, everybody. (Stops by stove to kiss
Samantha. Looks at clock.)
Samantha: That won’t be necessary, Sweetheart. Just take this thermos.
Darrin: (noticing what Tabitha is reading) Tabitha, I thought I told you no witchcraft!
Tabitha: Why Daddy, I’m not doing witchcraft, I’m just reading a book on it. I have to read it for later this week. Grandmamma is taking me to the Witch’s Meeting in Paris to be tested.
Samantha: Now Darrin, we agreed that we would allow Tabitha to be tested like a normal witch. Mother will go bananas if you go back on your word. And the Witches Council is already on edge about you insisting that she grow up like a mortal.
Darrin: Well, normal teenage girls don’t read books on incantations at the breakfast table!
Tabitha: (Getting up from table and walking to Darrin, speaking persuasively) No Daddy, but I do. I’ll only read it at home, I promise.
Darrin: Samantha, she’s getting to be too much like you (Walks out side door with briefcase. Tabitha eyes eggs and does a nose twitch like her mother. They disappear.)
Darrin: (voice over): Tabithaaaaaa!
Tabitha :( looks at Samantha) Well?
Adam: Tabitha, why doesn’t Dad like for us to use witchcraft?
Tabitha: Well, Adam, Daddy’s a mortal. Mortal’s react oddly to the use of witchcraft. I think it has to do with the fact that he can’t do witchcraft and we can. It makes him feel inferior. So he doesn’t allow us to do it, thus eliminating the possibilities of being in an uncomfortable situation, as well as exercising his authority over us, therefore satisfying his male ego.
Tabitha: Go ask Mother.
(Adam goes downstairs to Samantha, scene transfer there. Samantha is ironing in front of the TV)
Adam: Mom, what does Tabitha mean when she says male ego?
Samantha: When did she say that?
Adam: Just a minute ago when she was explaining to me about why Dad doesn’t let us use witchcraft.
Samantha: What exactly did Tabitha say?
Adam: (tells her)
Samantha: (to herself) Oh my stars. (To Adam) Well, Adam, she meant that Daddy isn’t used to witchcraft. Now, why don’t you run outside and play with Tommy and Jim?
Adam: Okay, Mom.
End Scene 1
Samantha: Good afternoon, darling. (Kisses him) How was work?
Darrin: (suspiciously) Sam, what’s wrong?
Samantha: Well, darling, apparently Tabitha is more perceptive than we thought.
Darrin: You mean that the council has tested her already?!?
Samantha: No, she doesn’t need witchcraft for this. I mean, she does, but she doesn’t consciously use her witchcraft for this. You see, today Adam asked her why you don’t let them use witchcraft. Tabitha told him that it was because it made you feel inferior to us, therefore you forbade us to do it to keep yourself out of uncomfortable situations and satisfy your male ego.
Darrin: Whaaaaattttttt? Sam, where would she get an idea like that?
Samantha: Darrin, it’s the truth. Like I said, she’s more perceptive than we thought.
Darrin: Some of it may be true, but what about that baloney about my male ego?
Samantha: You see what I mean? She can read your subconscious. Not even you realized that that was what was going on.
Darrin: So? What does this mean?
Samantha: This means that Tabitha is even more powerful than we thought. We need to have her tested immediately.
Darrin: (protesting) Sam!
Samantha: Darrin, it’s my witchly duty.
End Scene 1
Mrs. Greene: Tabitha, which is greater, the square root of x times 23, or the square root of y times 22?
Tabitha: The square root of x multiplied by 23.
Bell rings, everybody picks up their books and files out. As Tabitha goes by the teacher’s desk, the teacher stops her.
Mrs. Greene: Tabitha, how did you know the answer to the last question? We haven’t even learned how to do that type of equation yet.
Tabitha: I don’t know. I just knew it. (Suddenly she realizes that she couldn’t possibly have known the answer to that question. The last time that happened was when she was seven and entering school. Then Grandmamma Endora had cast a spell on her to make her a genius.) Grandmamma. (To herself)
Mrs. Greene: What was that?
Tabitha: Oh nothing. I was just trying to figure out how I knew the answer to that question.
Mrs. Greene: Tabitha, I would like to test your math skills. You seem to be far more advanced than the rest of the class. Can you stay late on Thursday?
Tabitha: Umm, sure, I guess so. At least, I don’t think I have any plans.
Mrs. Greene: That will be all. You can go home now.
Tabitha exits to hallway. Her best friend, Ellie, is waiting for her.
Ellie: Why did Mrs. Greene keep you so long, Tabitha?
Tabitha: Well, I apparently shouldn’t have known the answer to the question she asked me.
Ellie: I know I didn’t. But why did she keep you late for that?
Tabitha: (Sighs) She wants to test my math skills. She says I’m more advanced than the rest of the class.
Ellie: Boy am I glad I’m not you. I’m plenty content to be a normal teenager. If she tests you, and you do really well, she might move you to high school, or maybe even college. Like I said, I’m glad I’m not you. You won’t ever have time to date boys or go to parties or anything. Me, I’m just glad to be a normal teenager. Oops! Look at the time! Charlie is supposed to pick me up about now to go to ballet. Well, ‘bye Tabitha. See ya’ tomorrow.
Tabitha: (Watches Ellie leave and sighs) I wouldn’t know what it would mean to be normal, so I guess that it won’t matter much if they do put me in high school.(Starts to walk home) I better get going, or Adam will be the last one. When he’s the last one he complains for days. (Looks around, snaps, and pops out)
Susan Kravitz: (Around corner, listening to Tabitha, walks around corner to confront her. Gasps) Where is she? Aunt Gladys was right; there is something weird about that family.
End Scene Two
Samantha: (into phone) Yes, yes Mrs. Greene. Did she now? Uh huh, yes, I understand. I will watch and see. Well, I don’t think- Of course. Goodbye to you too.
Darrin: What was that?
Samantha: (ignoring him and yelling upstairs) Tabitha? Tabitha, come here please. (Tabitha comes down stairs. Stops on landing.) Tabitha, I just got off the phone with your algebra teacher. Now, for some reason she seems to think that you’re a great deal smarter than the rest of the class. Why would she think that?
Tabitha: I know the reason she thinks that, but I don’t know the reason I know all the answers. She no doubt told you that she asked me to answer a problem I shouldn’t have known the answer to, and I knew the answer.
Samantha: Yes, and-
Darrin: (standing behind Samantha, mad) Tabitha, You told me that you wouldn’t use witchcraft in school!
Samantha: Now Darrin, let Tabitha explain before you blow your top.
Tabitha: I didn’t use my witchcraft! I somehow just knew the answer. And somehow I don’t think that Grandmamma did this. It just isn’t her, or any other of our crazy relatives, for that matter, style.
Samantha: Tabitha, you’re right about it not being any of our relatives. I think I know the answer to this, but to be sure, you’re coming with me. (Grabs Tabitha’s hand and leads her to the center of the living room. She changes into her flying outfit, and seeing her mother do this, Tabitha does the same. Her flying outfit is the same style as her mother’s, only dark purple instead of black and green. Thunder crashes; they wave their arms, and pop out.)
End Scene Three
Darrin: Adam, I sure am glad that you’re more mortal than warlock.
Adam: Me, too. (Adam isn’t really listening to his father)
Darrin: This way, we have the same interests like sports, food, more sports.
Adam: You’re right, Dad. Hey Dad, tomorrow will you play football with me?
Darrin: (not really listening to Adam) Sure, son. I guess, if you look at it a certain way, witchcraft is kind of like the activity that your mom and Tabitha have in common. I can’t say that I like their practicing witchcraft, but as long as neither of them- especially Tabitha- gets hurt, then I guess I can abide it. Now, as soon as one of them gets hurt or taken away, I’m stopping this practice once and- (He is interrupted by Samantha popping in)
Samantha: Hi boys! (She kisses Darrin and Adam and tries to hide the fact that Tabitha isn’t with her.) So, what are you doing?
Darrin: Sam, where’s Tabitha?
Samantha: Well, Sweetheart, she’s at the Witches Council.
Darrin: YOU LEFT TABITHA ALONE WITH THE WITCHES COUNCIL!?! (He is standing at this point)
Samantha: Darrin, relax, I wasn’t allowed to be there while they tested her. Besides, Mother’s the chairman of the committee.
Darrin: YOU LEFT HER ALONE WITH YOUR MOTHER!?!
Samantha: Darrin, would you please calm down and stop shouting? We’ve left Tabitha alone with my mother hundreds of times before, anyway. Besides, the only thing they’re doing is testing her.
Darrin: The only thing- Sam, how can you say that? They might try to take our daughter away from us as they have before, and this time they might succeed!
Samantha: Oh Darrin, I wish you would be rational. I know she’s your little girl and you’re protective of her, but she’s thirteen, for goodness sakes! Mortal thirteen year olds sometimes go to different continents by themselves.
Darrin: Yes, but Tabitha is in another realm.
Samantha: I can’t believe we’re arguing like this. I’m sure Tabitha is fine. As well as having inherited my witchly talents, she has inherited your sense of rationality. Well, the rationality you had before you got to know my family, at least.
(Endora pops in. Darrin looks annoyed.)
Endora: (Hugs Adam before announcing grimly) We have a problem. Tabitha has disappeared.
To be continued…
Witch in Progress - Part One Part Two
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